this girl is taking bets

It's something that I think the existentialism of the series and the weight of Louis's pondering can distract from, but the thing is we cannot be strong all the time. To be strong all the time, in the face of the weight and anxiety of the world and our place in it (emphasized by the Marginalized and Othered framework the vampires operate in) is exhausting.

Claudia IS the best vampire. She isn't bogged down by the morality of her existence. She's hungry, so she wants food. She has fangs, and she wants to show them off. She wants the respect and joy in being The Vampire Claudia.

What she DOES struggle with is how her existence as a vampire creates a cage of societally imposed marginalized intersections. I'll definitely be talking about this in more detail in a post analyzing the postcolonial framework of her character, but Claudia's struggles with being a vampire are ALL external, and what they tell her her future is worth. To handle that, she has to be strong against the weight of what people see when they look at her (a teenager, a black girl, a disabled vampire).

So Madeleine, whose life philosophy and advice says, "yes, be angry! Blow up! Show that strength isn't about taking the weight, but having the knowledge that one blow up is not the end of the story!" This means that Claudia can change the framework of the endurance of being a vampire into one that allows weakness. Blowing up and needing something to be different doesn't have to mean throwing yourself into the fire, it can mean yelling and screaming and crying and throwing something through a window, because the glass can be cleaned up and the tears can dry and the damage doesn't have to be ugly.

And that means a lot to Claudia, who at that time needed a reminder of what made her strong enough to kill Lestat and fight for her and Louis's independence. She doesn't have to pretend to be fine with mockery, she's a proud Black vampire who doesn't have to just take the abuse in stride. She doesn't have to choose to perform as child or an adult to deserve respect, she is disabled in her ability to be one or the other and she deserves to be able to handle that life on her own terms. That is what it means to be disabled, not a child or childish in their abilities, but someone who requires some aid to function, and that is not something that determines whether she's a good vampire or not.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 01.06 | "Like Angels Put in Hell by God"

wired: louis described lestat with long hair falling past his jaw, because it's hardly necessary to say more than that, the point was "unusually long for a man in that era", and lestat is just petty enough to accuse his ex of lying about his hair for not being specific enough