Argumentative Antiethic Dreamgirl

tinder link in bio.

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

her pussy

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

Three Fuckinh Times Bruh wake me up when we get there

Genuinely why is everyone 12 now.

The worst part is that everyone else being 12 is making me more 12 out of necessity. Like what do you mean my most very strongly held and controversial beliefs now include "cover your mouth when you cough that's yucky" and "it's good to be nice and bad to be mean. You shouldn't be mean to people." That's the shit they used to get mad at me on the playground for.

They teach you this shit on carebears man. They teach you this shit on the smurfs.

SHIMP

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

call him bubonic the way he plagues me

did I ever tell yall I used to think charlie chaplin was a drag king. for like three years straight

I only found out he wasn’t because in tenth grade the topic of old hollywood leading ladies came up w my friends n I went “I think it’s so cool how charlie chaplin did all those drag roles. she was cute too haha” n they all looked at me like I’d said something just truly fucking insane. which for the record I had

SWOON!!!