SoleminiSanction

i find so much therapy talk aimed at humans has too much flowery abstract prose about mindfulness or whatever but for myself I really prefer an approach focused on hard science and what biochemical processes are responsible for me feeling this way, especially anxiety. Also why i prefer listening to lectures given by psychologists or counselors made for other fellow psychs and counselors.

But yeah I feel like there’s lessons anxious humans can take home from anxious dogs

reactiveness is usually the product of fear and unconfidence

when something becomes too overwhelming slow down, add more distance

every time you practice an avoidant behaviour it gets more ingrained and will take more effort to beak the habit once it has been well established.

try refocusing on something else when you feel yourself starting to get worked up over something

progress is slow and if you think you can fix things overnight you are setting yourself up for disappointment

don’t only correct mistakes, actively give praise as well

My comic from @very-sincerely-yours-zine !

This was a lovely little thing to hop into after finishing last Summer after The Beekeeper's Picnic.

[ survey.gendercensus.com ]

The 13th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th August 2026.

It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

Thank you so much!

I haven't sent out the mailing list email yet, but I'm about to get to that. That usually bumps things up significantly... 😰

He has finally accepted what people have been telling him for years ("Hey, dude, you kinda look like Ben Franklin. You should capitalize on that")

Gary IMMEDIATELY gets out there and takes the most Ben Franklin photo I've ever seen

I just

Behold

➡️ Take a typing test here (and you need an actual, physical keyboard for this):

➡️ 'Typing classes' refers to computer skills classes you might have had in school; you can also count games or other related typing training your parents might have had you do.

➡️ Across 3 different typing test websites*, the (english language) world average typing speed is 40 WPM.

I used to use Google docs, but the white mode only was really annoying me (tires my eyes), so I swapped to Ellipsus (which I genuinely love and recommend), but it was bothering me a bit that I need wifi in order to use it, so now I switched to LibreOffice Writer, which I do like.

It very much has a Microsoft Word feel, but is open source and you need no accounts to use it. It's local on your device, so no AI can scan it, and no wifi is needed.

(I’m not asking this for writing purposes by the way, I personally don’t write but I’ve seen a lot of ff writers do this so thought I’d ask.)

Hi, so the short answer is yes-but-also-no.

I want to preface this by saying that I LOVE seeing characters actively presented as Romani in people's works, be they original fiction or fanfics. Representation is always important, and honestly, I would rather have less-than-perfect representation than have people be too scared to try, thus removing that rep. However, I do think it is very difficult for someone to do right, especially since we're a closed culture with a lot of variation between subgroups and based on different circumstances, so accurate and complete resources are hard to come by.

I'm generally quite open (and enjoy) when people include cultural tidbits in their writing - it feels a bit like finding an Easter egg. However, I do think it's difficult to do accurately - nine times out of ten, in my experience, authors make mistakes like using stereotypes, or outdated references/practices, or mixing subgroups. As someone from this background, it can take me out of the story. I'm not sure how someone less familiar with our culture would react to mistakes like this, so I suppose it's up to individuals how important they think it is.

In terms of using the Romani language, I'm a bit less open. Firstly, I think it's very difficult to commit to a dialect, because once you do, you've committed to the cultural "baggage" of that particular subgroup, and unless you're from that group, it's unlikely you will know enough to do it flawlessly. Even my sister's fiancé, who is slowly becoming more immersed in our specific culture and is learning bits of the our specific dialect, would not be able to use it accurately, so (without sounding rude), I don't think it's likely that someone who hasn't even got that close familial connection is going to nail it with the even more limited resources available to the general public.

I also think it's very difficult to write accurately in a language you're not fluent in. Online guides are often incomplete or inaccurate, and don't often get across anything more than the most literal meanings. How people speak Romani (e.g. how much of the sentence is said in Romani, which words are said in which language, etc) also changes quite a lot depending on both the dialect and the situation, so I think it's quite easy for an actual Romani-speaker to become un-immersed in the story by what is, to us, an obvious mistake, which maybe isn't to the author. However, the same can be very much be said for when authors instead chose to just put things "in translation" using italics - '"like this," I say in Romani'. Because, honestly, I grew up speaking Romani and am far more fluent than probably 99% of my peers, and yet I would not be able to tell you what 'like this' is in Romani, because it's just not something we would say in Romani. (I say this as an Anglo-Romani speaker in the UK). However, to me personally, using italics is generally preferable than attempting to translate.

The other issue with using Romani terms is that both the non-Romani-speaking author and the non-Romani-speaking reader are going to be unfamiliar with them. So the author either has to provide a translation, and hope that it is accurate, or allow non-Romani readers to go out and find their own translations, which is risky in two different ways. Firstly, as I've said earlier, finding accurate translations is so hard. But secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it is a closed culture, and personally, I would prefer that people didn't go looking for information not freely given, and I don't think it's really a non-Romani author's place to give that kind of permission, either - especially since there is a reason we choose to keep things private. However, I will concede that there are lots of Romani terms which are still used very frequently by Romani people, which have also become widely known (words like kushti/cushty, for example), and are also a lot harder to mess up contextually, so if I saw someone using words like kushti, dordy, mush, etc, in their writing, I would probably be pleasantly surprised, if a bit amused.

Having a chalet in a yard which you live in over the winter when you pull in. That’s our legal addresses and also where we might work on our equipment etc during the winter months (for Nightwing again, the Graysons canonically spent their winters pulled in in Florida)

Using terms like pulling in, pulling out, building up, pulling down, and also our own specific words for things you might find on the fairground (funbag instead of bouncy castle; gallopers instead of carousel; slip instead of helter-skelter)

Going to dances associated with the biggest fairs where people, even if they’re not open, will travel to for the social occasion

Casual mentions of (especially young adults) attending the horse races. They’re our Met Gala.

Major family events happening on a Wednesday because that’s our day off

Kids’ clothing. There’s a real emphasis on dressing smart. I have never owned a pair of sweatpants or a t-shirt with a character on it, for example, as they’re not considered smart enough (unless you’re actively working out). Little boys wear shirts and jumpers and shorts and knee high socks with patent shoes, and girls wear smocked dresses (boys also wear smocked clothing) with socks and T-bar shoes, and matching bows in our hair.

If you’re travelling in the summer, you’re not going to be at school. You might get a work pack from your home school which you attend during the winter, or there might be a travelling teacher at the big fairs (two weeks + duration) who teaches every child on the ground, regardless of age.

It being totally normal for women to wear white to other people’s weddings (especially mothers of the bride and groom).

All the insurance. All the equipment checks. Permits from local councils. There’s so much of it and it should be mentioned more.

You’re going to be the least busy in January, and most people you know will be on a giant holiday with 90 people in a resort hotel for a month.

Bank Holidays (are they a thing in the US? I suppose Labor Day is the closest?) being our busiest days.

TRAILERS ARE EXPENSIVE AND BEAUTIFULLY DONE UP. THEY ARE EXPENSIVE AND MODERN AND VERY CLEAN. YOU LIVE IN THEM WITH YOUR FAMILY (you might get your own small trailer when you’re about 13). THEY ARE NOT GROTTY OR SHARED WITH YOUR COLLEAGUES. YOU BUY YOUR OWN.

The cat who somehow always knows exactly when you’re going to pull down.

Lighting sets (generators) go off by 10.30pm.

Because fairs are open in the afternoons/evenings, we tend to have a big “lunch” to fill you up, and then a small supper (usually something which doesn’t require a lot of attention and can cook on its own, like a stew) before bed.

Waking up in the mornings and there being condensation on the inside of the windows and it’s your turn to get out of bed, go out, and turn the gas on. You gear up in socks and boots and a coat and you leg it so fast you’d think you were being chased, turn the gas on, then come inside and shiver in your bed again until the trailer warms up.

Hygiene. Cleanliness in the home. The general aversion to mops and toilet brushes because they’re deemed not to clean well enough.

Animals live outside. In warm outbuildings. But not inside.

Kids helping their relatives when they’re not helping their own parents/doing their own work.

Having a money pocket made out of an old pair of jeans with your name embroidered in sequins was the HEIGHT on fashion as an eight year old on the fairground.

Randomly finding yourself up your aunt’s trailer eating a slice of brown bread and a cup of tea and knowing your mum’s gonna kill you when you finish but you couldn’t say no as it’d be impolite. It’s a universal experience.

The amused looks of gorjas who cannot fathom a child working.

People complaining about how much it is to have a go, but swag is a fiver for a poverty little thing, and the rent will bankrupt you, and the insurance is due next week.

The World’s Fair newspaper.

Christenings.

Owning too many tilts.

Under no circumstances do you wash your hands in the kitchen sink.

Having an accent which nobody can quite place.

The sheer number of fights between kids on the ground.

The one kid whose parents have a shooter who always threatens the others with a pellet gun.

Under no circumstances are you allowed on someone else’s ride as a kid. They’re trying to earn a living and some paying kid could be sat in that seat.

UNLESS you’re acting as a gee, carrying around the biggest prize and casually talking at the top of your voice about where you got it from.

Everyone owns an Alsatian.

Calling everyone older than you aunt/uncle. Doesn’t matter if they’re your parents’ worse enemy.

Learning to drive a lorry at 8. Being a pro by 13.

Being constantly surrounded by your extended family.

Non-gypsy people working on the fairground/circus are called chaps. They are often undocumented workers.

>looks inside

I WILL !!! I WILL DO THAT

some of my favourite indigenous artists, in no particular order:

Inuit artists:

the jerry cans (esp their album Inuusiq)

beatrice deer

twin flames

Māori artists:

jordyn with a why

Indigenous australian artists:

tilly tjala thomas (i particularly love ngai yurlku nhiina)

kardajala kirridarra (srlsly check out ngajabu (Grandmother's Song))

And one of her own:

Oh and of course there's also the HU and Bloodywood for people who like more rock and metal mixed in:

Darkaside is a Papuan metal band

Shepherds Reign is a Samoan metal band

Lenin Tamayo, Quechua pop singer.

And of course I can't not add Mari Boine (Sámi) to a post like this:

And Arvvas, who I think have moved on to other things but did mashups of Sámi traditional singing and jazz: