first they came for me and i was all like "hang on, aren't you guys supposed to come for other people first" but they pointed out that they had to come for someone first and we can't all be the guy from the poem and i couldn't really argue with that logic tbh

not to be dramatic but i need a nap, a hug, 20k in cash, and to disappear for 3 months

pushing back against oldest child stereotypes by making unwise choices and not being dependable

i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?

i think they're called catholics

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

I don’t have ‘headcanons’ I just Know and Understand

I hate it when people ask me what genre of music i listen to because i genuinely have no clue. It's called Music I Like genre. The best genre out there

imagine you make microwave popcorn and by wild chance every single kernel has the same exact popping point and after like a minute in the microwave the bag instantly fills up with a single earsplitting gunshot noise would that be fucked up or what

more singers should add gut wrenching screams in their songs. for me. on my behalf.

*dipping a dart into an unlabelled flask and loading it into my crossbow* you better not try anything stupid because i don't even remember what this one does