Probably Full Of Poisonous Bees @ellynneversweet - Tumblr Blog

chewedcorn

ok this one is my dumbest comic yet [OC]

nunyabizni

Spelled funny af wrong

goat-yells-at-everything

@onenicebugperday

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tobermoriansass

Which is also to say I don't care about historical accuracy in the way everyone goes on abt it vis a vis outfits and the trappings of language and our (whiggish, but essentially false) imagining of historical norms, bc that thinking has produced our annoying present in which signs (fashions) exist without signifiers (the socio-political structures & conditions that make those fashions possible) and I hate it and also think it is doing active harm to historical fiction as a genre.

regina-bithyniae

I would be great at being Unidentified Hellenistic Ruler. King of Some Small Slice of Asia, leading an entourage of Macedonian transplants ruling brutally over marginally hellenized subjects, with prententions vastly exceeding my military achievements.

Bro, I am like totally like Alexander's #1 successor. For real dog.

centrally-unplanned

The "me and my boys are starting a podcast" of the Hellenic Age.

regina-bithyniae

Hellenistic rulers would've made the best midwit bro podcasts. Episodes:

If We Make Our Pikes Just One Foot Longer We Can Win Every Battle By Poking Them First

Why do my native conscripts keep running away at the start of the battle every time?

[idiotic philosophical takes from a guy who skimmed aristotle maybe once]

Only three episodes because he lost interest and got really into poisonous fitness supplements

fyeahgothicromance

Just rewatchwd Widow's Bay and thinking about how everyone is trying to figure out who is Richard Warren's descendant.

Frances Warren survived and had children. Why do we think the Warren bloodline is a straight line for 300 years with one child having only one child resulting in a single living descendant?

Its multiple people. Its going to be like a quarter of the island at least. My ancestors were the original settlers of the Cayman Islands and my family tree shows how small that dating pool was on a small island in the 1700s.

#it’s true #statistically everyone is the descendant of anyone who had surviving children in their ancestral neck of the woods given enough time #‘I’m descended from Alfred the Great’ get in line so is everyone else here

yvesdot

I have seen a young lady with her table loaded with volumes loaded of fictitious trash, poring day after day and night after night over highly wrought scenes and skillfully portrayed pictures of romance, until her cheeks grew pale, her eyes became wild and reckless, and her mind wandered and was lost — the light of intelligence passed behind a cloud, and her soul was forever benighted. She was insane, incurably insane from reading novels.

-- an anonymous pastor in 1864, on the greatest threat to young women

#was he wrong tho

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rapidlydecayingcorpse

“oooh i need junji ito to write me an essay” okay so youre a little baby so youre a little baby waby who needs mommys help

rapidlydecayingcorpse

not junji ito. where did he come from. this is supposed to say chatgpt

kla1991

ellynneversweet

Hear me out: Thomas Gainsborough and Gustav Moreau give off the same vibes despite working a century part and having fairly different themes (portrait artist vs mythic illustration), and are therefore a storyboard dream team for some kind of story where the protagonist steps from mundane Georgian England into some sort of fairy realm.

ellynneversweet

When you just want to get shitfaced with the other students at Oxbridge but first you have to pass your final exams answer the Sphinx’s riddles.

taksez

It’s the same guy in both right?

ellynneversweet

Gainsborough on the left, Moreau on the right, but for the purposes of this incredibly loose plot it’s the same character before and after he falls through a wardrobe in Bodleian Library and loses his clothes, this being a ‘lost chronicles of Narnia featuring Bertie Wooster as a student’ kind of situation.

ellynneversweet

It was during my second exam week — the first round of the end of year ones — in my foray into reading magic at Cambridge, and I only wanted to get through it all without meeting the Chief Horror Hunter or at the very least having to explain to my family that I had been sent down for a semester, when I discovered the door in the Bodleian library.

Alright. Discovered is a wrong word, even if I had wanted to get away — and yes, alright, I might have misspoken when I said that I wanted to get through it rather than out of it by any means possible. I am not lying, though. The heart of a sensitive young man is not always entirely known, even to himself, and for a gentlemen such as myself, whose many flaws include perhaps include being in the greater part somewhat more devoid of valour than is, strictly speaking, entirely the pattern of a man of education and breeding, I did need to have some stern words with myself about actually turning up for exams despite the churning of my belly. But I was not trying to run away — and if I had, I would have tried harder to find somewhere that wasn’t…well, there.

*porky pig voice* THAT’S ALL, FOLKS!

This idiot needs a name before I send him off to be hunted by the sphinx/chief horror hunter/his family etc for the high crime of being a magician in training who is loose with terminology and thus always on the brink of actually bringing some new horror into the world because he wants to be clever about subverting meanings of words.

#a world in which the highest enemy of magicians is lawyers #the term ‘ordinary meaning’ has probably sparked a legit civil war #England known as being unusually prone to magical mishap because the language itself is more prone to mutating without malicious assistance #and there’s always malicious assistance waiting in the wings #our young hero isn’t a bad boy but he does make bad choices #‘make’ is a strong word. lazily finds himself leaning towards is better

lierdumoa

I just saw a post that deeply annoyed me because it went, "Here's a story that's like a Regency romance, but I FIXED it by making the characters sexually liberated and shame-free and polyamorous!"

This is like saying, "Here's a story that's like a thriller, but I FIXED it by having the serial killer go to therapy instead of trapping victims in his evil maze and dismembering them."

.

The thing a lot of people don't seem to get is that the entire appeal of a Regency romance is watching a deeply repressed, perfectly controlled, buttoned up, straight-laced person who has never expressed an emotion before fall so hard for someone that something in them just breaks and they come completely unhinged.

It's a very specific kink that this genre is tapping into.

People who think the characters in a Regency novel are boring are missing the whole point. The characters are supposed to be boring, right up until they fall so madly in love that it drives them insane, at which point they become very interesting. Regency romance novelists are doing the writing equivalent of putting plain white featureless uncooked whole eggs in a microwave and waiting for them to explode.

leche-flandom

There are many myths that shroud England, but one very few know is that no more than twenty-one (21) years shall pass without a remake of Pride and Prejudice, lest the kingdom should fall.

#has the new one come out yet and if so has someone roasted it?

theorangepdf

i have good taste except when i don’t but when i don’t it’s in a sexy way

queenofattolia

#when i have bad taste it is *esoteric* (via @no-where-new-hero)

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gingeralewizard

tbh people don't give zuko enough credit like wtf are you supposed to say when someone hits you with "my girlfriend turned into the moon" like. damn. that is in fact rough buddy

ravioliet

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

ravioliet

to everyone in the notes saying this is mean or rude or a callout, this post was autobiographical. we're in this together. take my paw

helenvaughans

zitasaurusrex

thememedaddy

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animentality

ragsy

interesting how, in the realm of fiction, there are some morally reprehensible behaviors that are "acceptable" for someone's character to have, and some that wait a minute post canceled. My cat who doesn't like cuddles just settled directly into my lap for the first time in the 10 years I've known her

This is all that matters now

ragsy

She did it again. Discourse is cancelled forever

yharon314

congrats guys! we solved discourse

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