logical fallacies
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logical fallacies

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luna III ⨾ą¼ó ŗ
the future mirrors the past
like tossing a baby bird from the nest
layers

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Scara fanart from September šššš
YOU MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOU DONāT TAKE
you think heās terribly annoying⦠pff he totally doesnāt careā¦right?
CHARACTERS [seperate] varka, flins, wanderer, lohen
WARNINGS suggestiveness !!!! flins makes innuendos, trigger warning for second hand embarrassment in wanderers ngl, lohenās a little weird, kay? is he considered a yandere idfk im not well versed enough in that but he is pretty obsessed with reader
NOTES writing before lohens release so take his characterization with a heap of salt. also ignore typos this was written off of a blunt lmao.
fem!reader !!! she/her pronouns are used
VARKA
if you could use one word to describe grandmaster varka it would be irritating.
blowing away and splattering all the food youāre delivering with his vision accidentally while playing around with klee? irritating. getting down on his knees, kissing your hand and swearing on his knighthood heās sorry in front of everyone in mondstadtās square? even more irritating. spilling his ginormous cup of beer on your dress when you happen to both be out at the same timeādo you even need to say it? itās irritating.
you appreciate what he does as a grandmaster for the greater people of mondstadt but barbatos does he hinder your life. if anyone asked you, youād prefer to stray away from wherever he ends up.
he feels contrary to you. he thinks youāre fascinating. gorgeous, pristine, kind-hearted, intelligent, and by the archons does he love your cooking at the good hunter. heās irrevocably endeared with you. if anyone were to ask him, heād say heād like to be (honored to be) in your presence constantly. it really is a shame his motor and social skills run out the window whenever youāre around. i mean the only reason he vision-malfunctioned was because his brain dead-stopped seeing you looking all pretty. he may be the grandmaster and greatest hero of mondstadt but he is a man after all. at least thatās how he sees it.
heās aware you donāt like hate him, heās aware his initial attempt at your forgiveness made you more embarrassed and upset than you already were, but if heās one thing, itās an alcoholic perseverant. so he will try everything in his power to win you over!
carrying bags? heāll swing by and take those off your handsā¦maybe flex his muscles a little bit in front of you too but thatās totally unintentional. worried about creeps on your walk home before leaving the angelās share? diluc move, varkaāll walk you back! believe me if you barged into the KoF headquarters and asked him to do something, heād drop all his work in an instant to get it done⦠just please donāt hate him anymore.
you essentially have him on a leash, at least thatās what diluc tells you while sliding you over a drink.
you hate to admit that he is usefulā¦sometimes.
youāre coming back to mondstadt with a delivery payment when hillichurls corner you halfway back. shit. youāre mulling over what the fuck do do when a slice of air flies past you and the hillichurls dissipate at the hands of two greatswords before you can even process it.
thereās the grand master, broad shoulders, scruffy blond hair and all, standing before you and towering over your frame.
āare you alright, maāam?ā he asks, voice laced with concern. of course he still insists upon calling you maāam.
you mutter somethingās small about being fine, flustered with how his bright blue eyes and annoyingly cute dimples stare down at you.
āwell then it seems my job here is done. would you like me to walk you back to the city, maāam?ā
āi-itās fineājust thank you.ā you probably look like an idiot right now, craning your neck to look up at him and a stupid awkward grimace because youāre flustered. curse varka and his endearing smile. curse him especially for what you do nextāvarkaās fault of course. you shift all your weight to your tippie-toes and lean upwards just in time to kiss him on his cheek, right beneath his most prominent scar. you donāt think youāve ever seen him so flustered.
he tries to say something but mumbled gibberish just comes out. his skin flushes marinara sauce red, his hands tense up and twitch, his stupid smirk transforms into a nervous awestruck half smile like a bee-stung dog.
you turn and walk away, just as flustered as he, muttering a barely coherent, ābye, sir varka.ā and he just stands there like an idiot, hands still twitching and wandering randomly like he doesnāt know what to do with them (heās nervy okay). by the time his hands finally know what to do, one of them drifts up to trace over where you kissed (blessed him essentially) his cheek like heās not sure if you just did that. you did. he knows this is not very knightly language but holy shit.
no oneās sure why but the grandmaster seems to be in extra good spirits the following week.
FLINS
you swear to the archons flins was put on teyvat specifically to frustrate you.
him and his stupid flirty comments, stupidly handsome face you roll your eyes at, his āgentlemanlyā demeanor and his incredibly long eyelashes youāre honestly kinda jealous of. theyāre all exceptionally frustrating.
if you hear āmāladyā or āallow meā (typically as he redirects you from a gathering of wild hunt and insists upon protecting you) in that smooth, droning voice again youāll send his pasty ass back to snezhnaya yourself.
and the insistence upon taking your hand as he leads you back to the nearest area cleared of the wild hunt before returning to his post is absurd.
oh and then thereās the rather suggestive and frankly embarrassing comments.
arguing about how you are able to defend yourself and arenāt his damsel in distress to project his savior complex onā āsolving this dilemma will not be hard. i believe i can satisfy your nerves in many, many ways mālady.ā
disgusted by the smell of fire-water on his breath as you both end up at the flagship coincidentallyā āmy apologies, miss. i did not think i was close enough to you for you to catch a whiff of my breath,ā he laughs in a low drawl that upsets you further. āand to think i was mulling over getting closer.ā i mean what the hell does that mean ???
him jumping in and saving you from those weird abyssal eyesāāas expected, iām sure youāre a commodity to all eyes.ā
and every single time he chuckles as you fluster and snap your head away, still staring at you with those bright yellow eyes that occasionally drift lower as you look away. that stupid chuckle that makes you feel halfway to hell. and the immediate follow up of āi assure you i do not intend to mock you.ā yeah, right.
yeah, the āgentleman actā? youāre not buying it. you find the act unbearable, especially when heās constantly following you around.
patrolling? flins somehow find himself there, claiming heāll help since itās his ādowntimeā. isnāt he supposed to be working constantly?
āitās quite disheartening to see your distain for me. i presumed iād grow on you but you still drive me away.ā
āwell iād like you much better if you stopped following me around everywhere like a lost puppy.ā
āi admit i have an affinity for you, i think anybody can assume that much.ā
āwell your mocking laughter and judgmental stares donāt convey that, sir flins.ā
āi can assure you the looks are not judgemental, itās placed in admiration, mālady.ā he pauses. āand you may call me kyryll, i insist.ā
you stutter, flustered from him again. āshut up! go patrol on that side if youād like to be in my good graces.ā
āas you wish, mālady.ā
āstop calling me that!ā
youāre still under the assumption he does this purely to annoy you, maybe one day youāll realize he just wants that cookie so effing bad.
WANDERER
he does NOT care what you think about him⦠okay maybe he does⦠just a little bit tho. and he will NEVER admit it.
youāre a fellow student at the akademiya who is honestly fed up with his terribly annoying ego. he acts as if heās entitled to somethingāas if he was like an important figure in an important organization at one point⦠like??
his fuckass hat and his even worse ego drive you especially mad when youāre assigned to peer review each other and heās so pissy the whole time.
unbeknownst to you heās not that big of a dick, close to half of it is a little tsundere persona to make you think heās just playing hard to get. that way, he wonāt have to do all the cringy āasking each other outā and, what he calls āushy mushy romanticā things. ew.
so instead heās spewing things like, āhow in teyvat did you even get through the entrance exam if this is how your work looks?ā
āyou might aswell start over.ā
he knows your work is good, probably better than his, but heās trying to play hard to getādonāt you get it? unfortunately you donāt and you are sick of it.
āyou know, wanderer, maybe if you got rid of that sorry excuse for a haircut you could get women on your dick and stop taking out all your frustrations on my work.ā and then you storm out⦠babe not acquired :/ and waitāis his haircut really that bad? aunty nahida said he looked handsome⦠:(((
maybe thatās when he realizes heās being a little too harsh and that his little tsundere act to try and get you to be into him wonāt work.
he physically cannot ask anyone else for relationship advice out of embarrassment though so he will suffer in silence (heās dramatic itās really not that bad) for a while.
right up until the archons themselves bless him and give you two a group project together (along with other people but they donāt really matter to him). unfortunately, after your last interactions you want utterly nothing to do with him. his extremely blunt and non constructive criticism from before has in fact bit him in the ass.
maybe he needs to swallow his pride and ask for adviceānot maybe, he does. but archons this really sucks. so he sends an anonymous letter to yae publishing house, apparently his momās girlfriend is pretty good in this whole romance thing so maybe sheāll help.
he gets his advice⦠it just turns out this influenced yae miko to develop a new short romance gl novel based on this experience. sure, nobody knows the new best seller is based on his (non-existent) romance scene and now turned lesbian but he canāt help but be embarrassed every time he sees it sitting shelved in a stall.
he takes the advice, leaves a corny letter by your apartment door step (in which he bolted away from incase anybody saw him) and said anā¦APOLOGY. very rare from him so you better not take this for granted. he felt so goddamn embarrassed the next time he saw you on campusāso embarrassed he was actually begging the archons that someone kills him when you greeted him.
you will unfortunately have to be the one to ask him out thoughāhe just gets so nervy!! he ignored that part of the advice from the letterāand the part suggesting he grip your thigh to āassert dominanceā ??? what type of things are her and his mom into ?yuck! but he will be so corny the whole time youāre out on your first date. guy is tryna act like a nonchalant cool guy the whole time itās like actually embarrassing. but itās even more embarrassing when he gets flustered or asked something he didnāt rehearse in the mirror beforehand.
āso, wanderer, what do you like to do?ā
āi donāt like a lot of things.ā
āam i one of them?ā
āuh..umāy-yeah, sure.ā (picture this with a voice crack halfway through iām dying)
somehow he does manage to bag youāprobably only because of his face because archons does this man not know how to smooth talk.
heād like to thank himself, kinda yae miko and a first date tips book he discretely took and returned to/from the akademiya library.
LOHEN
this vice captain has it BAD for you, his subordinate, and frankly itās bad for you because of how much he follows you around like an annoying bug. as in an annoying fly that wonāt go away and continues to buzz around in your face.
make a suggestion that he really has no business listening to as your superior? youāre immediately getting hit back with a, āyes! what an amazing idea!ā running a secret mondstadt holiday gift exchange? he will purposefully pick your name and go way above the suggested mora pricing. on that note i think heād be so upset if you got another personāworse enough another man thatās TALLER </3. and yes on every single matter he will default to your opinion !
iād assume everybody else is probably terribly annoyed with his very clear favoritismā¦including you. he thinks heās being so romantic and so sweet, meanwhile youāre like āhuh?ā every time he follows you around like a golden retriever, or more accurately a weird, scruffy little stray husky that you fed crumbs once and keeps coming back to your door step.
makes it so clear he wants you around. he is so damn insistent youāre free to come to his office with any questions wheneverācode for: āplease please please come to my office oh barbatos if you love me sheāll come to my office and sheāll profess her love to meā
unfortunately for him when you actually do go to his office, itās to tell him to not be so clear with his favoritism as your colleagues and comrades have started to hate you. aw man :(((
he infact does not stop though because he #wantsthatcookie. and like cāmon can you just do that professing love thing alreadyādoes barbatos really not love him :/ heās already defeated and brought back a ruin guardās part for you, claiming it was āout of appreciation for his hardest working subordinateā, isnāt that romantic enough ? you stared at him and asked why he thought you would like that. hmm maybe he should try more conventional gifts.
eventually somebody has to sit him down and tell him that showing his very obvious obsession with you in all the ways he does will not get him the girl. okay fine whatever heāll try āasking you on a dateā eyeroll. and ānot following you around begging for your attentionā ughh. fine.
believe his surprise when you actually like it better when heās normal about you. he even heard through the grapevine you said heās looked ābetterā lately. now you blush and happily accept when he offers to take you out for drinks. was it really that simple from the start? (yes it really was)
that whole night heās just talking your ear off but itās honestly kind of⦠endearing? itās like if that stray little husky got his coat washed and groomed.
the night ends with a kiss on his cheek and oh my archons heās over the moon. guys fighting demons to not act all obsessed againākeyword act. this man would let you feed him to wolves of wolvendom and like it.
but he does use his weirdo rizz on you and it does work. not even satirically, surprise to everybody, he does end up with the girlāso fuck you to barbatos and everyone else that doubted him. you are in for a RIDE once youāre together. do not expect to be separated from him at all. and now he actually has an excuse to be completely off his rocker when another person talks to you. his nightmares probably consist of you going on an expedition with another man honestly.