You're actually not real happy with your wife's plan, but you also don't want to come across as uncaring or petty or possessively jealous --and you know that he thinks your wife is quite attractive and that she thinks the same about him -- so you agree with your wife that this is the right and best thing to do.
And as you go to give him a call, your wife calls out to you "When you tell him the plan -- which I'm sure he'll agree to -- you should make it clear that the "a couple of weeks" timeline is not set in stone, and that if he still needs more time with me after that, then of course, you will stay at his place for longer so that he can stay here with me for, basically, as long has he wants and needs. We should just let him decide when he's ready to move back to his place -- no matter how long that turns out to be. And given how painful it seems to have been for him for his wife to suddenly walk out on him like that, I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being months rather than weeks that he'll feel he needs to stay with me -- so you should tell him to pack as if he will be here for a very extended time.
And of course, you should pack for that possibility too -- and you will need to clear dresser and closet space for him to use while he's here. That way, he won't feel as much like a guest. Hopefully I can make him feel almost as if the house, and especially the bedroom, are really his for as long as he's here. And I'll try to help him feel as if my body is his also, because I'm sure that will help him feel a lot better about himself and about women even after the pain of his wife walking out on him."
A couple of hours later, he -- with your assistance -- had moved in with your wife, while you had taken up residence at his house a few blocks away. Even though it was so close, your wife had told you not to drop by and not to call or contact them in any way. She felt it would be awkward for you to come around while he was there with her, and she wanted him to feel as much "at home" with her as possible.
Of course, you thought about the two of them constantly, and the thought of him sharing her bed (that had been your bed with her) left you in anguish, but you knew there was nothing you could do about it. After all -- she was just being a good friend, helping him to get over a painful breakup. And you tried not to think about them having sex in her bed -- because you knew that it was just your wife trying to help him feel better after the pain of his wife walking out on him.
Your only way of knowing how things were going -- and whether it was likely you'd be able to move back after a couple of weeks -- involved postings you started to see on social media. Your wife simply announced on facebook that he would be with her for at least a couple of weeks, so anything she did socially during that time would be with him as her partner instead of you. A few days later, she posted some pictures from a dinner that she and he went to with three other couples that you and your wife often socialized with. And in the comments on that posting, a couple of the other women said how much fun it was having him as part of the group and how he and your wife seemed to be a great couple together. Your take-away from reading that was that he seemed to be getting over his break-up pretty well -- and you hoped that meant you would be able to go back home yourself after two weeks at the most.
Over the next two weeks there was a constant stream of postings on facebook and instagram tracking what he and your wife were doing. Many of the postings were in your wife's accounts, while others were postings by her/your friends and even a couple by him. For instance, during the second weekend of his time at your house, he and your wife hosted a dinner and games night at your house -- with most of the couples that you and your wife usually socialize with invited. There were a lot of postings of pictures from that evening the next day and a lot of comments about how much fun everyone had. You also received three emails the next day from your wife's friends who had been at the party saying how impressed they were with what a supportive husband and friend you were being by having let him move in with your wife while you stayed at his place. And two of the emails also commented on how romantic the two of them seemed to be with each other.
After exactly two weeks of him living with your wife, you called her to ask how he was doing and whether it would be OK for you to come home -- and whether he was ready to return to his house.
"It does seem" you said to her "that he's recovered pretty well from the trauma of his wife leaving him. I mean -- the two of you have been going out a lot, often with other couples, and it seems he's been able to cope with the pain of his wife leaving him."
Your wife paused for a moment before answering. "I know it seems like that" she said "and yes, he and I have been having a very active social schedule, and I do think I've been able to satisfy his sexual needs pretty well -- but I also think that if I tell him it's time for him to leave and for you to return, that will just make his feelings of rejection resurface. So basically -- what I'm saying is -- he really isn't ready to go back to his home and be alone and he's not ready for you to replace him in my bed. So no -- not yet hun. Maybe you need to give us another month now. OK?"
Hearing that was like a gut punch. Another month! But what could you say, or do. Your wife was not really giving you a choice. He would be living with her for at least another month while you continued to live alone in his place.
Over the next month you actually started to get used to living alone and not going out socially with the couples who had been friends with you and your wife -- because, for all intents and purposes, you were not part of a "couple", while it was your best friend and your wife who were now a "couple". And so -- on an almost daily basis -- you would see postings on social media from your wife, or your best friend, or others, that showed pictures of the two of them at restaurants or parties -- pictures that often showed him with his arm around her shoulders or the two of them holding hands or kissing, and there were lots of comments online from others about what a great couple they were, how much fun it was to go out with them, and even how much in love they seemed to be. One of your wife's best friends, for instance, wrote on several occasions that it was easy to forget that your wife wasn't married to your best friend because they seemed to be so perfect together and so much in love.
To say that seeing the pictures and reading the comments was a source of pain for you would be an understatement. You knew your wife would be upset if you contacted her, but you did write to her best friend one time just to vent about how concerned and anxious you were about how romantic your wife and best friend seemed to be becoming and you asked her what she thought you should do about it. After a couple of days, she wrote back to say that you were being very petty about the situation, and that you should be pleased that your wife was being so nice and supportive of your best friend, and you should be pleased that he was starting -- thanks to your wife -- to recover from the pain of his wife having left him. She also said that you should be pleased that he and your wife have been able to have what seemed to be a very close and loving relationship -- one that seemed to make both of them very happy.
The truth is -- there was a part of you that WAS happy for her -- and for him -- happy that she was helping him heal, and happy that she was so happy being with him -- but you also felt so jealous of him and so hurt that your wife was forming a loving relationship with him that it was hard for you to focus on anything other than your own feelings.
*************************
At the end of that month you again called your wife to ask about coming back home. The news was much better this time -- or so it seemed at first.
"Mmm. I'm glad you called" your wife said. "What would work best is if you plan on coming back to the house in ten days. Is that OK with you?"
"Ten days? YES. Great. And since that will be just a couple of days before our anniversary, it will be so nice to be able to celebrate that with you" you replied. "And he will return to his house I assume?"
But your wife's answer at that point surprised you. Laughingly, she said "Well. Not exactly. You see -- next week would have been HIS anniversary -- probably a very painful date for him now. So -- to get his mind off of it, I for he and I to go on a 17-day cruise, starting ten days from now. So what I'd like would be if -- on the day we fly down to catch the cruise ship -- you could first drive us to the airport, and then you would go to the house and stay there while we're gone. I've actually got a list of little household chores that need doing while he and I are on the cruise, but mainly, what I want is for you to paint the bedroom. As it is now -- in what I know is the color that you picked out when it was first painted -- it still has a little too much of "you" in it for him to feel totally comfortable. I did take down any pictures that you were in and replaced those with pictures of me and him, but I'd also like to have you re-paint -- this time, in HIS favorite color. You will do that for us, won't you hun?"
Your heart sank. Not only would you not be home with her to celebrate your anniversary, your wife was focused on your best friend's feelings as the date of his anniversary was approaching AND she was obviously thinking that he will be staying with her for the foreseeable future and she was re-decorating her bedroom with that thinking in mind -- by changing and removing anything associated with you -- and by adding touches that relate to him.
"Y..yes dear" was all you could say. "Just tell me when you want me to pick you two up to go to the airport, and leave me information about the color you want the bedroom repainted -- and it will all be done by the time you two return from your cruise."
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