Pastel cat ghost

I think it is important to bring this old theory forward first, as it appears to be becoming more and more apparent, especially with the latest addition of HL2VRAI. Plus, most of my interpretation is based on this: Gordon’s abilities to change/influence the game as the Player. I feel like this theory got lost over the years, especially with new fans coming in. So, now it is a good time to bring it up! - In HL1VRAI, it is most apparent during Benrey’s monologue in the Final Act, “I was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD, so I’m gonna be BAD.” Before that, he kept warning Gordon to turn back and tried to convince him they were on much better terms than in reality, as if he knew what his fate awaits him. From this, we can determine that the Game factors in Gordon’s perspective/thoughts/feelings at the expense of the AI’s autonomy and role; additionally, we can also argue that Gordon manifested his own gun arm. Take into consideration that he called himself “dead weight” [Act 3: Part 2, 19:30] and laments that he could not protect his teammates and was forced to rely on them for support [Act 3: Part 3, 1:44]. Then suddenly, it is revealed that the game has an area with the exact solution to his problem??  (Darnold’s lab does not exist in the real game, mind you). While they would’ve likely encountered Darnold on their way to the Lambda Labs, we would not have known about the gun arm mixture if Gordon’s arm was never removed. Plus, Gordon had long accepted that he is a murderer and a war criminal, thus having his gun arm to be a literal part of his body could be a physical manifestation from that belief - In the HL2VRAI Trailer, Dr. Coomer further emphasizes Gordon’s role with the line, “[...] The world revolved around you, Gordon, but without you? It still moves.” - HLAGE had very interesting indications. To list them off, Gordon replacing Alyx with himself (as “Alex Vance”) clearly had some effect over her as we saw in HL2, cognitively, physically, and story position. He had completely displaced her to the point her own shadow was separated from her VR model. Do also notice how he did not give himself a backstory while he is “Alex,” other than explaining the beginning premise of HLA of saving Eli, unlike when he was “Gordon Freeman.” [HLAGE, Act 1: Part 1, 15:50]. It could explain why in HL2, the AIs do not recognize who she is for this reason. However, I feel like it is a bit of a reach. Moving on, the Final Episode culminates with the Red Gnome finally being able to fight, as Gordon had repeatedly expressed how much he wished the gnome could throughout the series. Quite akin to how he wished he had an arm to protect the Science Team. As a matter of fact, Red Gnome says to him: “I’m a stone cold MUDERER! You taught me this! [...] I was innocent before I met you! You made me like! THIS! OH GOWDON, I’m a little Monster, like you now!” [HLAGE, The End, 35:55]. The chapter’s name also reflects this notion:

Sounds similar to Benrey’s, doesn’t it? Then, we have the Peppa Pig movie being “created” by Gordon. In my personal interpretation, this is the AIs’ way of saying he brought this consequence to himself. I say this because Gordon’s apathy, arrogance and naiveness is what brought us to this point. To quickly reiterate, I absolutely believe he is such a grey-coded character. He definitely has good intentions, but is deeply flawed as almost everybody in this series. He loves the AIs, sure, but more so like taking care of your toys and belongings, rather than an actual person. Think about it. When Dr. Coomer asked, “Must this really be the end of our time together? Perhaps you could take the science team’s data, transfer us somewhere else, hm? [...] Maybe a spare USB drive, or a… spare floppy disk?” [HL1VRAI, The End, 53:08], did Gordon return the favor? Did Gordon even answer his calls all those 20 years (6 years in real time)? It doesn’t seem like it. When the Red Gnome said, “How do I know that when this challenge is over, you won’t just forget about me and stop taking care of me?! Can you take a bullet for me?” [HLAGE, Act 1: Part 2, 17:29] Did Gordon prove him wrong? Or when he begged him to stay just a little longer, “... and now we can hang out forever! [...] Do you want to restart the challenge..? We can play again!” [HLAGE, The End, 38:08]? Sure, Gordon went back for him, but it was already too late, as we know. The damage has been done. The Gnome is gone for good. And all for what? Just to get a single achievement when there are many more he has to get? We see in both HL1 and HLA that Gordon does not stop for anything when it comes to beating the game, and not for anyone, that’s for sure.   We even see moments where it questions Gordon’s morality. For instance, while Gordon was arguing with the gnome, the VOX says, “Alyx was a kind person. By being rude to the Gnome, you are desyncing with the Animus.” [HLAGE, Act 2: Part 2, 37:29]. To elaborate a little, this line has always been on my mind because for 1.) It uses the past tense for Alyx as if it knew something had happened to Alyx or the Alyx the AIs know before is no longer there anymore. 2.) Gordon’s animosity is strong enough to the point that it completely disregards someone else’s morality. And 3.) implies it’s enough to derail one from the digital reality (the Animus is a VR device in the Assassin’s Creed games to access your ancestors’ memories, btw). The next is when the VOX says, “Congratulations. That was the toughest part of the game [...] The Blue Gnome is an intended feature. Please be polite to him in the future.”  [Final Act: Part 2, 39:51]. While the Blue Gnome has very obvious flaws, he is still someone with real feelings and real thoughts, even if they are extremely skewed. Yet, despite the VOX pleading with Gordon, we know what fate awaited Blue. And lastly, when the Gnome asked in the end, “We’re not good people… but you know that already, don’t you..? Can you live with all the choices you made? Were they fair to every one? Was I…?” [The End, 50:37] Interesting thing to say. Personally, I’ll say Gordon’s choices were not always fair. Is it really fair to force yourself to be the leader and ignore your friend’s pleas and needs, creating an unstable power dynamic, just so you can say you have beaten your goal?

In Scorpy’s edition of Chronicles of Benrey, we see Benrey’s perspective on this situation. To make this list shorter, I’ll transcribe what he has to say since I think it's pretty self-explanatory. You can see the screenshots right over here: 

“Is destruction really necessary for creation cause if so, then that’s soo annoying.”

Blue: “What do you do if someone wronged you and nobody seems to really care about it?” Green: “Do you swallow that shit and move on?? Or do you start throwing your weight around??”

Blue: “Maybe the problem is with others who can’t even put their foot down when someone acts inappropriately because amending their own values is uncomfortable.” Green: “I hate that someone crossing the line is seen as an “unfortunate thing” others have to deal with because everyone’s scared of standing on values and beliefs that come from themselves & not others.” 

“I don’t know what to do about this situation. Every outcome is terrifying.” On the VHS box cover, this little blurb caught my interest: “[...] If you do nothing, nothing will happen. Do not mistake that as safety. Blame is paralysis. Change requires change. You can do this. I love you OK.” I genuinely believe that Benrey is referring to Gordon here, especially with the “blame” line. If Gordon does not change his ways, nothing will change. And that nothing is something dangerous to keep poking at, as we saw the consequences in the ending of HLAGE. And you know, for Benrey to say this feels so… profound. Despite everything he has been through; despite still retaining the anger and hatred for Gordon, he still has faith in him. And I do too, which brings me to HL2VRAI. - I think HLVRAI2 made this ability significantly apparent, most notably coming from Xar. During Act 1, he consistently tries to stop Gordon from observing the perpetual motion machine, which Christopher asserts that Gordon is “affecting the outcomes.” [1:24:00 and 1:25:26]. When you think about it, the Player really does determine the outcome of these games because they are the ones to set the story into motion. Like, Dr. Coomer said, “the world revolves around [Gordon].” Whatever they look at, what makes them interested, all of it culminates in what will happen in the end. Speaking of, the next thing Xar says in Act 2 is, “You, have the Power to decide if we Live, or Die!” [1:20:56] towards Gordon. This is true, given that we saw in the endings of the series, Gordon chooses who gets to be left alone (The Science Team) and who gets to die (Benrey, Red and Blue Gnome). It’s worth noting he also has the power to save everyone. He could have listened to Benrey and Red Gnome. He could have done what Dr. Coomer asked (which turns out to be the non-canon Payday 2 stream), but he did not.

Next, Xar’s insistence for Gordon to do “positive reinforcements” for Stain. I think this is another “AIs telling Gordon to be nice ffs” moment and it’s especially interesting considering Stain is a Barney Calhoun, just like Benrey is (and for the record, I do believe Stain is Benrey, but I’ll elaborate on that at another day lol. However, you cannot ignore that there is a connection, considering both Benrey and Stain are based on the same guy). His own Food Suit is keeping records of Stain’s Heroic Alignment  (which increased up to -1. How low was Stain’s alignment before???). Even Father Grigori has to remind Gordon that Stain is not a “thing,” but a person. Finally, we get to the part where Gordon says, “This is the part where my best friend betrays me?” [1:23:55]. Worryingly, after that, Xar expressed that someone might betray the group [1:32:33]. It’s significant because it feels like Act 2 is a parallel to HL1VRAI Act 3? Both involve Gordon being beaten to unconsciousness, “tortured,” the mention of amputation is brought up in both acts (i.e. Gordon dumbly asked the Combines if he has to use the saw to amputate his leg), and topics of betrayal, right before entering Darnold’s lab. Yet, the difference is that nobody is exactly harmed or betrayed. In addition, what is truly highlighted in this section is when Gordon ultimately gives Stain full autonomy over his future; unlike with the others. He even considered Christopher his “best friend,” surprisingly. Gordon changed. Hopefully, for the better. Thus, I truly consider that his positive outlook saved everyone from having another Worst Day like HL1 Act 3. The characters bringing up betrayal could be a hint that something was supposed to occur here, but it didn’t. This post dotes on this! Check out the reblogs on there, too.

Side note, Xar is intriguing to me because as a vortigaunt, he automatically knows a lot more about what is going on far beyond Gordon’s comprehension. However, his self-awareness grants him an additional level of comprehension regarding the Game and its inner workings. Although, just by observing his behavior, I actually think he mistakes his sentiency with intelligence lol. He knows a lot more than a typical NPC would; therefore, he likely believes he is far better than the others. It would make sense why he seems to be isolated from the other vortigaunts, when they like to be in packs, and gets along with other sentient AIs far better. I would definitely be focusing on what he has to say in the next future acts.

Also, Wayne tweeted briefly about the significance of Gordon as a Player that I think confirms there is more to him than meets the eye.