yá'át'ééh @planesofdelusion - Tumblr Blog

« you must like being the victim, you've done nothing to get out »

Jade Blossom Cemetary

❁ My pronouns are whatever's funniest at a given moment, but assume you don't have the right to she/her me until I tell you otherwise

❁ I'm an adult. Minors can interact (I can't stop you) but I will talk about nsfw topics on this blog

❁ Traumaendo and polyfragmented

❁ May engage in syscourse, but I block liberally if you piss me off

« i can sleep with one eye open if there's any sleep at night »

Complex PTSD

Complex DID

OCD

Autism

ADHD

OSPD

+ more!

« you might think that you can hurt me but the damage has been done »

No sign-offs; my parts prefer to stay anonymous.

Whatever you've heard about me isn't true.

I ignore DNIs and I don't feel bad about it (exception is 18+ DNI).

You're gonna have to present a really good argument to get me to care about your shitty discourse.

Hate asks cost 25 USD, and chances are good I won't even publish them.

I can't promise comprehensive content warnings in the tags. I will tag #cw oea, #cw ramcoa, #cw trafficking, and #cw sexual assault. I will not tag food, family, or school. I will, however, put triggering original content under a read more and give a comprehensive content warning in the post above it.

If you're reading this - you know who you are - you cannot hurt me in any way that matters. I will always be better than you, I will always be stronger, and I will live the rest of my life knowing I was right. You don't affect me. You don't weigh on my conscience.

« everyone who tried to fix me knows that i can't change a bit »

#❁ original content ❁#traumaendo #cdid #polyfragmented #system intro

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being in therapy for over a decade will get you thinking you've got a handle on everything, and like 90% of the time you're super chill and great at conflict resolution, and then you have one night where five hundred things go wrong and you start lashing out again and you're like oh yeah, i'm actually an animal with neurotransmitters

#❁ original content ❁#ptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder

alteredpanel

road rage

radiationpoisonzone

hey btw the ableism present in every system community -- pro endo, anti endo, endo neutral, endo critical, whatever -- is because people with mental illness are denied respect and dignity. the ableism is because society is ableist and many people have not unpacked their unconscious biases towards people with severe mental illnesses. has nothing to do with what community you're in. it's just like, a material reality of living in an ableist world,

vanglaggle

IT'S CALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMPASSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT EMPATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS COMPASSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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fruitorchardsystem

I drew how switches feel sometimes

tailshas2tails

Sysblr when a Black person tells them to not be a bigot by using xenophobic and racist terms: Hmmm I’m just gonna ignore that and scroll past that. Who cares if I say I crash out? It’s just a normal phrase to say

Sysblr when a POC explains the intersectionality between systemhood and being a POC is nothing white systems can understand even if they have felt hurt or bigotry: Ahhh did you guys see that post? Me neither. Eh whatever, moving on.

Sysblr when it’s time to straw man arguments on either side and tell each other to kill themselves and spending time accusing the other side of being evil disgusting harassers: YES! THIS is what we should spend our time on!

strangerconnection

you know, i don't remember

fakestorysurvivor

The tech at the abortion clinic who said, "you're 10 weeks, we're gonna say 8.5, okay?" literally SAVED MY LIFE

The older lady who saw me working the theater district and without a word slipped me a 20, SAVED MY LIFE

The nurse at the ER who refused to buy my bullshit story when I walked in and said I needed STD prophylaxis- she SAVED MY LIFE

The other victims I met while being trafficked, the older girl who told me, "shut the fuck up, don't posture like that," she SAVED MY LIFE

Even the young guy who was in with the traffickers, who got in over his head and snuck us oreos and cheez-its- he SAVED LIVES

The other survivors I've met in the aftermath who have listened and shared their wisdom- they've SAVED LIVES

You know who's never come close to saving my life? The cops. The court system. The Feds. Wider society as a whole, even. I've never been helped or cared for by these systems. I've been helped and cared for by PEOPLE. By regular human people who were all just doing their best.

More than it's ever haunted me that these awful systems and evil people exist, it haunts me that I'll never be able to thank any of those good people who've saved me. It haunts me that they'll never know how much of an impact they've made. The way I repay them is to try to bring that same energy into the world- and maybe do the same for others without even knowing it.

I think we're naive to look to something massive and uncaring to save us, when we've always been quietly and dutifully saving each other.

positivitygenic

yes, it can absolutely count as trauma even if it's something that happened just in your own brain or was caused by your own brain. your experiences fit in with it being an adverse experience that overwhelmed you. your trauma counts, and matters.

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i'm so glad i'm not on syscord anymore. one time, i tried to join a server and one of the requirements was that you disagree that AFAB people can be transfem. that was a REQUIREMENT to be verified. and when i said i didn't have an opinion they said "you must have an opinion"

#❁ original content ❁#jesus fucking christ i can't imagine being that miserable #syscord

thestarseersystem

Systemhood is feeling like you can never get to be yourself. Told by everyone. You don't belong. You should stop doing what you were doing. Stop expressing yourself. Stop existing. You are disposable. You are replaceable. You will never get to be "you".

You cope by being someone, or even something else. A doll, a robot, an animal, a different gender, a ghost, a monster, trying to protect yourself by scaring everyone else. A performer, an actor, a liar, try your best to wear the mask that never fits you. Try your best to be something you're not.

And you wake up, realizing you don't know anyone or anything, a stranger in a new land, an alien with strange things all around. They call a name that isn't yours. And you instinctively answer to it, even though it feels like bile in your throat.

You are something, someone else, not you. Where is the real you? Did they ever exist at all? Did "you" ever get to exist at all? The answer is no.

You never ever got to be you. Ever. Say it with me,

"I never was allowed to exist."

caspercryptid

I would actually go as far as to say that MOST abuse is unintentional. I think most people will go through their lives without ever experiencing intentional abuse. People are abusive because they're selfish, because they're stressed, because they care more about what society thinks they should do than the impacts of their actions on their children and partners, because they think what they're doing is correct, because they've made it make sense in their own heads, because they think they can fix their victims, they think they can fix their relationships, they think they can stop you from leaving, they think they can make you a better partner to them, they think that means you need to do what they want. We've sort of constructed mental illness in a way that doing this shit to other people counts as a form of mental illness because it is anti social behavior in the literal sense— it is behavior that causes social harm.

I don't say any of this to excuse it. I think everyone needs to be more aware of this because if you think abuse has to be intentional you will never realize you are capable of abusive behavior. You will never realize you are being shitty to the people you love, because YOU know what you mean, YOU know you don't mean any harm. But you're doing harm. You need to pay attention to the impact you have on other people, and you need to do it all the time, Especially when you feel least capable of doing so. Sorry! You live in a society. Get your head out of your ass.

t4nku-deactivated20260714

I legit needed to hear this

chimeramode

there seems to be just a huge niche of people online that really need/would greatly benefit from the framework of plurality but are afraid to claim it. which i understand because me too i doubt it for myself a lot. but i think there are a lot of us who don't really meet the criteria for DID or OSDD yet would still benefit from viewing ourselves as actually multiple selves. and perhaps a substantial number of us will later find out they meet the criteria for a diagnosis about it but i think we need to be less caught up on "do i meet this criteria" and instead focus on "what will be helpful to me". which may include resources for people with DID/OSDD, or may not.

#once again screaming #plurality is a FRAMEWORK!!!!!#it is a LENS THROUGH WHICH TO VIEW YOURSELF AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE WORLD #and if it's helpful to you then you should use it #fuck the haters

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it's crazy the things that will hit you with a wave of grief about the childhood you never got to have. i told my friend that we had a window in our bathroom when i was a kid and almost started crying

#❁ original content ❁#trauma #trauma recovery #complex post traumatic stress disorder #ptsd #cptsd

#psychology #anti psych #anti psychiatry

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yá'át'ééh