my name is sprite pepsi and im ocs until i die

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

There was a girl on neopets a few years back who had a pet tick. She'd post pics of it in polly pocket playsets. I gotta find it again it sounds too fake

I mean, Josef Mеngеlе DID die here. Like, that’s something that happened. You know, the piece of shit Nаzі ““doctor”” who experimented on people? His bones are here. We’re using him as a practice skeleton for forensic medicine students at the University of São Paulo. I’m 100% serious.

For the record! We’re not fucking around with his bones just because. Technically, they should be given to his living relatives, but they really, REALLY don’t want him. Like, we’ve been asking them if we can mail him to them ever since he was identified in the 90s, and every time they’re like “hell no, fuck that guy” which is understandable but now we’re at this standstill in case a family member eventually does want him back, and we’re absolutely NOT burying a nаzі all nice and cozy in our soil if we can help it. So I guess it was decided that the best course of action was to fuck around with his bones. In the name of education.

evil Winnie the Pooh: I could go for a few smackerels of blood right now

there’s nothing wrong with me plus i don’t have any wants or needs plus i don’t feel or think at all