The Cool Blog

i could jumpstart a car with my breasts

It is hilarious making hookup arrangements as a busy adult… looking forward to seeing your pussy in ten business days

dreamt that itch.io released their own special adaptable accessible super thin flexible silicon game controller called the Butterfly you could also fuck (they packaged each one with lube and toy cleaner) but there was no specific obvious way you were supposed to fuck it they encouraged everyone to find their own special unique way to fuck it. and they ran these ads for it that were different people from all walks of life saying what they do with it . sunburned rural dad who folds it hotdog style and jacks off into it. biracial masc lesbian with undercut who tribs with the joystick. young amputee in wheelchair who lets it vibrate on his lap while he works on his novel. etc. beautiful supermodel woman whos like "and me? i just game. hard." it ended with them all triumphantly saying into the camera "and thats how *I* fuck #MyButterfly"

They also specifically contacted members of the leather community, used them as models iirc, and donated $100k to Outright International. They talked the talk and walked the walk and put their money on it too. I don't really care that I can't afford and don't want this merch, I love to see my community getting the respect it deserves. Levi's said, "We make jeans which gays wear lots of jeans? Oh leather daddies? Let's call them."

Times are hard at the cafe so they only got Something bagels

never let life get in the way of you fixating on some weird little freak

you have to prioritize what matters.

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

I hate that universal/disney/etc parks get all the cool themed and immersive restaurants behind a paywall and then out in the wild there’s a “lord of the rings themed cafe experience!” and there’s like. a few maps of the shire on the wall. maybe a menu option called ‘bilbo’s breakfast’

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

Oh I love this news!!!!

Multiple cultures upon seeing a ladybug for the first time: “Who’s cow is this????”

in German they’re Marienkäfer which also pretty much means “Mary’s Beetle”

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY DROPPED A KINGDOM HEARTS 4 TRAILER ON A RANDOM TUESDAY I’M AT WORKFJDJDJDJDJDKDJDKDNDKNDJDNDK