make light

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

you couldn't dryhump that out of me

Love using “historically” to refer to random inconsequential things in my life. Yeah so historically I don’t eat shellfish but

I bet Chinese is actually stupid fucking easy to learn

(person who has only seen the world through their own eyes voice) im getting a lot of "relates this back to my own experiences" vibes from anything and everything that's ever occurred or existed

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

So obviously there's turkey/greece(/syria/lebanon/etc) and I have never encountered it directly but I'm fairly sure it's similar for russia/ukraine/poland - are there any other culinary cultural continuums where a certain sort of nationalist will get incredibly prickly about defending the honor and distinct virtues of a dish that is basically indistinguishable from what they make 100 feet over the border but use a different word for? I find them kind of charming.

terrifying when you watch a movie or a show or whatever & youre like that was fun but it felt a little redundant they didnt need to hammer the point home that much & then you go online & theres thousands of people going that was so weird i did not get it what did that mean google.com ending explained please?