literally crying laughing at this
#i'd kinda assumed there was more alpaca in an alpaca
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@prettysurethisworks
literally crying laughing at this
#i'd kinda assumed there was more alpaca in an alpaca

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Every ten years, a random person in the kingdom is selected to journey to the temple at the mountaintop. Inside is an altar with two levers. If one is pulled, a plague will be released upon the land. If the other is pulled, the plague is delayed by ten yearsâŚbut doubled in strength.
Oh, him? That is Marco. He is the wise one, the reason we are all here. He was the first to stay on purpose.
Yes, on purpose - oh, the first ever? No, that was me. I was - ha! I was foolish. I was trapped by fear, fear of doing wrong.
You made the journey; you understand. Those of us here understand that fear better than most. Do we bring pain down on everything we hold dear now, or do we curse them all to a greater pain tomorrow?
A Horse power being only 735 watt is honestly so weird like that's not even enough to run a modern game on decent seatings
You wanna know what's fucked?
Your brain is a 25-watt computer.
Brain is 25% of your energy consumption, you burn about 100 watts of power (about 100 joules per second). You're a 25-watt computer.
I don't like that fact
No but for real. Your brain is one of the most advanced machines known to exist. It's a computer capable of running a sapient intelligence on - and I cannot stress this enough - 25 watts of broccoli and stew. What the fuck.
It's a cool fact it just makes me uncomfortable
*weeps uncontrollably at 9 o'clock in the morning*
God, I love randos on the internet who just want to be kind.
did perfectionism ever truly protect you from harm or neglect as a child though. ultimately. Lol
[REALLY NORMAL AND WELL-ADJUSTED VOICE] well you never know maybe it COULD have saved me. if i ever actually achieved perfection. it could have happened then. if i was actually ever enough. Which i was not

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the enemy drank water today. did you?
i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win
Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now Iâm living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME
Happy disability pride month
via @ninjahijabimuseâ
this is so much better i love it
as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine
sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA
The San Francisco Examiner, California, February 25, 1935
Sometimes I think humankind hasnât changed at all.Â
WHAT IS âDOESâ?
The Definitive, Correct Discworld Reading Order:
The book given to you by a friend or relative
Whatever they have available at your local library
Whatever they have available at your local bookstore
Recommendation from a friend (not the original one who got you started)
Reread your favorite again
Fill in the rest as you go along
Discworld Heritage Post

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The way that most of Conan Doyleâs Sherlock Holmes storiesâ most horrible villains are rich dudes that are abusive to women, in a time such as the 1880âs, compels me.
Thereâs a whole subset of Sherlock Holmes stories that could be labeled Asshole Guys Try to Control Womenâs Money.
Yup, thereâs a huge number of times where Sherlock Holmes is the ONLY person to take a young womanâs complaint or worry seriously and finds out someone is up to some serious evil. Holmes also shows a lot of compassion and empathy with the victims over and over again. (This is why I find âSecretly a womanâ or âTransâ Holmes headcanons much more convincing than âsociopathâ Holmes.)
I am never going to shut up about how much I specifically love The Adventure of The Copper Beeches because it is literally Sherlock Holmes listening to a young lady he does not know except as a potential client, agreeing with her that a potential job she has interviewed for that she thinks is SUPER SKETCHY is, indeed, sketchy as fuck and when she says sheâs probably gonna take the job anyways because the money is good and she needs it going âOKAY I GUESS but for the love of god please write to us so we know youâre okay we will literally drop everything and jump on a train if you want us toâ.
The job turns out to indeed be sketchy as fuck, she writes to them, Holmes and Watson drop everything and jump on a train when she asks them to. I read this story for the first time when I was twelve and it made a HUGE impression.
This is also the basis for a lot of speculation about Holmesâ family life. The idea that he has been a victim of abuse, or his mother was abused (or even murdered by his father.) Thereâs definitely SOMETHING that makes him very aware of how dangerous isolated families can be, and the dark things that can happen behind closed doors. Plus, of course, the motivation to devote himself to stopping crime. And yes, so much of it is of the personal type.Â
dude see this is one aspect of the original books i NEVER understand why modern remakes (cough cough) donât go all in on. Like, in the 21th c we HAVE all the dumb forensic shit that made Victorian Holmes stand out, but we STILL DONâT HAVE uhâŚ.you know, compassion for women and minorities, or the willingness to believe them, adequate community support for domestic violence or hate crimes, etc. etc. which youâd think is exactly where a renegade consulting detective would come in handy. A good modern day Sherlock Holmes remake, instead of trying to convince us that Holmes is some super genius for being better than fingerprint analysis or whatever, could have him just beâŚa good person who helps out people the police canât and wonât help. There you go. Thatâs how to write a relevant modern Holmes.
One thing that annoys me is how much the BBC version of Sherlock (and the fandom around it) focus on police cases or cold cases. In the stories, Holmesâ bread and butter cases had fuck-all to do with the police and in a few stories, he actively works around/against them, or outright lies to them. Of the many, many things I wish that show had done differently, this is one is particularly obnoxious since itâs such a gimme.
There were very few actual murder cases in the Canon, and Holmes handled them either one of two ways:
Option one: The murder victim was innocent while the killer was an abusive bastard, see Speckled Band. Conclusion, arrest and have the killer charged (Or in the case of Speckled Band, indirectly murder him yourself then shrug and go home)
Option two: The victim was murdered to protect someone that the victim was abusing, or for vengeance, see Boscombe Valley, Devilâs Foot, Abbey Grange. Conclusion, Oops, I donât know who the killer is, I am suddenly incompetent, oh look a pheasant.
#my favorite murder in holmes canon#is when they straight up witness a lady murder her blackmailer#do nothing except destroy his other blackmail material#and then straight up lie to lestrade about it#sherlock holmes#more of this in modern adaptations pls (via @cactusspatz )
Letâs not forget the time Holmes helps a young woman whoâs being catfished by her own stepfather to steal her inheritance, and when the villain sneers that the law canât touch him, Holmes grabs a horsewhip out of sheerest chivalry.
So, the most canon-accurate iteration of Sherlock Holmes in the last few decades is actually Benoit BlancâŚ.
I think itâs also important to note, and complicates our ideas about what the highly patriarchal/misogynistic society of 19th century England looked like, that these stories SOLD
they were POPULAR
the Victorians LIKED reading about women who won out over shitty men in their lives, even when that plotline reaffirmed a womanâs power and agency or put an active sexist in his place (ie Irene Adler besting Holmes)
which is fascinating in light of. you know. [gestures broadly at all of Victorian gender dynamics, laws, etc.]
a marriage of humankind's two greatest design achievements: the illuminated manuscript and the cool S
New cosmology dropped, we know what's underneath the turtle now!
shoutout to everyone dealing with. thhe fucking difficulty
the fact that all of my mutuals immediately reblogged this from me really says something about all of us, doesn't it
When I read âspace...the final frontierâ thereâs a small part of my brain that is that audio of Patrick Stewart saying it but with a ridiculous french accent that makes it âeh-spay-zeh...ze final frahn-tee-aireâ while Jonathan Frakes absolutely loses it in the background.
https://youtu.be/VV10in63_Ok canât stop laughing at this

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this is a highly controversial opinion, I have no doubt King Arthur was bisexual but I think he was one of the few people in Camelot not interested in fucking Lancelot. he wanted to retain him as an employee but it did not cross his mind that Lancelot was fucking his wife because Lancelot is such a weird little twerp that he did not perceive him as a sexual being. my interpretation.
So true. The Galehaut/Lancelot relationship was like a dynastic marriage to resolve the conflict between two imperial powers. I like to imagine Galehaut was like âI have decided to abandon my plans of capturing [what is now] all of southern England and surrender to you despite my military advantage, all for the love of my achingly beautiful and spectacular new male wife, Lancelot du Lac.â and Arthur was like âOkay. Weird. Not homophobic or anything but Lancelot? Youâre in love with Lancelot?â
Co-signed. Thatâs some real shit you said. Also, unlike Arthur, he was willing to yield and share his lover for everyoneâs benefit. And then he died for love. A real freak. One of the best freaks in 13th century French literature.
heâs the most interesting gay wifeguy in literary gay knight history
I started a mental sentence with, âwell, when we diagram the Arthurian polycule-â
And then realised that would be such a good title for a paper. âDiagramming the Arthurian Polycule: Mapping the Dynamics of the Round Kitchen Tableâ
yo @elodieunderglass tag me when you post that paper
I ought to!