momentary

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

could you imagine if it happened this pride month

In my experience, horror fans are by and large lovely people with a very healthy relationship to their genre of choice, but sometimes they fuck up and say something that in their ears sounds very affirmative of the movie of discussion and to everyone else sounds like the most sinister shit.

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

there's also the idea that he drove to walmart in his honda accord, and then when he got out he either forgot where he parked or wanted to skip like 20 seconds of walking so he just summons it right in front of the door

To not have to find a parking space, most wizards keep their Honda Accords in a extradimensional oubliette when not driving. This also saves on garage space.

Clearly the wizard had to summon his Honda Accord because someone stole it while he was shopping. The carjacker is now tumbling violently down the freeway like a source engine ragdoll

Insisting James Talarico is transgender in hopes of invoking the feverish transphobic hysteria they have been cultivating for years (he is cisgender), tweeting about how he will sacrifice you to Moloch (he is a Presbyterian who went to seminary school), repeatedly stating he is a vegan (he is not) and doing the old classic of calling him a Communist (wish that was true), republicans are fucking terrified of James Talarico and it is so fucking funny. Ken Paxton is a worse candidate and a worse person by every conceivable metric, he’s repeatedly committed fraud, he’s been a terrible attorney general. They cannot find anything to level the playing field in terms of terrible career track record or personal moral failing so they’re just lying. Not even good lies. They’re just going for what they assume will make the Texas public hate him. Transgender, demon worshipper, barbecue hater, commie. It is scary that the truth means nothing, it is scary that transgender identity is continuously weaponized for political gain, it is scary that we are still in the Red Scare and 1980s Satanic Panic bullshit but oh my God is it hilarious to see them spinning their wheels this hard.

Are you in Texas? To clarifying, I’m wondering how seriously to take the possibility that the state can flip. Been optimistic and disappointed for a long time.

No, I’m not from Texas nor am I very optimistic the state will flip, even though Talarico is leading in the polls. But I still have that little butterfly of hope within me and watching republicans get progressively more upset and nonsensical feeds that.

As a former Austinite, the way that Republicans are deranged about the mere existence of vegans in their state and also assume it’s true of every Democrat, that we are all in on this vast anti-barbecue conspiracy, is truly something to behold

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

I adore the vividness and how colourful this piece is! Plus, the Homeric siren is such a nice touch for sure.

had a fucked up dream i had a book that turned out could never be read again the same as the first time because each reread the characters became incrementally more aware that the events of the book had happened before and they were “reliving” it and i reread enough times that they became self aware, figured out they were in a book, acknowledged me as the reader, and some lost their minds or had existential crises, became violent to other characters or themselves, some begged me to never stop reading or they ceased to exist and others begged me to end it all stop reading and keeping them trapped in the endless loop of torment, and the literal only way to get the book back to its first run was to hand it off to someone else to read for the first time and for some reason i physically couldn’t tell anyone about it so i’d have to just hope whoever i gave it to would only read it once and i could never open the book again to check if they were okay and back to normal because i was terrified of fucking them all up again :(