yes, she is the abuser and the student is the victim. yes, it is also sexist and gross that they would assume young boys have those sexual feelings towards their abuser. so the RESULT of those comments is harm towards the victims and defense of the abuser.

but the SOURCE of those comments is less that they can't see boys as victims and more that they think women are sex objects, so how could a boy be victimized by a sex object? you can see that because mentions of the victim are always throwaway lines and projection like "eh, he probably liked it anyway" and the mentions of the abuser are rants about how hot the teacher is and how bad THEY want her.

this is genuinely rapey conversion therapy language & i can't believe other lesbians (pick me-bians) enable this rhetoric.

we keep being told that "genital preferences are okay/valid", but this coercive language is what we are met with & what we see. it's like we've forgotten that everything other than an enthusiastic yes is NOT consent.

if everyone is calling the homosexual lesbians expressing concern, transphobic, then how can they say no and practice homosexuality openly?

(keyword is: they can't)

"oh you didn't notice the entire time? well then it would have never been a problem, don't bring it up anymore!"

"oh you found me attractive at one point? TOO LATE TO SAY NO, YOU ARE ALREADY FINE WITH ME!"

"why would you expect other people to clarify even the most "microscopic" parts of their medical history, as if you need to know or care about it?"

it's so fucking slimy and dishonest because it completely disregards the fact that right here, right now, these trans people are openly admitting this is a deliberate strategy to sleep with people that they KNOW aren't actually into them. these trans people are perfectly aware that being a responsible, caring and empathetic adult that wants to be clear and transparent about their own trans identity would shrink their dating pool, so instead of just accepting that as a normal fact of life (and maybe a part of their journey to full acceptance of who they are), they get fucking excited about the possibility that if they just keep quiet, they can push through people's boundaries and then blame them for not realizing what's happening. like the whole point comes from the idea of staying stealth for as long as you can. like that's what's getting them off more than anything else, that's what's "making them look so much happier".

like you would think it's your actual trans identity itself that gives you pride, not this whole game of "let's see how long it takes for you to notice, teehee".

but no, they don't just jump at the opportunity to do this as much as they can, it's also something they quickly want you to forget about so that they can point the finger at whoever "fell" for it and blame them instead. "you liked it!! you liked it!! don't pretend otherwise!! i said don't you fucking dare withdraw your consent at this point!! you fell for it!!"

i could never imagine being this antisocial, this dismissive of other people's boundaries, this triumphant over the fact that i managed to find a way to wiggle into someone else's dating pool without them noticing i am present. like it doesn't fucking matter if they can or cannot tell, the problem is and will forever be that i KNEW they would have said no, and i decided to disrespect that anyway.

i could simply never be like that. i do not get sexual enjoyment from using other people as my personal toys. i do not get off to power imbalances or cheating. i do not think it's fun to only have sex in a dark room where the other person can't really tell what i actually look like. i don't think it's sexy to have to wait in fear for the moment they notice something being off.

i don't think it's satisfying to know that the other person is only with me for as long as they don't know who i really am. i could never settle down with such an inferior dating experience.

but maybe that's only because i am not male.

I'm all for men wearing skirts. I'm all for men enjoying whatever stereotypically feminine things they enjoy. I'll even support medical transition, provided you're over eighteen, understand the health risks, and have faced persistent dysphoria.

The problem is that they've redefined "woman" to be a feeling. I can no longer use "woman" to discuss the tangible reality of having a female body. Presenting as women isn't enough for them, they have to be women.

Not only does this erode my ability to discuss sex-specific issues, but it leads to self-identification policies that allow men into female-only spaces. Female-only spaces that were created because of the physical threat men pose to women.

I was accused of "driving a shiv between cis and trans women," when I tried to discuss how cis women, face different issues from trans women. I didn't even say that trans women aren't women, but acknowledging a difference at all was enough to elicit hostility. (Their follow-up sentence was, "Someone should drive a shiv through you.")

women are afraid of men because of the violence they inflict on us

Because 90% of the time they're just attention seeking and also a woman can't do that in a male space because it would count against her immediately. Women in male professions/hobbies have to bravado everything. You know you're not welcome, and you have to force them to even give you a chance, and they fight you at every step.

If I turned up to my motorcycle school with the "I'm a nervous widdle baby pls validate me" attitude that men turn up to our crafting group with, then they wouldn't have let me in the door.