inkstain-danny

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?

There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

I've realized recently that every time I'm asked for socials my response is sorta "oh i don't have twitter" "I'm not on Instagram much" "i uninstalled TikTok a few months ago" and this has led people into believing I'm just someone who doesn't do social media but in reality you can find me in here lets get it on cunts monday through shawty like a melody sunday, 9am to 12am, posting blorbo.

I was going to be like "well that certainly was not true cause you deactivated" and then I looked at the blog and. that's literally my old blog.

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!

talking to people you want to get to know as if they're already your friends is a terrible terrible piece of advice that people online love giving out. but i think what people are trying to say when they suggest this is that you should talk to people you want to get to know as if they're your peers. which is a subtle but important distinction. the former is extremely overfamiliar and often because of this ends up making you seem rude, but the latter is more about conducting your conversations with someone as if it is unremarkable and low stakes for the two of you to be speaking together. which is only* rude if the person you're talking to thinks they're above having normal conversations with randos, in which case, probably not worth your time to befriend anyway.

Is there a polite way to tell a student to take it easy on the thesaurus? 

alleviate your compulsion to lunge for the tome

I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.

your forgiven.

You’re… really sweet to do that. Thanks.

i heard about women today

ohh golly.

What'd you hear? Tell us of them, sister.

their gosh darn Wonderful

Go to a furry convention dressed as an 18th century fur trapper. Longrifle, jawtraps, chains, fur hat, big coat made of sewn-together pelts of different polyester neons...

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can make women’s clothing

Oh he's definitely eating it

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can surreptitiously eat it

how many people do you think use speech to text to write fanfiction like how many people in this world are sitting alone in their living room vividly reciting the nastiest sex scenes with perfect diction

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

not if I eat all the rocks

Good luck out there