creeping thing that creepeth

*dumps out contents of glass vodka bottle into a plastic bin* it’s been really cool and interesting watching show!devil’s minion actually begin to manifest and i’m pretty proud of myself for clocking how that dynamic would go two years ago in some danlou fanfiction, i.e., the sudden dysphoria and disorientation and loneliness of being bound to someone you previously despised *refills the vodka bottle with gasoline* and i am genuinely happy for book fans who are finally getting this moment after 40 years of waiting *soaks rag in plastic bin of vodka* but watching dm edits has become a whole new level of funny because, potential past dm not withstanding *stuffs the opening of the glass bottle with the rag* every scene of them together up until this very point has been so milquetoast nothingburger colorless flavorless dull mcu white guys have had more charged interactions and the number of scenes that need to be mangled beyond recognition to fit with romantic songs is genuinely hilarious y’all are doing disney crossover amv level manips when you could just WAIT FOR THE ARC TO HAPPEN *lights molotov cocktail, tosses it into the open festering tarpit of the iwtv tag, and runs away*

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out

lets out one truly pitiful little whimper & then goes back to doing fucking whatever

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

beautiful tall woman wearing a sports bra and overalls and fixing a motorcycle just lit a cigarette with a blowtorch i almost walked into traffic

Pokemon is the only community where the competitive crowd is funnier than the casual one

you will never catch me complaining about an actress on a tv show having an imperfectly concealed pregnancy or a character going on a sudden trip somewhere while her actress is on maternity leave. so many actresses (and women working in any other field) are fired, punished and pressured into making reproductive decisions for their employers' convenience & if i have to try a bit harder to suspend my disbelief then that's absolutely what i'm going to do if it means people are getting to exercise reproductive & bodily autonomy without punishment

My favorite writing of this was how Star Trek DS9 handled Nana Visitor's pregnancy. It felt out of character for her character (Kira Nerys) to get pregnant and it's the semi-utopian future, so presumably birth control works quite well and abortions are easily available. Solution: another female character gets pregnant, is injured in an emergency situation, and Kira agrees to act as surrogate. They effectively wrote this entire story line well enough, with implications for the dynamics between Kira and the biological parents, that I didn't realize until later that the actress was actually pregnant. I thought it was just an interesting plot line.

“Can you pay?” I asked. Of course she could. Her shoes were worth more than my rent. She could pay. “I can pay,” she said. Her eyes were wet. I wondered if anything else was wet. Probably not. I am not handsome. Not since the war. She was looking at my scar. Lots of people do. Most look away. Not her. She did not look away. She looked at my scar and I looked at her legs. There were two of them. I liked that about her. I liked that a whole lot. “Will there be danger?” I asked. There always is. This city bleeds danger, then drinks it right back up again.