hello?

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

(disapprovingly) this is not what André "Ice Cold" 3000 meant when he asked yall to be on your baddest behaviour

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying