my backbone, my cornerstone

they thought 1 lb stood for “one little bean”

At your military wife’s house washing my hair with your sons calming bedtime baby shampoo

Where else can i get sentences like this

I can’t believe they’re gonna die in 26 days :’(

This post broke through 17 mental blocks and gave me syphilis well done

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren't spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

...Have you eaten pine needles?

We've been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I've eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I've eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

You know, I'd love to tell you but I'm pretty unclear about what marks the difference between "spice" and "strong-tasting plant that isn't considered a spice"

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they're PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don't Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

...I'll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don't have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

We need more herb emojis. Would like to end a text with some rosemary or thyme

“Yo friend are you going to Scarborough Fair? *parsley emoji* *sage emoji* *rosemary emoji* *thyme emoji*