Art in top bar by @murder-me-with-ink. Icon by @cricketsintheaudience. They/them, late 30s, queer, midwest. Personal blog of Roki. Former roleplay blog (now writing off-site).
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they're not "dating" they're not "a couple" they're intrinsically connected and intertwined with each other for eternity. they're bound together like the stars. get with the program
i`m going to loose my mind i just burnt my toast and i am so tired that for some reason i completely forgot where i was. and with the instinct ingrained from years of living on a sailing boat as a child i just went to feed the fish.
only that i am not on a sailing boat. there are no fish to feed. i just fucking threw bread out of the window of a third story apartment in the middle of the city very much on land. what the fuck
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I'm so tried of those people lying and manipulating everyone.
No one ever said "they were tired of seeing it (mensahbot ship)" in 2023. No one.
"...like the recent request, they began as requests to hide the ship from more general channels"
Also untrue. There were other big ships that had their own channels. Is Mod Dearest implying that from the start they wanted to remove artmb and mbg from general channels? And the request began because 1) in 2023 there was a no-mb/human shipping role, which meant that if you choose it, you would not be able SFW mb/human channels BUT you would still be able to see mb/human ships in general nsfw channel. Why even give people option to filter mb/human ships, if you're not going to build your server around it? That role was quietly removed after the initial drama/discussion. More details here:
Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your
2) the ship was very popular among mods (all 4 mods at the time shipped it + a couple of members. If that seems like not much, is because ships like mbg and artmb also had a couple of people interested in them at the time. Fandom was much smaller, especially shippy fandom.
Below I'm attaching the proof of how it all went down.
Please be warned that there might be snippets of adult conversation interspersed thorough.
Quick proof that no-humans role existed and I was upset about the fact it didn't work in nsfw channels.
Link to the exchange - if you're on that server, you can see how it all went down: https://discord.com/channels/1021085715532099677/1028405715955621970/1076831243418742824
Mesahbot request drama:
Links - I don't have access to them anymore, but I saved them at the time.
Note: I used to be on good terms with Ver, we noodled together. I didn't understand why they were suddenly so nasty to me and I still don't understand it. Notice how mods try to silence the new channel discussion but stay silent when Ver harasses me. I'm pretty sure Ver was mod's friend, so there were clear double standards.
Pay attention to NP who at this point knew some of us didn't want to see the mb/human ships and basically posted the nsfw posts while there was a very high possibility that we were still looking at the channel.
terraforming-station channel:
I moved the topic to terraforming-station as requested by Robin. That upset some people. Burtie and Emi were other two people who were very unkind to me and mods didn't care about their aggressive tone at all. Halfway through I was timeouted by mods. Ver was allowed to rant until one of the mods broke down, lashed out and subsequently left the server (they deleted the breakdown while I was asleep so I never got to see what they wrote). When Ver talks about "patterns" and that something is not a server culture issue but something else - they mean me. They quite brazenly try to guilt trip mods into removing me from the server.
That's how much I had saved - I hope it will be a source for more context for those of you who joined after 2023.
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has anyone else noticed that pretty much everyone who is worth knowing seems to be doing really bad all of the time and is never allowed a moment's respite from all the pointless cruelties and horrors âť“âť“âť“âť“âť“âť“âť“
"I cannot reply to the thread as my commentary does not align with its current purpose and I feel that other voices should be more prominent in that regard but I feel that the argument that mb-mensah did not have its own channel for so long because of a bad faith ask for one is just a little ridiculous considering Mensah's prominence.
Here's the initial request being made: https://discord.com/channels/1021085715532099677/1025097425871966258/1101416312380588042
It should not be a minefield to ask for a channel. Even if this request was "in bad faith" it should have been duly considered and voted on by the community. I see no reason channel requests should not operate that way. An easy 'yes/no' vote.
If someone is requesting the channel because they don't wish to see the ship, why not provide the tools to avoid it where reasonable? As I understand it, at that time there was only the one general MB NSFW channel and two SFW MB channels (MBART and MBGurathin). If someone's request from two years prior is influencing your decision making when newer persons make requests, please, examine where that bias comes from.
Stemming from that, you are treating triggers as squicks. I am normally able to simply mute a channel for several hours when my trigger comes up, but my trauma is over 18 years old and I have had a lot of therapy to work through that. And still, on a bad day, it can mess me up for hours or even days. I do not mention this often because I don't want to yuck someone's yum, but sometimes someone's yum can in fact ruin my day.
No one owes you an explanation of their triggers, even if it's a character or pairing. No one has the right to tell you your triggers are not valid. But not providing the tools to reasonably avoid seeing such things when there was a precedent for other pairings to have their own channels just seems cruel and uninformed about what a trigger actually is.
I am deeply uncomfortable with the actions that have been taken in the past and more recently regarding mod bias and punishing victims. I will be stepping away from this server and respectfully ask that anyone who wishes to contact me do so via a shared server or DM. I also ask that you please lock any threads about my fiction or artwork and anyone who wishes to discuss any future works please do so in a space I can participate in. Please also contact me if you would like permission to use concepts I am happy to share, such as millipede drones or how PSUMNT operates in my Carrier Signal series.
I have had a lot of fun here, but this is no longer fun for me. Take care."
Evidently, according to a friend still in the server, my message was immediately deleted including my request.
I will reiterate my request:
1. Please lock my threads
2. Please discuss my works where I can participate
3. If you would like to use concepts I have originated please contact me and I would be happy to share.
Discord Red Flags: Signs Your Community Isn’t Healthy
[Summary of this post]
This is a guide to common warning signs in Discord communities, including (1) toxic positivity, (2) gaslighting, (3) tone policing, (4) derailment, (5) groupthink, and (6) lack of transparency. It explains how these behaviours show up in online spaces, why they are harmful, and how to recognise when a server’s culture is becoming unhealthy. It may also help moderators and community leaders reflect on whether their server shows any of these patterns and consider healthier approaches.
Discord is a wonderful tool for bringing people together. Large servers can become lively communities where people from all over the world casually drop in – someone shares a picture of their lunch while someone else says goodnight. These spaces can feel familiar and fun.
But even in friendly communities, server culture can slowly turn sour. Sometimes people contribute to a harmful environment without realising it, genuinely believing they are helping. Other times, the harm is subtle enough that many members stay oblivious while a few begin to feel uncomfortable.
When you get to know people on a server, it can become difficult to acknowledge that something is wrong. You might find yourself becoming a bystander, or if you’re negatively affected, you might start doubting your own perception and feeling increasingly distressed.
To avoid that spiral, it helps to recognise early warning signs of an unhealthy server environment. Below is a summary of common red flags, based on personal research and guidance from Discord’s own Safety Center, as well as other sources.
[Red Flags to Watch Out For]
1. Toxic Positivity
Toxic Positivity is defined as the pressure to maintain a positive atmosphere by suppressing or dismissing negative emotions, concerns, or criticism, even when those criticisms are valid or necessary. (MedicalNewsToday, 2021; Psychology Today, 2025; Verywell Mind, 2026a) While a positive outlook is considered to be good for mental health in general, it can become harmful by invalidating the individual's genuine emotions, resulting in experiencing guilt and shame, leading to avoidance of authentic emotion (Verywell Mind, 2026a)
[Toxic Positivity in Discord Communities]
Negative opinions about characters, storylines, or community issues are discouraged or shut down.
Difficult topics (e.g., racism, misogyny, harmful behaviour) are avoided to “maintain civility.”
Criticism is reframed as “drama,” “negativity,” or “hurting the feelings of people who are there for fun,” sometimes using cutesy or infantilising language (e.g., “yucking someone’s yum”).
Triggers are sometimes dismissed as mere “squicks,” minimising the seriousness of someone’s trauma response.
Supportive‑sounding or therapeutic language is used to shut down criticism instead of engaging with the concern.
[Why this matters]
This becomes harmful if the fandoms use "positivity" as a shield:
to protect specific characters, narratives, or server members above others
to avoid all forms of conflicts including those that are necessary (discussion) for growth or constructive change
to maintain a curated image of harmony
to silence marginalised voices
to avoid acknowledging harm
2. Gaslighting in Groups
Group gaslighting happens when a community dismisses or reframes someone’s concerns in a way that makes them doubt their own perception or emotional response. (Verywell Mind, 2026b; Healthline, 2024)
[Group Gaslighting in Discord Communities]
Concerns about racism, misogyny, or unsafe dynamics are reframed as “overreacting,” “misinterpreting,” or “being hostile.”
The group insists that “everyone else is fine,” implying the issue lies with the individual.
Moderators demand excessive “proof” while ignoring the context or lived experience behind the concern.
People who raise issues are subtly pressured to apologise, soften their words, or doubt their own interpretation.
[Why this matters]
Group gaslighting can make someone feel isolated, confused, or ashamed for noticing a problem. Over time, it can cause members to:
suppress their own discomfort
stay silent to avoid backlash
internalise blame
leave the community quietly
This is one of the most common early warning signs of an unhealthy server culture.
3. Tone Policing
Tone policing occurs when the focus shifts from the content of a concern to the way it is expressed. The person’s tone becomes the issue instead of the problem they are describing. (Business Insider, 2020; Verywell Mind, 2026c)
[Tone Policing in Discord Communities]
Moderators focusing on the speaker’s tone rather than the behaviour or pattern being raised.
Prioritising group comfort over the validity of the issue raised.
Expecting marginalised members to express concerns in a way that feels “palatable” to the majority.
People who express concerns are told to “assume good faith” in situations where harm or bias is being named. They are labelled as troublemakers, accused of bad faith.
[Why this matters]
Tone policing silences people by shifting responsibility onto them rather than addressing the issue. It discourages honest expression and reinforces existing power dynamics.
4. Derailment Tactics
Derailment refers to conversational strategies that shift attention away from community issues being raised. Instead of engaging with the concern, the discussion is redirected, minimised, or reframed so the original point is never addressed. (Derailing for Dummies, 2010)
[Derailment in Discord Communities]
Questioning the motives of the person raising a concern and suggesting they are acting in bad faith.
Asking for excessive proof in a way that stalls or invalidates lived experiences.
Redirecting the conversation to unrelated topics to avoid addressing the issue.
Focusing on small details instead of the broader concern.
Reframing the concern as a misunderstanding or overreaction.
[Why this matters]
Derailment prevents communities from resolving problems. It can silence people, shift responsibility onto the person harmed, and create an environment where raising concerns feels pointless.
5. Groupthink/Group Behaviour
Groupthink occurs when a community values agreement and harmony more than honest discussion or critical thinking. Members begin to follow the dominant viewpoint, and disagreement becomes uncomfortable or discouraged. (Janis, 1972; Psychology Today, 2026) According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (2019), online environments can intensify groupthink by increasing social pressure and making dissent feel risky.
[Groupthink in Discord Communities]
Moderators or long‑term members consistently reinforcing each other’s views on community behaviour and norms, creating the impression that their perspective is the only acceptable one.
Difficult topics being avoided to preserve a sense of unity or positivity.
A clear divide forming between an “in-group” and everyone else.
Members feeling pressure to agree with the dominant viewpoint, even when they have concerns.
[Why this matters]
Groupthink makes it difficult for communities to address problems. It can silence individuals, reinforce power imbalances, and normalize unhealthy behaviour. In fandom spaces, it often appears when criticism of characters, storylines, or community norms is treated as a threat to the group’s identity.
6. Lack of Transparency
Transparency is essential for trust in any Discord community. When moderation happens behind closed doors or rules are applied inconsistently, members are left confused, anxious, or unsure of what is actually happening.
[Lack of Transparency in Discord Communities]
Inconsistent penalties: similar behaviour receives different consequences, and the reasoning isn’t clear to the community.
Rules enforced unevenly: some members are corrected publicly while others are handled quietly or not at all.
No reliable place to raise concerns openly: channels meant for feedback may be locked, closely monitored, or discouraged, leaving members unsure where they can speak.
Posts or messages about concerns being removed: this makes it hard for others to know an issue was raised at all.
Moderators directing all issues to private channels (e.g., tickets, DMs), which prevents the community from seeing patterns or understanding outcomes.
Members feeling vulnerable in private channels (DMs or tickets), where moderation happens out of sight and they have no safe place to document or share their experience.
Members “going quiet” without explanation: timeouts, strikes, or bans are not communicated, so it appears as if people simply left on their own.
[Why this matters]
When moderation is hidden, members cannot understand what is happening or why. This creates an atmosphere of uncertainty and fear, and it allows harmful behaviour, including from moderators, to go unchallenged.
Conclusion
These signs don’t always mean a server is malicious, but they do mean you should pay attention to how the space makes you feel. Healthy servers make space for concerns, listen when something feels off, and adjust when needed. Unhealthy ones often repeat the same patterns, dismiss feedback, or protect the status quo instead of the people in the community. If you recognize several of these warning signs and attempts to speak up are met with defensiveness or silence, it may be a sign that the environment is not willing to change.
In those situations, the safest and most peaceful option is often to step away without fanfare. You do not need to justify your feelings or convince anyone on your way out. Your well‑being matters, and you deserve to be in spaces where your voice is respected.
Reference (for further reading)
Business Insider. (2020). Tone policing is a little-known microaggression that's common in the workplace: here's how to identify it https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-identify-and-help-stop-tone-policing-in-workplace-2020-8
Derailing for Dummies. (2010). Derailing for dummies: A guide to derailment tactics. https://www.derailingfordummies.com/
Discord Safety Center. (n.d.). Ban evasion and advanced harassment. https://discord.com/safety/ban-evasion-and-advanced-harassment
Discord Safety Center. (n.d.). Transparency in moderation. https://discord.com/safety/transparency-in-moderation
Federal Bureau of Investigation. (2019). Dangers of groupthink and the internet. FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin. https://leb.fbi.gov/articles/featured-articles/dangers-of-groupthink-and-the-internet
Healthline. (2024). Gaslighting: Signs, Examples, and How to Protect Yourself. https://www.healthline.com/health/gaslightingÂ
Janis, I. L. (1972). Victims of groupthink: A psychological study of foreign-policy decisions and fiascoes. Houghton Mifflin.
Medical News Today. (2021). What to know about toxic positivity? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/toxic-positivity
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Video ID: Lil Nas X sits in a white tank top. Lil Nas makes coughing and "hnnn" noises while gesturing wildly, with many nods, shrugs, and looks of "oh boy". He gestures at his hair, the world around him, and the camera. He puts his hands on his hips, then says "it's been a lot of shit." [End ID]
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