crown prince of fools

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

I think Ilya enjoys reinventing himself a bit after his move to Ottawa. Shedding components of his old self in favor of the new. He is now guy who loves dogs. Guy who is on friendly terms with the gay social media manager. Guy who is secretive about how he spends his private time. Guy who goes on mental health walks. Guy who goes to Scott Hunter’s gay bar. Guy who has made sacrifices for something important. Guy who has an air of quiet mystique. Guy who is so in love he thinks it must be written all over his face. Guy who is the most depressed he’s ever been despite occasional ecstatic happiness. Guy who looks forward to the Summer.

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

So hungry I could eat a specific mutual

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thinking about “no, i get that, but actually, i love him.” mind you this is like less than 24 hours after he’s even said it aloud to ilya. less than 24 hours before he puts to words what he’s felt since ilya kissed him goodbye on the stairwell. i get that, given the last decade of the two of us connecting over our shared distaste for the man standing next to me. i get that, given how reporters and magazines and podcasts all pick apart at our relationship like vultures, insisting there’s venom between us. i get that, since i’ve gone quiet whenever you’ve mentioned him in the last nine years. you must’ve taken my silence for hatred. and i get that, i do, but no. in those moments, i was wondering what it would be like for you to meet him, to shake his hand, look into his eyes and see the man i’ve held so close to my heart for years. and now i’m being honest, finally. i love him. i think maybe i always have.