It’s 11:45 PM on the eve of my birthday, and I wanted to start something real.
This space is for the parts of me that don’t need polishing, just witnessing.
I’m tired of waiting to be perfect. So here’s a beginning.
I want to find my voice that had been buried and silenced, thinking that I am not worthy and that I have nothing of value to offer.
I am scared. The fear of failure has stopped me so many times from doing the things I want.
I'm afraid to be judged but I know nobody really cares about what I do, nobody is really watching me. I'm just scared by the idea of it.
This is going to be the place where I share my thoughts about the things I've loved that I kept hidden because I didn't think I had the right to enjoy them at my age and by what I haven't accomplished yet in life.
I wish for myself to have a good year. I wish to be focused to reach my goals. And not to self-sabotage.
I wish for myself not to listen to my limiting beliefs that I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good at writing, I'm not good at speaking, I'm not good at making friends, I'm not skilled enough to be successful, I've been left behind, I peaked at highschool, I'm a disappointment, I'm a failure.
Starting today, I will be kinder to myself. I will love myself not because I have the perfect body, the perfect career, the big house and nice car, the perfect relationship, or the perfect life. But because right now as I am is worthy to be loved. I don't have to prove anything to anyone or to myself.
Even if I'm imperfect, I'm still worthy.
And life is still long (based on average life expectancy lol), I still have lots of time to do what I want in life, to be the best I can be, to learn the things I want, to enjoy the things I love, and to experience the things I want.
Happy birthday to me! May you have good health and good life. May you create all the things you want. And may you have the freedom and security that you want in life.
Love you, you crazy amazing person!