#a spectrum

yes, aros can be in a romantic relationship with someone. but they won’t feel the same way as their partner does about it (or if they do, it’s gonna take a while. ex: greyros, demiros). give them more complex feelings about it: maybe they feel completely platonic love for their partner, but deep enough for them to want to be in a romantic relationship with their partner. maybe they feel queerplatonic about their partner. maybe they wish they could feel romantic feelings for their partner (cupiro). maybe they like kissing for sexual reasons but not romantic ones. maybe they like cuddling but not kissing because it feels gross. maybe all they like are kisses that arent on the lips. maybe they only like kisses that are. maybe they like having sex with their partner. maybe they don’t. maybe they want an open relationship. maybe they only want to fuck their partner.

and these are just the parts of the a-spectrum that i’m on (asexual, aromantic). i didn’t put anything down for aplatonics because i’m admittedly undereducated on the aplatonic parts of our spectrum :( any aplatonics or microlabels that would like to reblog with some ideas for other aspec identities in relationships are extremely encouraged!! i love hearing from our community!!

Aplatonic activism and instances changed me and affect me positively to an enormous degree, as an alloplatonic neurodivergent and mentally ill aroace.

They empowered me to enjoy my own company, knowing I don't need friends either to be happy; I can be content with myself. They made me see the value in loneliness. Considering socializing drains me fast, so I tend to stay alone in my room a lot, this is very relevant to me.

They made me look inward, noticing my internal narration is actually possibly the best company I could ask for 90% of the time (when depression doesn't turn it into literal hell). No other person on the planet would understand me better than myself. Nobody shares 100% of my values. No one person shares all of my interests. When I have a healthy dose of self-confidence, I actually laugh at my own wittiness and think that no single friend's humour caters to my taste nearly as well. It would feel frustrating and self-absorbed if aplatonism existing didn't make me realize it's okay to not place friends above yourself.

They taught me to be independent. That's still a work in progress but if I hadn't learned about aplatonism, I'd probably obsess over my best friends way worse than I already do.

It also taught me another level of consent. I have yet to meet an aplatonic person irl (at least as far as I know), but the idea that even placing a label like "friend" on someone without consent could be wrong makes me feel both safer myself (I've gotten a taste of it when my ex QPP broke up with me and asked if we could still be best friends. Wtf we were never best friends dude, just friends, that felt almost dirty), and probably makes people around me feel safer too. Since I'm friendship favourable it actually makes me experience my friendships more respectfully and thoughtfully so they come out healthier.

I don't mean to make it all about myself here—aplatonic people already get the shortest end of the stick when it comes to a-spec visibility and general attitudes towards them, so it's not in such good taste to bring the focus on me and my alloplatonism—but maybe some other alloplatonic people can come across this and be inspired to deconstruct their own platonormativity.

Aplatonic advocacy helps literally everyone I swear. Aro advocacy falls short in some places by too often shifting the focus on platonic bonds as a "replacement" for the "missing" romance. Understanding aplatonism directly contributed to actually *fully* deconstructing amatonormativity without just recycling the same rhetoric.

Some Aspec Cow Emojis!

Aro | Aroace | Ace

Aspec | Oriented Aroace | Greyplatonic

pt: a-spec flags amodian attraction (link). end pt.

Anamodian, demiamodian, greyamodian.

Cupioamodian, reciproamodian, amodianflux/amodiflux.

Aegoamodian, cadeoamodian, fictoamodian.

0.1 : english isn't my first language, so I'm using a translator. Sorry for any errors!

0.2 : if this has been coined previously, please consider this as an alt.

0.3 : you can place my terms/flags on other sites or anywhere else, just don't forget to mention me as the author/creator!

✦・Mentions / Tags: @radiomogai @acronym-chaos @imoga-pride @kosmoskosts @daybreakthing @discrophy @colablob @themogaidragon @rwuffles・❥・@tertiary-attraction-archive

(Meant to match with Sapphic and Achillean)

Apollian is a term to replace the phrase "hetpassing" or "straightpassing" since those terms diminish the inherit queerness of a relationship featuring one or more queer people. This term may be used to describe a MLW relationship, Masc4Femme relationship, or any relationship that might at a glance appear to be straight. This term is meant to be used to acknowledge that there is no privilege in being invisible, stealth or in the closet, since that inherently means you are not being allowed to be your open self or that people are still defaulting to straight/cis/allo/mono even though there may be one or more queer people in the relationship.

free to use!! FREE TO EDIT!! no credit REQUIRED!

parts 1, 2, 3, & 4 (& 5)

[ID: stamps of aplatonic and a-spectrum flags. in order, they're aplatonic, aplatonic spectrum, a-spec (inclusive), happy friendless, beach aplatonic, beach aplatonic (alternative), poison aplatonic, poison (alternative), friendless, and loveless. /end ID]

[ID: unanimated & blank blinkies of the aplatonic, a-spec, loveless, and friendless flags. they each have a dotted, blue and white border. /end ID]

[ID: titled versions of the previous blinkies. in order, it's "loveless <2" with a loveless and a-spec flag, "aplatonic" and "aplatonic pride" with the aplatonic flag, "aspec" and "aspec pride" with the a-spec flag, and "aplspec" and "apple spec..." with the aplatonic flag /end ID]