Oct 7, 2025
"let nonbinary people be lesbian/gay" and "sometimes the only reason nonbinary people are "allowed" to be lesbian/gay is because they're seen as woman-lite/man-lite" are two statements that can and should co-exist
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"let nonbinary people be lesbian/gay" and "sometimes the only reason nonbinary people are "allowed" to be lesbian/gay is because they're seen as woman-lite/man-lite" are two statements that can and should co-exist
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briefly rising from a couple of really sick weeks to muse.
I don't put # men dni on any of my posts.
I don't like it. I find it dysphoria inducing and I find that transmasculine, nonbinary, and genderqueer community often find it dysphoria inducing. I find it anti indigenous. I find it colonial. I find it tired and reductive. nonbinary people are not all "non men" white feminine afabs with they/them pronouns who are agender/neutral about gender writ large. a lot of nonbinary people are actually bigender+. a lot of us have race(s) that play into our gender.
man/woman arent inherent opposites in any way. it's a really white & Western idea to believe otherwise. I understand sapphic community not wanting cis men to fetishize them, and blah blah fucking blah, and simultaneously, whether you tell them to "dni" or not, I don't think the ones you're worried about would stop or think twice if they're the ones you actually want to dni. however transmasculine people and trans men, especially the butch and lesbian variety, will think twice if we are allowed to be around you, or should be around you at all.
because we dont want others to be uncomfortable. we dont want you to be uncomfortable.
I also always worry about alienating people exploring gender, new to exploring gender, or baby transfems on any of my posts. I simply block men that are weird and fetishistic to me. trans or cis.
being bipoc & gender complex in what feels and seems to be majority white agender fem(me) "non men" spaces makes me a little insane.
but no. I don't put "men dni." I find it exhaustive. regressive. overstated. you're not really as inclusive of "nonbinary people" as you think you are if your idea of nonbinary actually just means "(white) neutral/feminine/woman adjacent."
atp im gonna start blocking people en masse using this rhetoric. people irl are really normal about all of this (in that i dont get minced about who i am and what my gender is or should be). people online cannot fucking shut up about men when they make lesbian, sapphic, or wlw posts.
We need non-binary activism NOW! for everyone outside of the sex and gender binaries. We need research, organising, radical action, on the ground protests. We have no civil rights, we are socially and legally invisible and that injustice must end NOW!
I don't think all my sisters hate trans men/mascs, never in my life would I believe every trans woman/fem to inherently be my enemy or out to get me. I love my sisters, they are part of my community online and not, they are my friends, they are my support, and I genuinely love what they do for our community and otherwise.
But you know who I do think are malicious? TRFs. Point blank.
TRFs walk and talk just like TERFs do and try to hide it, but if you're gonna act like one you're gonna get treated like one. And I'll make it real clear, you aren't gonna be treated like no sister of mine, I do not have solidarity with TRFs, and I never will with people who actively push ideas with intent to hurt me and others. I don't play friendly friendly with bigotry.
You're trans exclusionary bioessentialist pieces of shit as much as anyone else spouting the same ideals even if you yourself happen to be trans. If your allyship falls flat the moment it involves people you don't like, there's an issue. And cause I know some people wanna take things the worst way possible let me clear
I do not hate TRFs because they are trans women. I hate TRFs because they are fucking bigots and that has nothing to with their identity, but everything to do with the ideology and hate they spit.
My 85 year old dad came out as nonbinary and everyone's talking about, "is it dementia? is it Alzheimer's? are his kids making him do it?" No one is willing to admit this isn't new. He wore skirts growing up when he was at home, and dresses. When his family immigrated and they switched to English in the home, he asked to be called it or they or she, not exclusively he. He was seen as progressive and the one based boomer when he accepted my half-sister being a lesbian and my cousin being nonbinary. And yet now, now that he's said he's he/it/they/she and prefers we speak Uzbek with him since it's not gendered (there's only one set of pronouns in Uzbek), everyone's acting like he's either being forced into it or is losing his mind.
this is exorsexism
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this is exorsexism
firstly, presentation doesnt equal gender, if a nonbinary person looks feminine but says they're nonbinary, then guess what? THEYRE FUCKING NONBINARY
secondly, yes if you dont use a persons preferred pronouns because they don't look a certain way then yes you are a transphobe
thirdly, based on the example, mark is a transphobe. can you imagine if after you misgendered and deadnamed a trans woman you called her a "shemale"? we can all understand how that's transphobic but its not when done to an enby? double standard much?
^ no words needed, just these whole tags. bleh
this is exorsexism
The fact that I know multiple nonbinary people, that decided to go on HRT for a period of time to get specific results, and then stopped taking HRT after getting those results (they didn't want the other effects of HRT), and that all of them are considered to be detransitioners in most studies that take place.
It makes me wonder how much of the "detrans" percentage, is actually just nonbinary people that achieved their transition goals, and stopped taking HRT as a result.
this is exorsexism