
Janaina Medeiros

★

ellievsbear

Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Jules of Nature
Sweet Seals For You, Always
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
almost home
styofa doing anything
🪼

pixel skylines

Product Placement

if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty
Stranger Things
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@smiley-maile

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if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.
#one day an igor forgets the lock the cage and a pack of penises escapes into ankh-morpork#the watch spends the next three weeks rounding them up
how DARE you leave this in the tags (affectionate)
Everyone knew it was best not to look too closely at Igor's jars.
Vimes was beginning to wish he had looked more closely at the most recent additions before Igor came lurching up the stairs to inform him:
"They have ethcaped, thir."
"Escaped. What has escaped, Igor."
"Thome of my.. appendageth, thir."
"Appendages."
"Yeth, thir. Of the... intimate variety."
"Of the intimate..." Vimes trailed off as the dawning horror overwhelmed his vocal cords.
He rallied. "Igor. HOW have they escaped? They are not known for their... perambulatory abilities."
"Really, thir? I've alwayth found them to have a mind of their own at timeth."
Vimes was staying calm. Yes. That was it. He was staying very calm. Definitely NOT thinking AT ALL about how Vetinari and... Good lord, The Times, would react to marauding pack of penises. Would it be a pack? Or would they go off on their own?
"I wath exthperimenting with cuthtom grown oneth, you know. For thothe who cannot grow their own."
"Err... what? Of course you were. I mean. Very good."
Pictured: An Igor harvesting appendages
#[a loud crash is heard from the lab] #[another igor runs past with a giant butterfly net. stopping briefly at the door to shriek 'THE VULVATHS''] (via @the-wave-finally-broke)
It turns out to be a brilliant feat of advertisement, as the people too shy or uncertain to go visit Igor rightaway effectively get a chance to discretely window-shop in public.
An unfortunate side effect being that a small girl, denied of her rightful need to be a Horse Girl by the limitations of being a native Ankh-Morpork child[1], would have adopted one of the larger Appendages of the pack and named it Free Willy. Her insistence that she could understand her pet through a bond of mutual sympathy was both touching and troubling, as was her announcement that Free Willy did not want to be attached to a governing body and forced into service, saddled with clothing, or made to perform tricks for audiences. With no Igor having the heart [2] to take it from her, the child was allowed to keep Free Willy, who lived for five healthy years in her family’s pigeon loft and eventually passed away from natural causes after a battle with another fighting cock. The child went on to write a well-acclaimed children’s book, The Willy that Would Be Free, which was, necessarily, a pop-up book.
[1] where an ordinary working class child CAN form a magical bond with a horse, in the form of a pie, labeled as beef.
[2] ha
Look, it got longer.
So did Free Willy.
i watch baseball for the side quests
throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout
this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl
baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.
and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:
or the beloved hot foot prank:
or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:
or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:
i take back everything bad i've ever said about baseball these boys can fucking Post
Sometimes you have to entertain yourself out in the field too, like the time Victor Robles made friends with a praying mantis.
and some college baseball shenanigans
More college baseball shenanigans with this Virginia player who goes on a tangent about Dippin' Dots in the greatest post-game interview ever conducted.
really hilarious and unsexy when hetero romantasy authors refer to love interests as males and females. you sound like david attenborough narrating a special documentary on two turtles humping in the mud
i don't care if he's the king of the fae. if that man called me a desirable female i'd have him gelded
happy april fools. please take this egg
hahahahahha………………..
youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st
I just queued this for a year

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Discworld book where the auditors hear about the phrase "it's not over till the fat lady sings" and hire someone to kidnap all the fat ladies in the world to find the One who will end the world when she sings.
Lady Sybil Vimes is one of the ladies, so Sam Vimes is on the warpath until he can find her, while the watch desperately try to keep all infrastructure from falling apart without all the fat ladies who keep it together on a daily basis
It ends when Sybil leads a hoard of fat ladies into battle, which ends up being so glorious an unrelated time traveler who witnesses it goes back to his native time starts the myth of the Valkyries
Sorry @mypunkpansexualtwin but you ain't leaving this one in the tags boss
Thinking about that “white people like the blues just fine, they just don’t like the people who make it” quote from Sinners since it was robbed of the Best Film Oscar.
Robbed of Best Film, won Best Score, hoo boy they weren't kidding
Wouldn’t leave my mind sorry
"Was this book good or was I deeply 19 when I read it:" an investigative journalism series
“Was this book bad or was I simply lacking enough life experience to appreciate the narrative when I read it” : an award-winning followup
HELP!!!!!

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I feel seen
An Oven is a kind of European above-ground umu typically constructed from metal and ceramic. Originating in the 18th century, ovens are primarily used for preparing several kinds of Western-style hāngī, such as Sunday roasts, casseroles, and pies, which are cooked in various types of specialised poti. Ovens are usually constructed off-site in dedicated facilities before being installed in the whareumu, or kitchen, of a European whare. They are typically not able to be moved once installed, quite unlike umu which may be constructed anywhere and are readily deconstructed and moved as needed. Another limitation of ovens is that due to their small internal volume relative to their overall size, they are generally restricted in the amount of kai they can produce. An oven will produce only enough kai to feed a few people, whereas a hāngī cooked in an umu can feed an entire village.
Thank you for sharing this piece of quaint European culture (or is it Europeanne? so bad at spelling haha 😄) It's so interesting how the European word for umu, oven, is seemingly not contained in the European for whareumu (kitchen). It sounds like a product of evolution of the ancient language, coupled with the instability of warring tribes. Fascinating!
ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk
the guy also like thinks everyone knows bc he never tries to hide the fact that the hawk is a person but everyone assumes hes always just joking. like the others being like "damn its crazy how he knows exactly what you want him to do its like he knows english or something." and the guy is just like "well yeah thats his first language so ofc he's fluent??" and they all go "haha good one" and move on, leaving him confused
they just think hes a quirky guy that really loves his pet and says things like "the 9 of us" even tho there are clearly only 8 people! he just cares about the bird so much he counts it as a group member haha !
Ok but the first time I played a ttrpg, my character was basically this except had no human buddy.
We started out in the sewers beneath the city we were escaping from and I was playing a Kitsune Druid who joined up with the party in my fox form. The rest of the party continually rolled terrible perception/investigation checks against me, even after "a random girl" appeared and helped them out with a couple fights, only for her to disappear and the fox return after each fight. For worldbuilding/character reasons, it made more sense for me to stay cautious around them and not reveal myself until I was forced to, so I just keep doing it.
We were a table of ttrpg newbies, so the DM used the situation to get everyone to understand roleplaying and metagaming better. The rest of the table kept complaining that the situation was ridiculous and of course they would have figured out the girl and the fox were the same person. But the poor DM had to be like "you as the player have figured that out but your character in the game hasn't for reasons x, y, and z." My chaos goblin side was utterly delighted with their frustration!
hate when mummy movies use Imhotep as the big bad. He was an architect. Imagine a mummy movie but the mummy is Frank Llyod Wright. And he was buried at the House On The Rock. Ok nevermind that would be a sick ass movie.
spiritual successor to my email post
ok this too

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When I criticize jk Rowling do not assume I always hated Harry Potter. I knitted hogwarts house scarves. I got my first binder to dress as Draco Malfoy for Halloween. I reread the books multiple times. I read probably every pottermore article there was at the time.
I’m not here to validate your smug feelings about not liking a children’s book series 20 years ago. I’m here to discourage others from spending money on it and to give myself and others words and space to work through some feelings. I’m a trans person that made Harry Potter one of my cornerstone interests. One of my favorite things. I’m not some cis person doing cope.
Harry Potter was a big thing. Like. Big in a way that’s difficult to fully understand. It still is. If you were caught up in it during your formative years it’s normal to need to process all of the horrid things now associated with it.
Having to burn down the house you grew up in is going to be hard even if it turns out that the house was always rotten from the inside out. Even if it turns out that the foundation was made of straw. But the destruction and deconstruction must happen if one hopes to move on and move forward. That’s why I talk about it at all.
I'm also trans and this is a really good talking point.
Most of us grew up in the Harry Potter explosion. Most of us loved the series, especially since we felt like misfits.
Hell, I was chosen by Olivander at Universal to get a special wand when I was 12. To this day I love that memory.
But finding out who Rowling really is was devastating. It was like having a safe space suddenly get filled with spikes. We were essentially chased out of a community that held us for so many years. It felt like a horrible betrayal and it still does.
When trans people ask you to not support HP anymore, it's not because we see ourselves as superior. We were some of the biggest fans growing up and we ask this from a place of raw pain.
We just want you to have our backs after such a harsh betrayal. I don't know why this gets interpreted as trans people being snobs.
we are so back