Perpetually Untitled

@sagewiththyme You know that's a fascinating point because I figure the two options are a) no one really remembers what happened at the end because of magic bullshit or b) they play it off as a really elaborate but fully planned performance.

And the second one - can you fucking imagine.

Imagine one of the most popular bands in the world have this ongoing lore bit that they're actually demon hunters and they're always referencing it in their songs. And then one day a new boy band pops up and gets wildly popular with an over-the-top-cutesy hit. They're so soft and sweet and respectful. They're called Saja (Lion) Boys and they're all like "join the pride!" How cute!

And then they announce a new concert and you get there and it's fucking this. They're all dressed as demons/grim reapers. Surprise, "Saja" meant Jeoseung Saja all along! They're singing about how they're here for your soul and they relish in your pain, just a stunning 180 from their previous personas.

And then while you're trying to process the emotional whiplash the fucking demon hunter band bursts in and beats the shit out of them with the most insane pyrotechnic show you've ever seen in your life. They "kill" the boy band demons and then you never see them again. The whole band was a fucking psyop for Huntrix to play up the "demon hunters" bit.

Except, uhhhh. We didn't expect them to get so popular so fast? They For Sure weren't supposed to make it to the final round of the Idol Awards. Like, for Legal Reasons. We were almost visibly panicking on stage when they announced that! I mean, do you know how it would look once it eventually came out that Saja Boys were working for us? "Oh, you planted a fake band so you could win the competition!" No joke. I mean, that is a pret-ty clear conflict of interest there. You know?

The Idol Awards are all about the fan's choices, and we just accidentally rigged the game.

The Saja Boys had to win the Idol Awards, now, but there was no chance. They only had two songs, Soda Pop and Your Idol. We couldn't have them push up the debut--I mean, we thought about it, Your Idol's a banger song and it totally would've given us a run for our money--but we'd have to follow it up with This Is What It Sounds Like, first off, and second, 'killing' the Saja Boys onstage would be like. The Media equivalent of announcing we won, like the Fans didn't have a choice in the matter. At the Idol Awards? Ha. Yeah. That's a no-go.

And I mean. Soda Pop is catchy but not that catchy guys, c'mon. We were totally gonna cream them with Golden.

So we were all scrambling. Rumi and Mira and I were trying to write and choreograph a brand new song, Takedown, something good but not Good Enough To Win, to maybe prolong the Rivalry, you know? To make our comeback all the more sweet. But it was all such short notice, and the song wasn't working, and Huntrix never gives a shoddy performance, on principle. We couldn't do it. But it was looking like the only way we were gonna legitimately lose was if something... happened during the competition.

Like, obviously the Saja Boys weren’t a “real” band, so it makes sense they’re not coming out with new music, and since they’re “dead”, of course all their official band accounts have gone quiet, but like… someone would have had to be portraying the band members, right? Even if you wave that off as them being some of the same actors who portray the “demons” at their concerts, someone would definitely have to be lending their voices for the songs. Who were they? They couldn’t have been well-established in the industry, otherwise they’d have been recognized too quickly and the ruse would have been up, and something like this would have been a huge break for new performers.

So why’d they just disappear?

Where are the actors?

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

For anyone who can't open Instagram: It's a physical therapist explaining that if you have hypermobility or are very flexible in your hips and often find yourself having to move a lot and experiencing leg pain, it might be because your muscles are tired from having to stabilize your hips all day. He suggests tying your legs together at the knee, ideally with something between your knees, to give your body a break.

I miss Supernatural

I should rewatch Supernatural

Supernatural was such a good show

Love them with all my heart

In pulling together the Kickstarter funding for the pilot episode of my paranormal rock musical audio drama Everyone Leaves Alive (out now!), one of my backers generously gave at a level where I agreed to write an original song for him. When asked what to write about, he said either municipal zoning or car dependency.

LYRICS

Well take a good damn look At the ride you’ve got A truck the size of Texas in the CostCo parking lot A hood high as a flag pole and there’s just one catch: your monumental Chevy has a blind spot to match

All the cyclists are shaking a disaster in the making There’s a reason they think you’re a pig: You don’t need a truck that big

And just from making car hoods of a kickass larger size In eight years, three thousand more pedestrians have died And people shrug and say that it’s the land of the free (Free to get pulped by an SUV)

Is it worth it, the lost lives? Worth it, the gas price? Worth it, just to own those libs? You don’t need a truck that big

It’s not as if you’re moving loads of two by fours Your flatbed is as empty as those words of yours Yeah you live in the suburbs you ain’t hauling hay but we pay the blood tax for your cosplay

All he punchlines are waiting 'bout overcompensating are you prepared for that type of dig? You don’t need a truck that big

Well, it’s a driver’s world, carved into this land Public transit swept away by Big Oil’s mighty hand They say “jaywalking” if I just cross the street The only question left is how much dirt I’m gonna eat