This is the 10th Anniversary Edition of "It's Not A Race." Originally released in August, this version is months late because the prospect of adding pages to what is easily my most read works was particularly daunting.
I wanted to post it again unattached to the original so I could display it the way it was meant to be seen.
Blessings,
-J
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summary - nightshift!reader is eager to catch a bit of rest before she has to clock in for her double. thing is, jackās in her way. but heās just where he wants to be.
warnings - nsfw. mdni. large unspecified age gap. hr violations. fingering. dirty talk. pet names. kid used. baby used. sort of exhibitionism if you squint.
notes - not proof read i just wanna fuck this old man
ā ļ½” Ė ą±Øą§ ā§ ā Ė .
āyou still breathing?ā
his arm fell from his face. the harsh white hospital lights made her look like an angel in his bleary vision. jack grumbled and pulled his arms over his head, stretching himself taunt. āoh good i thought you finally croaked,ā she quipped.
as he lifted his arms his black tee drew up his stomach. his stomach was defined, but not to an unnatural extent. she wanted to sink her teeth into that bit of pudge around his hips. she caught a glimpse of the silver hair dusted along his abdomen, trailing up his navel and disappearing beneath the black cotton of his shirt. he was impossibly thick. he nearly filled the space of the hospital bed.
āyouād miss me too much,ā he groaned. her eyes flew back up to his face. an undeniable heat slowly seeped down her spine and settled in her tummy. he crossed his large arms against his chest. she would happily spend hours kissing every one of the freckles there.
āitās my nap time, old man,ā she smiled, fidgeting with her fingers. the physician scowled, āiām pulling a double.ā
āyeah i know because so am i,ā she pulled the railing down on the side of the cot. it snapped with a shrill squeak. he flinched sleepily at the noise.
jack sat up. her knees brushed the edge of the limp mattress. āyouāre not getting my bed,ā he insisted, pink knuckle roughly rubbing at his eye.
it was childish. but it worked like a charm. she puffed out her cheeks and pouted, ādo you hate me?ā
āwhat?ā jack laughed. the crows feet at the edge of his eyes deepened. that smile. prodding against his cheeks like her personal vice. he shook his head, running a broad hand through his hair. he suddenly looked much more awake.
she shrugged helplessly, āyou want me to go sleep in my freezing car in the snow,ā she whined. jack stared at for a moment, just grinning. it was like she put him on pause and the gears in his head were working double time to keep him from doing something. what that something was, she wasnāt sure.
he huffed, āokay. cāmon.ā he sat up a bit in an attempt to make space for her but his thighs nearly filled the entirety of the seat of the bed. her heart pattered a bit in her throat. an invitation to be as close as professionally possible. or maybe they were breaking a few rules. she grinned and leaned in, āyou wanna cuddle?ā
jack scoffed, āgo sleep in your car.ā she shook her head, āscoot over, asshole,ā she giggled.
he listened. he pressed himself against the opposite rail, but there still wasnāt much room for her. she sat down and pulled her legs to her chest, reaching down and pulling up the rail. he was turned on his side, arms still crossed, legs crowding her own.
āyou look real comfortable,ā he muttered. when she looked to him his eyes were flitting about her face. he was so close. he had been this close before - leaning over her shoulder or whispering a dirty joke in her ear - but he had never looked at her like that. she teased, āoh so you do wanna cuddle?ā her voice came out an octave too high. she bit her lip.
jack gently tapped her folded leg. ārelax,ā he whispered, tone husky and low, āi donāt bite.ā her stomach was flipping with nerves. he had that catlike smirk on his lips and for once she couldnāt read his mind. he was so warm. so close. it made her brain fuzzy.
she sighed shakily. he licked his lips. she sunk into the bed, shifting awkwardly to ease the aching of her overworked joints. she turned her back towards him and her legs mirrored the curl of his own. she placed an arm under her head. she could feel the material of his scrub bottoms brushing against her ass. if she just backed up-
āyou smell good,ā he muttered. she looked over her shoulder to him with a knotted brow. it was like he was trying to kill her.
jack frowned, āwhat? go to sleep.ā
āyouāre cruel,ā she huffed as she shimmied her shoulders to reposition her head. he laughed suddenly, āwhat did i do? iām sharing my bed with you -ā his lips brushed her ear as he whispered, āyou should be grateful.ā
she turned her head a bit. the warmth of his breath tickled her cheek. his eyes had a bit of brown in them. āsee. youāre mean,ā but she was smiling because there was a wetness flooding the space between her thighs.
jackās head reared back a bit. his brows ticked and eyes narrowed. he was offended by her disobedience. ācāmon, say thank you, doctor abbot.ā
her heart dropped. she chuckled dryly, āshut up,ā and turned her gaze back toward the wall.
jack grabbed her by the jaw, fingers digging in to her plump cheeks and forcing her lips to pucker. her eyes widened and heat flooded over her body. he made her look at him. half his body weight rested on her side. blazing like a sun. something snapped in her. it wasnāt a joke.
he looked scorned or maybe aroused. she couldnāt tell what lived behind his cheshire grin. ābe a good girl. say thank you, jack, for being so kind to me.ā
her cunt was throbbing now. āth - thank you, jack,ā she managed to choke out. his grip tightened. jack shook his head lightly, āno, no. i know youāre a good listener. thatās not what i said.ā
āthank you for being so - so kind to me, jack,ā she mumbled. he smiled once more, nodding, āgood girl. so smart.ā his hand fell from her jaw to her throat. his calloused fingers slowly ghosted over the column of her neck before trailing down between her breasts, then over her stomach, and sliding beneath the waistband of her scrubs. his hand froze there. hot and oddly heavy against her abdomen.
āyou want this?ā he whispered. she nearly laughed. like she hadnāt shown him just how much she wanted him the past few months of their working relationship. she nodded enthusiastically, lip caught between her teeth.
the older man straightened up a bit. he slinked his other arm around her shoulders and she followed his lead - scooting up the bed flat on her back to make her body more accessible to him.
head resting against his bicep, she looked at him through her eyelashes. though his eyes were on herās his gaze was heady and his mouth was just slightly agape in focus. the flat of his palm slid down her abdomen and cupped her mound. she whimpered, ājack.ā
she was practically dripping. his fingers prodded at the patch of slick seeping through her panties. āfuck. youāre so wet,ā he groaned. jack pressed his forehead against her temple, lashes fluttering against her skin as he closed them in ecstasy. he pressed one big, fat finger between her clothed folds. his fingertip began to ever so slightly dip in and out of her wet cunt.
she was whining, rolling her hips against his big hand. he pressed a chaste peck into the apple of her cheek. ādāyou know how long iāve wanted to get my hands on you? hm?ā she screwed her eyes shut, holding back a squeal.
the calloused pads of his fingers dragged along her skin as he pushed her panties to the side. the heel of his palm pressed into her clit. two fingers swirled around her entrance then up and down her sensitive folds, collecting her arousal and using it as lubricant to play with her sex. ālittle pussyās so wet and puffy,ā he was all gravelly. āfeel like velvet, pretty girl. sāthis pussy just as pretty as you?ā
she hummed. her mind was static. stuffed full of jack. jackās musky cologne. jackās breath against her. jackās big bicep curling against her side. the outline of jackās big hand completely, impossibly covering her lap through her bottoms. the freckles on his skin. the weight of his body against her.
āi could play with your cunt forever. but that would be mean, huh?ā his voice dripped with faux sympathy. his touch stalled against her slick hole. she held her breath. āām not that mean. no,ā he cooed. she could feel a bit of spittle on his lips. he was drooling. āāll fuck you with my fingers. how about that, kid?ā
he was gross and perverted and decades her senior and she moaned like a whore, hips jutting instinctually. jack hummed against her hair. he pressed a wet kiss against her head and whispered a yeah before he slipped his finger in.
the digit curled against her gummy walls over and over. just one but it made her cunt ache. she was whimpering, panting, and he was shushing her.
āsh, sh, sh, babygirl. someoneāll hear.ā
she opened her mouth to argue but euphoria scrambled her brains, ābut i - feels g - sāgood, jack. good, jack.ā her words were airy. it made him laugh. he pressed his cheek against her and watched his hand as he slipped in another finger. she gasped at the stretch.
āi know, baby,ā he cooed. lust was knotting a tight band in her tummy. the meaty heel of his palm was grazing her clit in tandem with the rhythmic thrusts of his wrist and curls of his knuckles. she was edging on release in such little time and jack knew. and he was losing his mind.
jackās fat bulge was pressed against her hip. he ached with need. all that blood in his cock made him lightheaded.
she turned her head to him, watery eyes meeting his glassy ones. ājack māgonna cum if - if -ā she cut herself off with a small moan. he was moving faster, brushing against that perfect spot in her pussy with his perfect fingers.
āwant you to cum. make a mess on my hand, baby. iāll clean it up, cāmon. jackāll clean it up for you, baby.ā his perverse encouragement had her on the edge.
then he pressed his lips to hers and everything felt hot. his tongue swiped against her own lazily. her hips stuttered and a sweet rhapsody of release trickled through her body. they moaned into each otherās mouths, jack lightly humping her leg, soiling the layers between them with ropes of sticky cum.
she rode his hand through her high. their lips finally parted with a wet tch. for a moment they passed back and forth the same hot breath. jack finally pulled out of her ruined pants.
he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on the two digits. his eyes fluttered shut. he moaned like a teenage boy. she lightly giggled, still trying to catch her breath. jack pulled them out and pressed them to her smiling lips. she opened to taste the mix of his spit and her cum on his fingertips.
his hand fell to her chest and his head into the crook of her neck.āthink weāve still got time for a nap?ā
btw amab and afab do not define chromosomes or a persons junk or their facial hair situation or even their testosterone/estrogen levels. intersex people exist.
assigned male at birth and assigned female at birth are events. thats just a thing that happened it doesnt define anything about who anyone is.
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Cooks happy your different from the other girls heās been with. when you got together he was still heartbroken over Effy and he thought you would be a quick fuck then on to the next but when you started spending more time together, he couldnāt get over the feelings of butterflies around you and how easy it was with you, he fell in love.
You make him feel seen, cook never has to worry about what couch heās gonna sleep on that night when he gets kicked out again, your bed is always open to him without question, heās cried on your shoulder more times he has in his life and youāve kissed away ever tear.
His first real kiss was with you, everyone before you never really mattered, he thought they did but youāve flipped his world around and heās ever grateful.
Cook loves to cuddle, heās so affectionate already but when your alone itās triple the clingy, even though he denies it heās always the little spoon, itās perfect!! He gets to lay on your tits and youāll scratch his back or play with his hair whenever he asks.
You make him just a happier person, his friends especially Freddie and jj notice the change in cooks behaviour, since youāve been dating heās been less reckless, self-destructive, geeked out of his head and he doesnāt ruin things anymore.ļæ¼
You and cook are so in love with each other it makes people sick. Sitting in the main area at college and you were tucked into a couch in the corner just playing with each otherās fingers, giggling and whispering while stealing kisses from each other, in your own world, āfuck sake heās pussy whippedā Freddie nudges Jj fake gagging. (Thatās a common example)
Cooks love language is physical touch, he never got it from his mother so ever touch and kiss just heals him in a way he didnāt know was real, love to come from behind and hug you just to hear you laugh because the kisses heās pressing to your neck tickles, needs to hold your hand all the time. when heās anxious meet your parents for the first time he held your hand basically the whole night.
But Your family loves him and will invite him for Sunday roast ever week, especially if you have younger siblings he gets on with them so well and finally feels like he has a family.
You and cook babysit paddy really often, paddyās got a little kid crush on you and gets so shy when yous pick him up. āPads got a little crush on ya babe, he takes after me cause he knows a fine bird when he sees oneā
You call him James all the time, cooks never liked his name or anything that relates to his parents but you make it sound so right, so sweet. It has no angry or disappointed undertones, uttered with total unconditional love.
Cook needs you to tell him all the time how much you love him, he needs your constant attention truly, ātell me how irresistible I am babeā āooo you love me donāt yaā ācan you play with my hairā āneed a kiss babyā
āYou are the prettiest boy ever Jamesā āhow couldnāt iā āof course babyā āmhmm how could I say noā ever time he jokingly asks for attention or takes the piss that he will never get over the sweet genuine replies you give him.
Thinks you are the cutest girl ever, will never understand again how he thought effy was his type after you, soft and sweet you.
Cook would do short of anything for you, not that he makes a big deal about it but if you actually asked him to cut his left arm offā¦heād do it without question.
Said āI love youā first.
(18+)
If you thought cook was horny before heās that x 10 now, āplease babeee how about just a hand job thenā ācome on give your cookie a kissā¦and a blowy?ā āflash me real quickā āsend me a pic Iām hornyā āwe wonāt be late Iāll cum quickkkā ācome on babe my Willy misses yaā ā69?ā. FYI this is all in his whiniest voice and biggest puppy eyes. And itās CONSTANT.
Will not settle for a quicky anymore, he wants to do the foreplay of prepping you and eating you out will a minimum of two orgasms before he even thinks of making love fucking you.
Absolute munch like holyyyy shit wants to eat you out whenever youāve got free time, makes out with your pussy and is the messiest eater.
loves your boobs and will often fall asleep while sucking them, is constantly trying to put his hands up your shirt or trying to suck on themā¦imagine getting your nipple piercings done he would almost cry when you told him he couldnāt play with your nipples.
Cooks head gets to hazy with you, heās also such a switch it depends on what mood heās in, if heās manic excited heās definitely topping and fucking you into the mattress, but if itās one of those day heāll slip into sub space IMMEDIATELY when heās alone with you.
Definitely has cried during sex because heās so overwhelmed with how in love he is and how special he feels with you.
Effy definitely tried to get between you guys in the start and cook angry fucked you that night because he was so mad she tried to sabotage what you guys had. (My Effy hate is strong)
Morning sex is a must, yāall are just so in love with each other. Cook is literally horny the second he wakes up till the second he shuts his eyes because heās actually so obsessed with you.
āSworn Virginā is the term given to a biological female in the Balkans who has chosen to take on the social identity of a man for life. As a tradition dating back hundreds of years, this was sometimes necessary in a society that lived within tribal clans, followed the Kanun, an archaic code of law, and maintained an oppressive rule over the female gender. Young girls were commonly forced into arranged marriages with much older men in distant villages. The freedom to vote, drive, earn money or own property was traditionally the exclusive province of men. A family suddenly without a patriarch or male heir would find themselves in jeopardy of losing everything.
As an alternative, a daughter could become a Sworn Virgin, or āburneshaā, elevating her to the status of a man and granting her all the rights and privileges of any man. In order to manifest the transition such a woman cut her hair, donned male clothing and sometimes even changed her name. Most importantly of all, she took a vow of celibacy to remain chaste for life. As modernization inches towards the small villages nestled in the Albanian Alps, this archaic tradition is increasingly seen as obsolete. Only a handful of Sworn Virgins remain.
As a portrait photographer with an interest in subjects that innately speak to the diversity of the human experience, I was fascinated with this story. This is historically one of the few examples of socially accepted gender change and it is rapidly disappearing. My desire to record the sacrifice, context and experience of these women/men set me on course to seek out some of the last burnesha. I was rewarded with a small collection of people who possess an indescribable amount 0f strength and pride, value their family honor above all else, and have few regrets for all they have sacrificed. Furthermore, their absolute transition is accepted, posited and taken without question by the people among whom they live. Photographing them was my greatest privilege.