This post keeps making me cry laughingg
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@sharpestscalpel
This post keeps making me cry laughingg

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So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon
#This is the representation I’ve been looking for
Sorry but it's not complete without...
@derinthescarletpescatarian have you seen this yet
my dead wife. the ad free internet
I love the idea of Spock being super queer, highly expressive and very emotional from a Vulcan view point. Like...
What humans see:
What Vulcans see:
i love how this implies that gritty is how vulcans see jim
jim in every ep
LIKE YOU WOULDNT FUCK GRITTY. LIKE WE WOULDNT ALL FUCK GRITTY. THIS IS CORRECT HUSH.

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this website lets you listen to the sounds of all different forests around the world
Reblogging again cause I tried this site last night and if you need background noise to focus this is perfect for that, I was locked the fuck in on a task. And it’s also just gorgeous to listen to
“you support gay rights so you must be gay”
i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you
turns out i am gay
holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type
Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!
he was a llama
a llama?! he’s supposed to be dead!
"Protect Trans Kids"
Sticker spotted in Flagstaff, Arizona

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i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.
well damn . egg on my face
THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself
I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.
I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.
I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.
29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)
but I did the in person practical shit at school.
the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.
so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.
Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.
"If all this little voice of mine gets to do is tell Oblivion to fuck right off, then that's enough for me."
--Chuck Tingle, Lucky Day
idk anything about this but I love it
My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.
Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??
Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??
Legolas please gain a sense of urgency
It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.
gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"
"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."
"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."
What do you think you're trying to understand about your story?
Dimension 20: Neverafter — Episode 9, “Origins”
#the allegory to Black boyhood Lou brought to this character is simply unmatched by any other adaptation of pinocchio. it's That Good.

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does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it
I gotchu
YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!
You literally cannot find this type of community interaction on twitter or instagram or any other app. Look at the support, the gratitude, the absolutely incomprehensible shared knowledge of this most cursed, most rare gif.
Truly this is beauty.
"Sewing is a gateway drug to thinking through complex problems. It seems really simple; culturally, we make it women's work. Let me tell you: real sewing at any kind of level of proficiency is a bloody magic trick. Sewing, like mold making, involves mental frames that require one to think inside out and backwards. It requires one to work on an order of operations that is often taking into account the reverse. It's a really, really important skill, and if you learn how to sew, you're mostly on your way to carpentry and welding and sheet metal work. I'm not kidding: these are planar forms meeting under rules and conditions. And if you can make a sleeve work, I swear to God, you could build a house."
--Adam Savage
Also, don't be afraid to "Be bad at sewing" check like ONE video on the basics for a good seam, go into any clothing store, check THEIR seam quality and quickly realize that you can do way better even as a complete noob. Sewing isn't wizardry, it's logic and patience and fun and practicality for all levels.
For people who are scared about "being bad at sewing" here are a couple concrete ways you can be "bad" at it (and what the consequences of that is). I still sometimes make these mistakes and i've been sewing since i was seven. ***Forgetting to add seam allowance. *** For some projects this is not a big deal and it'll just turn out a bit smaller than you intended. For other things, you will be crying and kicking yourself about expensive wasted fabric. Beginner Advice: Just don't start out making things that use expensive fabric. Make some cheap shit first to practice, like a muslin pillowcase. Beginner Reassurance: Even if you fuck this up, and you cry and kick yourself a bit, it might not the end of the world. You can always add an extra panel of fabric to make up the difference -- the real trick is figuring out how to do that in a way that looks like Intentional Design so no one else ever notices you were covering up a mistake. (This is something that even really experienced sewists do all the time -- you might have a piece of fabric in your stash that you bought years ago without a project in mind, and now you've figured out what you want to use it for, you discover that you don't have QUITE enough. So you adapt. Easy.)
***Not sewing in a smooth, intentional line*** For some projects this is not a big deal. For projects where it is a big deal, with most fabrics you can always remove the stitches with a seam ripper and try again as many times as it takes until you're happy. (The fabrics that don't tolerate this are ones with a coating, like pleather or leather, where if you poke a hole then it stays forever. Some really delicate fabrics like satins and fine silks (and sometimes knit fabrics as well) also don't like to be sewn multiple times, but you can usually rub the surface gently or dip it in water and flatten it to dry to get the holes to ALMOST close up. Beginner Reassurance: Woven cotton loves you and forgives you and wants you to succeed. Cotton is friend. Friend cotton. Smooch it. Beginner advice: Trust me, you don't want to sew on that tricky shit anyway. Satin is for masochists who don't take their own advice. Love yourself, stick to woven cottons until you feel confident. Also! Pins will help you sew in a straight line because they'll hold the fabric neatly together. Also, you can use a washable fabric marker to draw the seam lines on with a ruler. If you're VERY VERY VERY new to sewing, I would suggest getting a piece of trash fabric (if you can find a ratty old bedsheet at a thrift store, that's a GREAT thing to practice on), cutting a piece about a foot square, drawing a loooong wobbly meandering line on it with marker or pencil, lots of curves and sharp corners. Then sew along that line with your machine, aiming to get the needle perfectly through the line. This will help you practice manipulating the fabric around curves and corners. Further Advice: Keep your hands flat on top of your fabric on the "table" part of the sewing machine, rather than picking up your fabric with your fingers and moving it around. Just shift it gently with your palms. ***Fabric shifted while sewing and left a gap where the needle didn't go through both layers of fabric*** Hey! What did I tell you about using satin! Put it down and walk away! It is too treacherous for you, traveller! Friend cotton generally doesn't do this to you. Beginner advice: Use pins or fabric clips and this won't happen Beginner reassurance: You can always seam-rip the fucked up bit and try again. <3
***Thread keeps fucking up and getting tangled and snarled on the back of the piece (machine-sewing edition)*** Don't panic, this is not a you problem. You haven't done anything wrong. This happens because every sewing machine has the devil in it. Super normal and happens to everyone. Beginner advice: Remove the thread from your machine and re-thread it, both the top thread and the bobbin. Test it on a bit of scrap fabric to see if that fixed it. If it didn't fix it, try re-threading again and pay close attention to make sure you're doing it right (don't put the bobbin into the bobbin holder backwards, for example). Test again. If that didn't fix it, twiddle the tension knob a bit. If that didn't fix it, open up the part of the machine where the bobbin goes and try blowing the dust and lint out. If THAT still didn't fix it, turn the machine off and go have a cup of tea or a nap. If that STIIIIIIIIILL didn't fix it, replace your needle, it is old and blunt. Beginner Reassurance: I'm holding your hands while I tell you that this is the exact process of troubleshooting you will be using for the rest of your sewing hobby no matter how good you get. Professionals also do this. ***Thread keeps fucking up and getting tangled and snarled (handsewing)*** Also not a you problem. The thread just has too much twist in it. Beginner advice: Just hold up your project and drop your needle so it hangs free on the thread. Run your fingers down the length of it to loosen the twist, the same thing you'd do with the cord of your hair dryer or the vacuum cleaner when it gets twisty. Some people use a little beeswax to coat the thread to help it behave. I've never used that, because just letting it hang and untwist in the air works fine for me. Beginner reassurance: This is normal, just one of those things. You're not bad at sewing.
***Sewed things together with wrong-sides together instead of right-sides together*** Happens to the best of us, especially if you are sewing while tired and bleary. Just undo the seam with a seam ripper and try again. Beginner advice: If you immediately make exactly the same mistake a second time, this is not your fault. This is just a sign from the gods that it's time for a break (all sewists know about this sign, it's a very normal omen). Go to bed, or go eat something. Further advice: If you're making this mistake while well-rested and well fed, maybe your pattern or your fabric is just weird. Try sewing it with a very wide basting stitch, check your work, then sew again with a proper seam. It will at least save you time on ripping it out if it didn't work right again. Beginner reassurance: You're working with friend cotton, right? Then you're fine, you have basically as many chances as you want. :)
***Seam looks bad when I'm looking at the piece inside-out*** Does it look okay from the outside when you turn it right-side-out? Then you have succeeded. Beginner advice: You don't even have to fix this unless you want to. If it's a functional seam, who cares what it looks like inside out? (If you really care, your next step will be to watch some youtube videos about SEAM FINISHING, which is one additional step to make the seams look nice and tidy even inside-out.) ALSO, ironing helps. Iron your seams flat with the right sides of the piece still together just the same way you sewed it, and then fold the two sides apart and iron the seam open, gently pulling the fabric apart as you go so it gets REALLY nice and flat. On curves this is going to take some practice. Just don't do things with curves for your first couple of projects. Make a pillowcase.) Beginner reassurance: It's ok to have an ugly seam, especially as a beginner. No one's going to check the inside unless they're a sewing nerd, whereupon you should bashfully tell them, "This is the first thing I ever made," and they will explode in adoration and praise. Sewing people are like this because we are all a little bit crazy. Every sewist i've ever met remembers VIVIDLY the mistakes they've made while they were learning and the radical self-forgiveness it took to continue learning. A very good sewist is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, because they have made Ten Thousand Mistakes, processed their upset, and kept persevering. They WILL praise your ugliest nastiest most fucked up cotton pillowcase, and they will tell you that you should be really proud of yourself. They will tell you some of the mistakes they've made. They will probably say, "No this is so good, this is way better than the first thing I made when I started!"
***I made a thing but it doesn't fit right.*** Too big? pinch it closed and sew another line. Too small? Rip the seam and add a panel. Beginner advice: Measure twice, cut once. Further advice: Oh, and before you do any cutting or sewing, be sure to pre-wash your fabric on HOT (if you're using cotton; you're using cotton, right? Other fabrics might need something else) so that it can do all the shrinking it's going to do. Beginner reassurance: There's ways to fix every problem, you're not bad at sewing because it doesn't fit right. If you only knew the number of times I made a thing and it didn't fit right.... Ho hum, try again! There are of course other ways to fuck up, but you have to be AMBITIOUS to hit those, and really those are more like... subcategories or more specific flavors of these general ones?
Anyway yeah. Go play with some cotton, fuck around, make a pillowcase. Pay attention to what you're doing and check your work vigilantly at every step. You will be fine. <3
I have been sewing for literally 42 years and not that long ago I pinned and pressed and sewed 12 pleats on the front of a gorgeous wool fabric backwards—not once, not twice, but three times. This is why I don’t sew while on zoom calls anymore.
Mistakes are part of the process! No one can tell I screwed those pleats up so many times—including me!
There is always more to learn with sewing and it is such a fun adventure.
Also, this is not particularly beginner advice but I still think everyone should know it:
PIN VELVET AT ALTERNATING ANGLES USING SILK PINS.
Because velvet has a texture, it tends to be extremely creepy crawly when you are sewing it right sides together. But if you put your pins in like this
/
—
\
—
/
—
\
it really helps control the creep and keep your pieces aligned. Sewing straight seams in velvet is one of the only times I use pins and I use a LOT of them set fairly close together. And if you use pins intended for use with silk, they are a lot less likely to mar the fabric.