heartbreaking: local cat has never been fed in entire life, says local cat

sources close to cat claim cat may have actually been fed between four to six hours ago. these claims are still under investigation.

We now have exclusive footage shot by our News At Nine chopper that confirms there’s literally still food in the cat’s bowl right now.

All animals go to heaven is just illogical planning. You’re telling me every crocodile that ever lived is in heaven? Heaven must be swarming crocodiles. Does that sound like heaven to you? Thousands of millions of crocodiles?

And Steve Irwin is showering them all with affection

But does every Stingray go to heaven? I mean, what if Steve Irwin just randomly came across the Stingray that killed him?

Steve would probably pat it and say ‘Sorry I spooked you mate, gosh your a beauty! You must have grown three times since I last saw you!’ 

All animals go to heaven is just illogical planning. You’re telling me every crocodile that ever lived is in heaven? Heaven must be swarming crocodiles. Does that sound like heaven to you? Thousands of millions of crocodiles?

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.

Tumblr makes fun of suburban moms a lot, but like 95% of posts here sound like they were written by a 40 year old housewife leaving a passive aggressive note on their daughters door. “Friendly reminder that dirty clothes go in the laundry basket and clean clothes go on hangers. I can’t believe this still has to be said. Anyway, love you babies, be safe out there.”

idk why fingers in the mouth is so hot but it is

try letting your chicken fingers cool off before you eat them

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

Sometimes I need to be treated like the TV that didn’t work good