Sounds gay. I’m in.

why is miss piggy the greatest celebrity of all time. legitimately

i see pictures of her and i'm like that's who i need to be when i grow up

supposedly if i finish my work i can play video game as reward. but i see through my lies. i can play video game BEFORE i finish work, and then not do work at all.

warrior's dilemma

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

oh my god the original out in the wild

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

me on my way to the kitchen to eat shredded cheese out of the bag at 3 am

The dog has one of the Great Old Ones reassuring him with pats and treats tho. If the King in Yellow had played with u and fed u for ur entire life and let you sleep in his berth of unspeakable blackness at night, and then hugged you reassuringly when Cthulhu rose from the depths, you might be able to handle it better too

can’t stand the phantom of the opera. oh, you’re haunting this opera house?? how about you go haunt some bitches instead. ffs.

nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

only ppl on this post who matter r the ppl who r saying "me except im not a girl anymore" & "me except i wasnt a girl yet"

goddammit