#high fe

High Ni

LII (ENTJ)

EII (ENFJ)

High Ne

LIE (INTP)

EIE (INFP)

High Ti

ILI (ENTP)

SLI (ESTP)

High Te

ILE (INTJ)

SLE (ISTJ)

High Si

ESI (ESFJ)

LSI (ESTJ)

High Se

ESE (ISFP)

LSE (ISTP)

High Fi

SEI (ESFP)

IEI (ENFP)

High Fe

SEE (ISFJ)

*Picture related and legit*

Looking for soul mates/kindred spirits since they day you're born

Wanting to be with people all the time

Never getting sick of people

Loving everybody, even though you can see their faults

Wanting to know everybody intimately, to their core

Wanting someone to feel the same way about you for once

Accepting people the way they are

Wanting people to accept you the way you are

Wanting kindness and openness all the time

Okay with productive conflict, hate pointless fights

Brain is always on people watch

Choosing to hate certain people cos you don't have energy to love another person

Falling most in love with the person you chose to hate ugh

Not really knowing the difference between love and IN LOVE cos it's all the same to you

Being told you're clingy

Being told you're jealous, but you're not. You just don't like people actually cutting you out?

Being okay with people ditching you for a while, as long as they tell you they're not mad at you

Always scared people are mad at you

Constantly checking everyone else's mood and feelings are okay

Not knowing how you feel

Not knowing how to trust yourself, because people say don't trust your feelings, and you feel EVERYTHING

Being told you're desperate or insane cos you love everyone

No one seems to love the same way you do, so you get used to it

Expecting you'll never find your 'soul mate', and you just made it up

Crying cos no one takes the effort to get to know you like you know them

Helping everyone cos you love them, only to be used a lot

Copying people by accident

Wanting people to work you out

Grinning and bearing it because you don't want people to hate you

A bad friend is better than no friend at all!

Scared of losing people

Feeling like a whole person, but knowing you NEED other whole people in your life to be happy

Doing things you don't want cos everyone else wanted to and they're happy, so you're happy

Not doing things you want because people said it was a bad idea or just wrong

Being told you need to be more independent

Paranoia

Also bring told you need to open up more

Lots of shame feelings. There's always someone saying you're doing the wrong thing.

Keeping things to yourself cos it's just you and they don't matter

Being told you're over sensitive

Finding joy in other's interests

Being accused of being fake or a suck up

What Ti development is like:

Carving out your own interests.

You still like other's interests and copy them a lot, but you have a strong core sense of self

Realising no one can love you for who you are until you show WHO YOU ARE. So being more open

Okay with losing the people, as long as they weren't super close

A bad friend is a good friend if they're doing their best. A nasty friend isn't worth keeping.

You can be content in your own, but happiness depends on your relationship with others.

Finally understanding that real love is true connection, which explains why sometimes your long term friendships are less fruitful than newer ones.

Now you can finally get the difference between love and IN love. A two way connection with two people trying to keep it that way and working for it. Not just you trying to understand someone and them ignoring you or being like 'OH, you're so over-sensitive'.

Learning it's okay for you to love everyone, but learning to show love in tiers. Not everyone is entitled to the same amount of energy from you

Being chiller about the idea of 'non productive' conflict, because sometimes people seem to make friends after they fight which is weird.

Realising people SHOULD be treating you like you treat them. That's what love is.

Getting better at sticking up for yourself and not being used

Realising the kind of 'soul mates' you wanted are real, but they don't just come and start demanding things from you like other people you've wasted your time on.

Being pickier about friends and not feeling guilty about it

Less guilt!

Deciding your own opinions and beliefs matter and are valid.

Realising your feelings ARE your opinions and thoughts. Emotions are entirely different.

More confidence

Able to risk things to help people, because you're less worried about how they'll take you

Concerned with giving a true impression of the inner self rather than hiding in fear and shame

Realising no one is going to be able to work you out because you just smile and go along with everyone. So only doing those things if you mean it

Being less paranoid

Still doing things you don't want to because everyone else wants to, but feeling less stuck about it because you're okay with leaving if you actually hate it. You're not going to grit your teeth and bear it anymore, because then you give a false impression of self.

Doing things because they're right for you, so long as they don't hurt others

It’s so funny to realise that as I grow older and grow more into my auxiliary Fe, this one annoying part of high Fe that I’ve witnessed in so many ESFJs throughout my life that I like to call aggressive overprotectiveness ... has been slumbering within me all this time as well. 

Like, you expect me to not get mad when I meet INFP to get some ice cream late in the afternoon, only to hear that that’s the first time he’s eaten anything that day? Doesn’t matter that I frequently forget meals myself, still makes me want to spoon-feed him like an infant. And you expect me to not get mad when ENTJ tells me he’s feeling a bit sick and almost collapsed on the stairs on the way up to his office, only to learn that two hours later (when he should have learned his lesson!!!!), he took the stairs again instead of the elevator? Keep doing that, boy, and I’ll have to break your knees to stop you and take proper care of you myself.

Ni (inner intuition/guts): ENFJ/ENTJ

Both of these types have high intuition towards what people feel (ENFJ/Fe→Ni) or think (ENTJ/Te→Ni). They take on feelings/thoughts of other people (ENFJ/ENTJ) using their own premonitions (inner intuition). Good types for clairvoyants

Ti (inner thinking/reflection): ENTP/ESTP

Both of these people can logically analyse other people's fears (ENTP/Ne→Ti) or pain (ESTP/Se→Ti). They can overcome their own fears (ENTP) or pain (ESTP) by projecting them on other people with the help of high Ti (logical analysis). Good types for psychologists

Fi (inner feelings/unconscious): ENFP/ESFP

Both of these types are inclined towards people who have feelings for them. They can predict if somebody fell in love with them or hates them. ENFP has strong feelings (Fi) towards people who feel danger or fear (Ne→Fi), while ESTP has strong feeling (Fi) towards people who feel pain (Se→Fi). Good types for doctors

Si (sensibility/responsiveness): ESTJ/ESFJ

High Si of ESTJ/ESFJ helps them to easily adapt to any circumstances. They can become friends with anyone since they aren't disgusted with anyone's aura or appearance. ESTJ is sensitive towards what other people think of him (Te→Si). That's why he seeks praise and admiration from his parents or teachers since young age. Might be into arts. ESFJ is sensitive towards how other people feel about him (Fe→Si). They desperately fall in love to later regret it. Partners of ESFJ often betray him after using his umconditional love for their own needs. Both ESTJ and ESFJ are very dramatic and charismatic because of high Si. Their thoughts (ESTJ/Te→Si) or feelings (ESFJ/Fe→Si) are displayed on their face. Good types for dramatic actors, especially, in theatre

Ne (outer intuition/guts): INFP/INTP

Outer function means that only actions of other people can activate it. Most of the times it's in hibernation which means that introverted types use their strongest functions to survive, while extroverted types use their strongest functions to help others. With Fi→Ne of INFP intuition activates when somebody has strong feelings towards INFP (Fi), especially, when it's associated with physical violance. INFP might be a victim of pedophilia, domestic violence, bullying because people easily fall in love with him, but don't want to admit it. With Ti→Ne of INTP intuition activates when somebody plans to do something bad towards INTP (Ti). Ti makes other people be obsessed with INTP because of their high focus and analysis of INTP (Ti), so they might even try to hurt INTP, so nobody gets INTP. Good types for detectives or scientists

Te (outer thinking/reflection): INTJ/ISTJ

Thinking process of INTJ/ISTJ activates when they foresee something bad (INTJ/Ni→Te) or feel pain (ISTJ/Si→Te). They're inclined towards finding logical decisions when they feel danger (INTJ/Ni→Te) or pain (ISTJ/Si→Te). Good types for rescuers in reanimation, fire department, police etc.

Fe (outer feelings/unconscious): INFJ/ISFJ

Feelings of INFJ/ISFJ activate when somebody threatens them (INFJ/Ni→Fe) or hurt them (ISFJ/Si→Fe) which means both of these types feel empathy towards villains like, for example, INFJ Tom Hiddleston towards Loki. INFJ/ISFJ actors often play characters who are victims that don't fight back (INFJ Tom Hiddleston Loki and ENFP Chris Hemsworth Thor). And that's why they're labeled as villains. Good types for lawyers or education system workers

Se (outer sensibility/responsiveness): ISTP/ISFP

A few years ago, I made a post about how the cognitive functions manifest in our behaviour and now I’m going to expand on that and give a more detailed, visually accompanied overview for each type, now for the ESFJ.

For the purpose of this guide, I’m taking a look at this interview with Olivia Colman, a British actress. You can find the links to other type spotting guides below which I will update over time when new guides are being added.

The dominant and the auxiliary cognitive functions that people use are those that are the ones that are really noticeable in the quality of their gaze, in their speech style, in their facial expressions, and their whole general demeanour, and so these are the ones that I will be focussing on here. In case of an ESFJ, these functions are Fe and Si. Thanks to this combination, ESFJs are the most emotive of all the types. High Fe leads to the automatic use of your face as a communication device, which is why FJs in general are really good at conveying their feelings or their opinion on a matter without even having to open their mouths and at adapting to the people around them and the situation at hand. But unlike the NFJs, who have high Ni and thus display a certain detachment (in comparison, take a look at Nicholas Hoult, an ENTJ, sitting next to Olivia Colman in the gifs below showing this kind of Ni-detachment), ESFJs always feel like a part of the scene as they do not go into a complete chameleon mode like the NFJs and instead try to appeal to other people in a more approachable and emotional way. You can nicely see Olivia Colman’s emotive range in the gif below, how her face is going on an entire journey while listening to someone else to quietly communicate not just that she is listening, but also how she is feeling about what is being said. 

But this constant emotional self-expression can have an effect on the people they are with. While the NFJs tend to use their Fe to hide themselves and to adapt to others, ESFJs are not uncommon to use their Fe to project what’s inside them to the outside and are able to steer the mood of a room in a different direction. This way, they are able to enthusiastically cheer people on and make them believe in themselves or create a sense of warmth and togetherness, but also to fill everyone in proximity with not so nice emotions. I know that particularly ESFJs are not popular among FPs for this very reason, so I want to note that this is usually not a deliberate malicious kind of action to manipulate people. It’s just what happens when a person is very in tune with other people, it’s automatic. There is nothing inherently good or bad about dominant Fe, it’s how it’s used by individual people. But since ESFJs are so focused on the dynamics and relationships with other people, they typically put in the effort of making sure that everyone in the room feels included and appreciated to maintain harmony and a sense of unity. One way of doing this is by actively trying to establish eye contact with everyone in the conversation while they are both talking and listening, which is exactly what you can see Olivia Colman doing in the gif below. Note that being on the Si/Ne spectrum, ESFJs completely lack the intensity in their gaze that SPs and NJs display, and so their eyes typically have some kind of softness to them, due to dominant Fe even more so than the STJs. Further, adapting to other people and being effortlessly friendly with them, even if they don’t like them, is their way of showing respect to the other person, regardless of how they feel about them. If they don’t treat someone this way, however, it’s a conscious choice as they are probably filled with too much disdain for this other person to be able to bring themselves to do it. In this case, it’s a conscious decision to make a point. Another thing that I’ve found is that most ESFJs are extreme kinds of hand talkers. 

Something that all the SJs share due to their high Si, even though it may not apply to every single individual SJ but to the vast majority of them, are two telltale signs: 1) a certain sense of elegance and grace in their posture and movements, and 2) a certain kind of tension around the mouth, which leads to the typical wrinkles in that area that develop with age. Olivia Colman is not an exception to either of those. Even though she has referred to herself as walking like a farmer (x), her hand movements and her tense upright posture even while wildly gesticulating do convey an intrinsic elegance.

When it comes to speaking patterns, let me first say that ESFJs are often amazing storytellers. They can recall so many details about the story they are talking about and know exactly how to appeal to their audience and how to make the story funny. They do not have a monotonous voice at all and they emphasise every point they are making with a vivid expression on their face to the degree that they sometimes substitute saying a word by simply showing its meaning on their face. Concerning the speech itself, high Si generally leads to a very fluent way of speaking without many pauses (unlike the NJs and SPs) and if they do need to pause, they fill it with uhm, so a moment of silence rarely comes up between their words. And even when they have another thought they want to express while already speaking, they are usually able to embed this new thought into the begun sentence and then carry on with it from where they left off, without making any grammatical errors like an NJ would. The stronger the ESFJ’s (and ESTJ’s) tertiary Ne is, however, the more they fall into an Ne-like speech pattern, so that they rapidly repeat the beginnings of a word like a stutter or they repeat whole words a few times before carrying on with the sentence (for example, one ESFJ with strong Ne who is very prone to do this is British actor Bradley James). However, other ESFJs tend to suppress this urge, which then results in a long quite strained and creaky sounding, not fully articulated [m] or [n], before they carry on with their sentence. Olivia Colman does not show this Ne-like speech pattern much, neither the open nor the suppressed one, so there is an example below of her straightforward speech talking about how hard it is for her to keep a straight face while playing Queen Elizabeth II (an ISTJ), who is not emotive at all:

It’s quite hard. Well, so if ... other characters are saying something that’s sad, I naturally can’t help myself, I go mwargh [vivid facial expression of her crying, see the second gif] and burst into tears, which is not what the queen does. She is our rock, [...] not often. No-not caught on camera. And uhm, so uh they film quite a lot on the back of my head on those days and also they’ve come up with a trick! So they give me an earpiece and they play the shipping forecast to me, so I just have to try to tune in to the shipping forecast and and that was just rude cause I’m not really listening to my fellow actors. I’m just trying not to listen to them.

INFJ: One thing I’ve learned over the past few months is that I actually need other people in order to see myself. I mean, I’m the most introverted person I know, but I’m living like a proper recluse right now. I haven’t really spoken to someone face to face for almost two months now and I’ve noticed that I kind of lose myself in this solitude. I need someone to look me in the eye. I need to observe myself in relation to other people, need to fill myself up with them to be able to see myself in their eyes. I know who I am, but this knowledge of my own self gets lost if I’m all by myself for too long. I don’t even need to really interact with people, just be among them and observe them, observe their reactions to me in passing me by. I need something to be reflected back at me, to feel the anchor again that is set inside me.

ESTJ: Huh, I don’t have that at all. I always feel like there are so many different versions of myself out there in the world: the version of me that I see myself as and all the perceptions that other people have of me, but are different from my own self-perception. So I only feel like I can truly see myself when I’m alone and my perception of myself doesn’t get distorted by the expectations other people have of me. It’s like I have to cancel out all of their noise. 

INFJ: Do you ever feel like you yourself become those different versions or is it all just other people’s varying interpretations of you?

ESTJ: No, I am who I am. But other people don’t see me the way I see myself or the way I think they should see me. They interpret my actions differently than I intended and so their perception of me is different from my own. And sometimes that leads to me stumbling into head-on collisions with them. You never really rub other people the wrong way, do you? I certainly don’t recall you ever being at odds with anyone.

INFJ: I don’t think I ever have been, no. I dare say I think I’m actually quite good at quickly figuring out how I need to present myself to be immediately liked by everyone involved. 

ESTJ: Yeah, I’m not. Wish I was though.