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i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

new phobia just dropped

haters will see multi-talented queens and develop a phobia

@stuffedtoytiger you can read them here: revised translations

sometimes an american will be talking to you and they start throwing around numbers like 70 or 90 when talking about the weather and you just have to smile and nod

yikes 😬unfollowing rn sorry… i didn’t realize they didn’t support sinister and evil women with huge boobies my bad 

you gotta start rambling in those tags bestie how else are you going to get that blogger to follow you back and your mutuals to fall in love with you #GetYapping

in 2015 we didn’t have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold

it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again

oh god fucking damn it

HOW DID THIS DISCOURSE COME BACK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026!???

To quote Cave Johnson: "Science isn't about why, it's about WHY NOT!"

I want a knife gun.

For an updated Ides of March

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

#he wouldn't fucking say that but i'm getting kind of attached to the guy you invented who did say that

I wish irl grinding was as fun as in videogames tbh. Like yeah i need to go to work a thousand times but after that i have enough materials to buy a house. But alas, houses arent real

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words