friend asked me today “can you get cancelled on tumblr” and i realized that they really have never been on here

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable

EVERYBODY GET MORE GOTH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

i miss my beautiful wife joann fabrics it feels as if eons have passed since i last saw her. this guy michael keeps waving her visage in front of me and saying she’s living in his house but he is lying to me. i know this because i went into his house and found only fragments and memories of my beautiful wife joann and pictures of her shadowed face labeled “online only”. michael won’t even let me order swatches from him

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

naming a drink monster is actually scary as fuck they shouldve named it healing safety drink

they should have named it fat dripping monster cock cum drink with stinky werewolf toes dipped into iit at the factory. energy drink

I gave him another call and said listen to me. Do I really sound like Jordan. And he says yes. Yes you are absolutely Jordan. And I'm like okay. I am still not Jordan. Would Jordan pull a prank like this? I do not know Jordan. I'm sorry man. You should call max

“what are you doing tonight” Girl im reading posts..

people arent even trying to learn how to pirate anymore its always "where can i watch this what service is it on" never "tokyo mew mew full episodes free online no virus"

i think that other people have access to an Energy source that i don’t but that’s okay i’m happy for them i do wish that was me though