one direction was gonna eat that girl. they bought her for food

no no no put me back in the loop I almost did it perfect please put me back just a few more tries and I think I could really nail it please put me back

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

aftercare for posting on ao3

your fic was good you did grammar good you’re the kind of freak people like everything’s cool dude :^)

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

You don't always have to go after the low hanging fruit

but the high hanging ones are soooo hard to reach :-(

you know I think I WILL bet on myself for a change [is mysteriously losing dog shaped]

right before you have major life commitments is the perfect time to get into a new fandom

#not only is it hot out the fucking weather is trying to get knotted somehow

interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!