Stinky's Comfy Cage

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

Strange women on buses distributing ideas is no basis for a system of artistic motivation

Two animals who appreciate the Warm Lamp

i appreciate the amount of people reblogging this despite me not really tagging this at all. im glad many of people feel the same anger i do.

I mean, the rules are the rules. 🤷‍♀️

debbie lookin out for us

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

this is what they have to use to get me out her princess hole

h.,,,. HMPH. !!

This isn’t fucking funny. My father was torn to pieces in the noob wars by a silver rank landmine

how does your dad being reduced to freelo protect our guild

MY FATHER BLED FOR THIS GUILD WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN THE TUTORIAL. YOU SMURF ON HIS VERY BONES.

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk

other instruments are like we are fully assembled dont worry!! just put the mouthpiece on!! and then clarinets are sitting there at the start of every single rehearsal with a gundam kit like dont worry guys i'll be ready to play in about 2 business days

batmans secret special attack is offering all of his enemys henchmen a living wage and guaranteed healthcare