Blah Blah Woof Woof

Standing directly in the doorway to achieve peak mental health.

the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.

this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different

Murderbot is probably the most embarrassing hyperfixation to have because oh really? You're hyperfixated on the 'hyperfixates on media to avoid the real world stress and anxiety' media? Is it. Is it to avoid your real world stress and anxiety, perhaps??

I hate when people ask me how long it took me to crochet something I’ve made. Frankly, that’s none of my business. I put the yarn on the hook and worked on it whenever the spirit happened to take me to and then one day it was done. How long that process took is between the yarn and god; I want no part of it.

I only specify my things in weeks months and years. Like "I've been working on this one for 2 years" if they think I knitted a sweater with clouds on it non stop for 2 years they've at least realised that making things takes time

fibercrafts are SO maddening cuz wdym I have to go to work tomorrow, I'm like a third of a way through making a whole ass fucking cape, don't you think I should be allowed to focus on what matters (my fucking cape)

chuck isn't god. chuck is the great american christian tulpa

The only downside to talking to small children like they’re normal people and treating them like normal people (as per my mom) is that as they develop into bigger children they are viscerally aware of every single moment in which they are pandered to like stupid little accessories (as per my dad, my teacher, the special ed aide, every adult in my middle school) and you end up getting a lot of phone calls from people reporting your kid for (checks notes) “undermining authority”, “disrupting the classroom environment”, “disobeying elder peers”, and “unionizing the grade eleven gym class with intent to incite a mutiny” (as per me) and you end up with a Grown Adult who will absolutely encourage and enable other people’s children to fuck the sustem

I also enjoy modern au goth Harrowhark. But canonically she isn’t alternative. She’s like thee extreme of her cultures traditions and stereotypes I’m sorry. She’s not ur emo gf. She’d be ur classmate who wears brown ankle length skirts and might be happier in a nunnery. She has severe mental illness and it is kissing her faith on the mouth and having neurotic religiously obsessive babies. People would say she reminds them of Carrie white except cold and mean. While u were at hot topic she was reciting the bible from memory in a dark room and abstaining. I want to see modern au Harrow where she veils! I want to see Harrow at uni weirding out her classmates with her unmasked autism and shivering little dog demeanour. Yes yes lesbians want her but gay people understand the allure of an offline girlfriend who collects dead animal pieces and ‘displays’ them in rows on her chest of drawers. She doesn’t wanna look hot!! She doesn’t wanna go to the mall!!! She has never seen the craft sorry lesbians she doesn’t own a tv. She also doesn’t own a laptop (she uses the one at the library or school) and that’s the only reason she’s not been the centre of a tumblr discourse. Possibly about unsanitary bloodplay. Maybe just for being an uppity cunt. I wanna see modern Harrow having the time of her life discussing some deeply uncool academic topic in the corner of the room at a close intimate gathering of friends. She’s having the time of her life. She’s wearing a shapeless beige knit jumper. Coronabeth is there in fashion nova

Maybe, just spitballing here, maybe we don't have to do the "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" stuff at all. Maybe men and women aren't all that different, maybe the differences between individuals are far more important, maybe we just talk about good or bad behaviors directly instead of having to force everything into war of the sexes shit.

Some of you learned the shadows on the wall are fake but are stuck insisting the puppets being used to cast them are real