#coping methods

NOTE: These are NOT cure-alls. A combination of several methods, professional help like therapy or medication, and having a good support system are all things that go into healing and recovery. Everyone's journey is different. Use the tools that work for you and leave the others that don't.

Journaling (not just day to day entries, but vent journals, art journals, shadow work, reflection journaling, etc)

Art/crafts

Music (listening to and making)

Creative writing

Physical activity like picking up a sport or working out

Talk therapy

Group therapy

Retail therapy (can work IN MODERATION, to overcome things like spending guilt and overthinking)

Dedicated spa days/everything shower days for a fresh and clean reset

Gardening

Age regression therapy

Dedicated rest days

Medidation

Play. Yes, even as an adult. Go to a park, the pool/beach, and get out your old trampoline. Have some childhood toys to play with.

Fidget/stim it out (with stim toys, physically moving your body, with sounds/textures etc)

Go to a rage room

Write all your frustrations down and them burn them / burn old objects with trauma attached to them

Find a grounding method that works for you

Solve a puzzle/ARG/mystery book

How did I show myself love today?

How can I better show myself love tomorrow?

What is a behavior or habit that is no longer serving me?

What is one thing I appreciate about myself and why?

What is one part of my body that I appreciate and why?

What advice would my older, wiser, and more loving self give me right now?

What can I forgive myself for?

What fears did I face today?

Which of my values did I uphold today?

What brought me joy today?

What did I excel at today?

What did I do that I am proud of today?

How did others make me feel today?

How did I speak to myself today? Would I say the same things to my best friend, or my ten-year-old self?

What are some negative beliefs about myself that I can let go? Where did those beliefs come from and what do they cost me?

What problem or challenge did I face today and how might my ideal self have handled it?

What is a mistake I made recently and how can I offer myself the same compassion and understanding I might offer to a dear friend if they made the same mistake?

1. Wear a collar and lick biscoff butter from a spoon like a dog eating peanut butter.

Or

2. Buy one of those small rotisserie chickens and eat the whole thing in my car.

I have to go to the grocery store either way.

Coping Mechanisms

eft tapping

journaling

physical activity (not to a harmful extent)

cold shower

box breathing

yoga, meditation, and stretching

cleaning (not in an obsessive way)

laying on the ground

handwritten mirror affirmations

listen to upbeat and happy music

tell someone and talk about it

sleep

draw or do henna on your skin

ask someone to have a meal with you

eat in small sections until you eat the proper amount of a meal

eat safe foods

distract yourself while eating

do something from start to finish to remove a stresser

keep everything harmful in a safe and only use it when supervised

eat sour candy or drink lemon juice

go outside

use fidget toys

hit something soft (do it safely and only when 100% necessary)

get cozy with a weighted blanket, pillow, or stuffed animal

hang out with your pets

distract yourself with anything else that may be comforting to you

It was truly life changing for me when a therapist told me this:

"A coping mechanism is a method you use to survive and if it keeps you alive it's doing its job. It's only a problem when you apply it to situations it's not meant for. You need to learn how to put it back in your bag of tools and pull out the appropriate coping mechanism for the situation. And if your situation changes back to one where your old coping mechanism still works you can go back to it."

Your coping mechanism isn't "negative" or "unhealthy". You're just trying to take a hammer to a situation you need a screwdriver for

It's about using the appropriate tool for the situation but the goal is always the same: survive

In a similar note you don't have "negative" or "bad" emotions

You just have emotions

And you're not a monster for feeling a certain way.

You are responsible for your actions but even then an actions ability to do help or harm depends on your situation

Is it manipulative to burst into tears and go on a rant about how you're the worst person alive when someone corrects you?

Depends!

Is the person asking just a friend, coworker, etc asking for something completely reasonable?

Then yeah that's not a good look

Is the person someone who will scream and yell and insult and maybe even hit you until you have shown what they consider to be the 'proper' amount of remorse and debasement?

Then no it's not manipulative, it's a survival tool

I know the internet hates nuance but seriously. Having certain coping mechanisms or feelings or having done certain actions does not make you a monster

But it is important to learn how to find the correct tool to a situation.

If you try to use a hacksaw to attach bookshelf to a wall it's going to go pretty badly and cause a fair amount of damage in the process