I've seen a few different people talking about Annabel's insistence on being called Mrs/missus, from an indignant sort of angle, and it's made me realise that we may have vastly different interpretations of Annabel's view on marriage, so I figured I'd throw my two cents in.
The arguments I've seen seem to be that Annabel shouldn't be wanting to be identified as "someone's wife." My counter-argument is twofold.
First and foremost, I say: it's not just about being someone's wife, it's about being Lenore's wife, very specifically. Annabel has demonstrated (and outright stated) time and time again that Lenore is the only thing that matters to her. Do I think that this is necessarily healthy? No, I think she needs some real friendships very badly, but that's beside the point. Every piece of Lenore, and of their relationship, is precious to her, as exhibited by her willingness to run back into danger to find her engagement ring in ep 138. Being addressed as Mrs. is a part of that. It's the only piece of her relationship with Lenore that she can lay claim to publicly, and wear proudly and openly, without giving up their secret. Therefore, wear it proudly she does.
My second point is about the way I interpreted Annabel's objection to marriage in the first place. The impression I got from the posts I saw was that it seemed people didn't think she would want to be identified as a wife. But, from where I'm sitting, that was never the problem. Her objections to marriage were entirely about how it would restrict her life, and change what she was and wasn't able to do (and what she would have to do). It was never about identity, it was about freedom. She never even implied that she cared whether people saw her as a wife, she cared about the practical consequences; the restrictions on what she would be able to do. Her relationship with Lenore is entirely free of those restrictions, therefore she has no reservations about being proud of it.
In conclusion, Annabel's desire to be referred to as "missus" makes perfect sense to me, and is entirely consistent with her character as I interpret it. She reads, as she always has—at least to me—as a woman desperately in love with Lenore, and desperately proud of that relationship, who will do everything she can to lay claim to it, so long as she doesn't perceive that claim as putting them in danger.
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My thoughts on the new ace flag as an aroace person
🖤🩶🤍💜 -> 🖤🩶🤍💛🩷💜
I am going to preface this by saying I mean no hate to the creator, these are just my thoughts. I also know nothing about the process of creating pride flags or how any of this works, so if I get any of that wrong please (gently) correct me. I acknowledge that I am a flawed human being who is influenced by her experiences and biases. Please be civil and understanding. I am simply expressing my opinion, and if you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything at all.
I didn’t even know the meanings behind the stripes until today. Is it weird that 25% of the flag is dedicated to allies? Yes, that is undeniably odd, and I can understand why people would want to change it. But what I don’t understand is why we can’t just change the meanings of the stripes while keeping the original design. Again, I know nothing about the process behind creating pride flags, so if this isn’t possible then that’s fine, but it’s not like the colors have to mean the same thing. There are many pride flags that use the same colors with completely different meanings. Heck, all of the original colors’ meanings changed going from the old design to the new one. So if the meaning behind the stripes was the biggest reason for the change, then why can’t we just change the meaning and keep the design?
I personally don’t like the addition of the yellow. I like what it stands for, but to me personally it just feels like it looks too similar to the nonbinary flag. I also think the yellow clashes with the rest of the colors aesthetically. The black, grey, white, and purple all look good together (see the original flag) and the pink doesn’t feel too out of place because of the purple. If they had only added the pink I would probably like it more but the yellow throws the whole thing off for me.
These next few critiques don’t apply to everyone, I know not everyone who’s ace is aro and vice versa, but my opinion on the ace flag is going to be impacted by my identity as an aroace person.
Pink is my favorite color, always has been and probably always will be, and as much as I’d love to have it included in the flag for my sexuality, I don’t love what it stands for. Yes, love is important, but aromantic and asexual people so often have to “prove” that they aren’t broken because they don’t experience traditional feelings of love and attraction. Yes, love can be powerful. But love and sex are so central to our society that aromantics and asexuals are ostracized and treated as different. It’s the whole reason we’re queer! It also feels disrespectful to loveless aros, apltonics, afamilials, or other identities under the umbrella that don’t experience certain types of love. They are just as valid and important as those of us who DO experience love, in any way, shape, or form. And I understand that this isn’t an aromantic flag, but there is such a huge overlap and connection between these two identities as well as aspec identities as a whole. I like the way these people put it: this post in their tags, this post, and this post.
I also really love how the aromantic and asexual flags look together. I like the inverted design and the fact that they both consisted of black, grey, white, and one color (either two green stripes or one purple stripe). These flags have a history together, and people were combining them in various ways for years before we had the sunset aroace flag.
Just look how cool these two designs look!
I understand that may not be a very popular take, but it’s my opinion. The ace and aro communities are tied together, and it feels a bit like this new flag ignores that. Below is a comparison of the aro flag with the two versions of the ace flag. One compliments it WAY better. And this also shows how much the yellow stands out (at least to me).
You can make this same argument for other aspec flags. The agender flag has a similar color scheme and vibe as the aromantic flag, the afamilial flag looks like the original ace flag with a dark red stripe instead of people, and one of the aplatonic flags looks the same but with yellow (I found multiple aplatonic flags when googling but didn’t know which one was the most widely accepted so sorry if that flag is offensive, not used anymore, or anything like that).
While we’re talking about other aspec identities, what does this new flag mean for the micro labels within asexuality? So many acespec identities (aceflux, aegosexual, apothisexual, caedsexual, cupiosexual, demisexual, fictosexual, graysexual, myrsexual, etc.) have flags that are based on or include a similar color scheme to the original ace flag. Will they also get redesigned flags? What would those even look like? Who would be in charge of designing them? The people in those communities? Ashabi? Someone else?
If I didn’t have the original flag to compare it to, I would probably like the new flag well enough. But for so long, this flag has represented our community. The ace flag is so iconic and beloved, I don’t see why we needed to change it. We’re already a smaller queer identity that isn’t as recognizable as say lesbians or trans folks. I literally have to explain what asexual means when I come out to anyone over the age of like 25, and adding another flag is just going to confuse people.
Again, I mean no hate to the creator or anyone who prefers the new flag, people are allowed to have their opinions and disagree. I’ve even seen art incorporating the new color scheme that looked really cool. And who knows, maybe it will grow on me over time. But, for now, I’ll be sticking with the classic design.
To those of you who are defensive of the new design or the creator, please don’t assume anyone who voices a negative opinion of the flag is being racist or misogynistic because the flag was created by a black woman. There may be a minority who feel that way, and they should absolutely be called out and shamed for being bigots, but most of us don’t like it for completely innocent reasons or because we’re simply too attached to the old flag. People don’t like change. Let them adjust. I don’t think the old flag is going anywhere any time soon, and I think both flags can peacefully coexist.
Imagine if Dean started puberty early, but like very early, he hasn't heard of anything like this ever.
Dean thinks he's a freak.
He wonders if he's turning into a monster or something.
He goes to tell John, ready to be killed if necessary, but Sam starts crying just then, crying for Dean to come be with him and take care of him.
Dean realises then that he can't let himself die, ever. Sam needs him, Dean will always be there for Sam!
So Dean keeps this as a secret.
The more things happen, the more he thinks he's becoming a monster.
His voice probably develops too, but John's too careless to notice and explain.
At some point, Dean gets some knowledge about grown up thingies, and growing up, he realises some things he went through were just normal, early but normal.
But I think there'll always be things he doesn't connect to puberty hitting.
Dean still remembers that he's a freak, possibly a monster.
But hey, at least he knows now that his attraction to lil Sammy is totally normal! Right?
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