Stuff and Stuff

“I’m Crowley’s replacement,” the demon says.  “He’s not done anything impressive lately, and Downstairs doesn’t like how ineffective he is at keeping you in line.  So now he’s shuffling paperwork and scooping up hellhound shit while I do his job for him.”

“Ah… I see,”  Aziraphale says icily.  “Well, I most assuredly do not look forward to working with you.”

The demon laughs.  “Feeling’s mutual.”

Twenty-four hours later, the demon is very surprised to find himself discorporated in his sleep.  He can’t explain what happened, he has absolutely no idea.

“Don’t let it happen again,” Beelzebub says, annoyed, and sends the demon back up.

After a mere three days, the demon ends up discorporated again.

A new replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for a week and a day.

A third replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for exactly four hours.

Three demons are sent up next time.  Two manage to stay alive for at least five months.  In that time, they botch four very important temptations, and the citizens of London inexplicably find their daily lives much improved in thousands of little ways.  Traffic and pollution are nonexistent, injury and illness are miraculously avoided.  Church attendance is up five hundred percent, and every politician and CEO is struck by the urge to donate as much money as possible to charity.  There’s a general feeling of contentedness and goodwill in the air that wasn’t there before.  It feels downright heavenly.

Suddenly, Beelzebub is having a very hard time finding anyone to take Crowley’s post.  Bribes and threats make no difference.  The rumors have spread and only grown more disturbing in the telling.  Not one demon is willing to go up there and face the cold, calculated, merciless wrath of the angel known as Aziraphale.

Crowley absolutely loses it when someone gets around to telling him.  “Y’know, I could’ve warned you,” he says gleefully.  “Been working with him for thousands of years.  I know exactly how much of a bastard he can be.”

After running the numbers and seeing how many souls they’ve lost to Heaven in the past year, Beelzebub gives up and concludes that trying to replace Crowley is a massive waste of resources Hell can’t afford.

After one year, Aziraphale receives another phone call.  He answers, with bated breath, and nearly shouts for joy when he hears a familiar voice.

if you dont reblog this i have no respect for you. help save a child’s life.

this literally breaks my heart

this relates to my blog in 0 ways. but how can i not reblog this. you have to be one heartless person to not reblog this.

I really hope he is found. 

As the wizarding war grows more and more deadly, Remus and Tonks discover just how hard they will fight to protect the ones they love… even if it means leaving them behind.

Series Trailer

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Never Doubt - Official Series Trailer

Well there’s been a massacre going on in Sudan for DAYS and NOBODIES COVERING IT!

So there is currently a media blackout in Sudan to try and coverup the horrors taking place:

Stop what you’re doing and please reblog this. Innocent people are being murdered, people are trapped, have no internet access, and are being raped by the dozens on the streets of Sudan.

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

it’s the age of the internet and our empathy is evolving. yes, isn’t long-distance now so easy. there’s a lot we have to be thankful for.

but there’s a lot that’s changing. there’s no words for the emotion you feel when someone is taking a picture with you that you know is only happening because they want to look fun and popular and you’re a prop; there’s no word for when you know it’s because you’re uglier than them and it makes them look good - there’s no word for watching people socialize for social media credit. we know it happens. not just “hang on let me take a picture of my food.” not just “i’ve got to text my mom back, one sec.” i mean that strange distance between two people who comment on each other’s posts but cannot connect in person. i mean you pour out your soul on twitter but then clam up in person. i mean internet loneliness; the sensation of 212 thousand followers and still so empty, knowing if the plane goes down, the ocean of the internet will wash out your memory. 

“i want a friend date,” she says, and he snorts - you mean friends?

it’s hard, sometimes. finding a best friend. when i was little i had an assignment about it. i remember crying in the hallway because i didn’t have one. everyone else in class did. i wrote about my shadow. i didn’t fit in. over the years i’ve had a couple. one turned out pure evil. a few were my best friend but i wasn’t theirs, in the end. a lot just drifted from me until we were only friends by nostalgia, not connection. but i ached for the feeling of a best friend the whole time: the person you can be silent with, the person you can be wild with, the person you can be 100% yourself with.

we live in a society where romance is said to be the only space you’re allowed to really be close with someone. how many of us have said to make sure you marry your best friend. we know from dating that there exists a kind of connection we don’t always get in our friends - even a platonic one, a connection of spirit, a freedom of behavior. 

i get it. a platonic date sounds wonderful. it’s not hurting anybody. let’s both have three seconds where we’re honest with each other in a raw kind of way. it’s terrifying. or we could just talk about what’s bothering you. i’m also still fucked up about the avatar: the last airbender ending; i also don’t get katara and aang. 

it’s about trust. about vulnerability. so yeah. maybe i’ve done all kinds of platonic-date things. but i’ve also had the opposite happen: the non-friend. someone you don’t want to cut out, not necessarily - but not someone you can tell your secrets to in the end. i think what we’re all asking for is to be less lonely. we want to get close to people, but we don’t want to seem like we’re hitting on somebody. 

The Official “Log Off” Protest F.A.Q! 

The “Log Off” protest is in response to the recent NSFW ban announced by Tumblr. The ban flags all content the filtering system detects as NSFW, reducing visibility to the community. The system has proven time and time again that is inefficient, oftentimes flagging SFW material as NSFW. 

This SFW material includes art, memes and so on. This ban directly hurts the community and will not solve the actual problems at hand due to the poor flagging system. Because of this, the entire community will suffer.  

So to respond, I propose that every user on Tumblr logs off of Tumblr for 24 hours on December 17th at 12 am EST. 

Times are listed above depending on timezone! 

This post responds to some very common questions about the protest. So make sure to read it over! 

How to Export Your Blog: 

https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360005118894-Export-your-blog

Alternative Sites: 

Pillowfort

Mastodan 

Wordpress 

Twitter 

There is also an official Tumblr blog (ironic, huh?) and Twitter for the protest! It’s at: 

Twitter - https://twitter.com/logoffprotest

Tumblr - https://logoffprotest.tumblr.com/

There will be official updates on each account. Make sure to tag us in any posts, or use the hashtag #logoff2018 ! 

For people who want to use Dreamwidth, but are totally confused about how it works!

What is Dreamwidth?

Dreamwidth is a social media platform founded in 2009 after Strikethrough

It’s made out of a heavily-modified version of Livejournal code

It’s based around producing your own original content, and seeing original content other people post

The site is owned and run by fans and aims to provide creative people with an Internet home

Getting around your account

Your journal is like your “home”. It’s where you keep your stuff. It’s got different parts:

Recent Entries: View your posts in chronological order

(yourusername.dreamwidth.org)

Profile: Your “about” page

(yourusername.dreamwidth.org/profile)

Archive: See your posts as a calendar

(yourusername.dreamwidth.org/archive)

Tags: See all the tags you’ve used and go to their posts

(yourusername.dreamwidth.org/tag)

Memories: Like the “Likes” feature on Tumblr

You also have a “Reading” page (yourusername.dreamwidth.org/read)

This is like your Tumblr dash

It’s where you read entries from your “circle”, the people and communities you’re subscribed to

You can customize it a lot with filters and control who you see when

Finding new things

Listing an Interest in your profile is like getting listed in the phonebook. This is opt-in, choosing to say, “Yes! I’m really into this thing! Consider me a person who blogs about it!

Content Search is the more powerful way to search through the blog of everyone who’s opted into it, so you can look for everyone who’s posting about a certain thing right now. However, you’ll have to wade through a lot more junk.

Communities are Dreamwidth’s social hubs. They’re places where a lot of people can share content they’re interested in and talk to each other. Unlike Tumblr tags, they’re managed by specific people and have rules, so people behaving badly can get kicked out.

Paid members can see the Network page, which shows entries from everything everyone in your circle subscribes to. It’s a great way to discover new stuff and also learn what awful taste some of your circle members have

Latest Things is a direct firehose of EVERYTHING PUBLICLY POSTED TO THE SITE, HOMG

Privacy controls?! That’s a thing?!

You get to choose who sees your posts! You can make your posts public, private, or “locked”, which means only people you’ve added to your access list can read them

When you add a new person to your circle you can choose to subscribe to them, to make their posts show up on your Reading page, and/or to grant access, which lets them see your locked posts. You can do one, the other, or both!

Likewise, communities can make posts viewable to members only.

You can also create custom access filters, to allow only some of your access list to see a post.

Banning someone means they cannot leave you comments or send you messages. There are more advanced tweaks to make sure they never show up on your reading page if they post to a community you subscribe to, or remove them from the comments on a post.

Comments

The comments to a post are where the real fun happens.

Comments are sent to the email of whoever you’re replying to. They’re a real conversation. You’re not shouting into the void–you’re talking back directly to the post’s originator and other commenters.

You can edit your comment so long as it hasn’t been replied to, and you can delete your own comments.

The originator of the post, and administrators if it’s a community, can delete threads, or “freeze” them, leaving them intact but preventing anyone from replying to them.

You will add new skills to your resume

Dreamwidth leaves a lot more “backend” open so you can customize your experience to a huge degree. However, this means learning or using coding languages like HTML and CSS

The comment box on entries does not have a built-in text editor, so you will have to add your own HTML if you want to add <i>italic</i>, <b>bold</b>, or <a href=“http://websiteurl.com”>links</a>.

And not just me being vaccinated, but everyone around me too, because there are some vaccines I cannot safely have and I rely on everyone else around me being vaccinated to avoid it.

Things like, oh, say, whooping cough, which I actually had as a child because I went to school with the victims of antivaxxers, and we all got super sick and coughed so hard the blood vessels in our eyes ruptured and every fit felt like you were going to die choking for breath.

And tonight, a friend of mine who happens to be a mother, hauled me into an argument on Facebook where people in her neighborhood group were hosting a “whooping cough party” cause one of their kids got sick, and the tag line was “come on over and get it over with lol”, and words cannot convey how much visceral hatred I had for this person in that moment. If I could have set them on fire with my brain, I probably would.

Because I can wholly remember sitting in bed clutching my little chest, desperate for the pain to stop, making that horrible wheezing sound, with tears streaming down my face, utterly convinced I was going to die if I couldn’t draw breath. And that went on for months because even with treatment, the cough can take up to three months to subside. And that is a horrible thing for a child to go through. I cannot stress enough how painful and terrifying it was and my parents for all their faults could do nothing. They’d done everything they could to keep me safe from other illnesses. I had all my other vaccines, I just couldn’t have that one.

And the thing is, you can get it again, it’s not a one time deal. You can get it more than once, and doctors actually recommend you get a booster shot for it every ten years, and I can’t do that. I cannot protect myself from it. I rely on other people being responsible, and taking the necessary steps to keep whooping cough outbreaks low, and the only way to do that is through regular routine inoculation.

And these fuckers are throwing a party??? What???

Let me be clear, it is through profound measures of willful ignorance, hubris, and yes privilege, that people have allowed for things like measles and whooping cough to make a come back. It is a privilege to live in a healthy society where you can expect all your children to make it out of infancy. It is a privilege to not die young from TB, it is a privilege that many people before you had to suffer for and work hard to bring about, all in the hopes that another child wouldn’t have to go into the iron lung from polio. And through the privilege of never having had to suffer, you have elected to do harm. You have elected to allow for the resurgence of mumps, and measles and coughs that sound like a death rattle in the lungs of infant children, and then you have the absolute audacity and malice in your souls to celebrate and throw “sickness parties” because you’d rather let your child suffer through unnecessary illness than be vaccinated?

How dare you. You have a moral and social obligation to protect your children and the people around you, and not only have you chosen to wave this responsibility, but you are actively endangering others?

How dare you.

And the thing is I know, I know in your own misguided way you think you are doing what is best for you child. But if the road to hell truly is paved with good intentions, I can tell you now with absolute certainty that you fuckers have got your own burning stars on the walk of shame.

Vaccinate your god damn kids. And get your booster shots while you’re at it. You might just save someone’s life without ever knowing or trying.

…haven’t we all…

………

OH COME ON DONT TRY AND ACT COY, PEOPLE. I know this is you right now as you read this sitting alone in your room probably :

Ligabus Filium (Tessa Crowley, 41.5k): Bdsm Drarry at its very best

It Started in the Shower (chickenlivesinpumpkin, 124k): So gloriously hot that all it takes is hearing “little cat” to make me shiver. Possessive, dominant Harry & sexy, sexy Draco.

Big Dick Come Quick (Calanthe, 204k): Basically one giant (heh) PWP featuring hung!Harry & size-queen!Draco, with an extra dose of feels and adorableness.

Unhook the Stars (jad, 72k): Draco’s a professional Dom & Harry takes it like a champ. The writing is fantastic, the sex is scorching, and Draco drives around in a yellow Lamborghini named the Honey Badger & terrifies Muggles.

How to Handle an Enemy & Turnabout is Fair Play (who_la_hoop, 18k together): The Slytherins play Truth or Dare. Epic wanking ensues. 

Sex, Lies, and Veritaserum (lettered, 18k): Veritaserum induced dirty talk about their deepest, most intimate fantasies. 

Bored (Vorabiza, 9.5k): The Gryffindors and Slytherins are trapped together, and Harry keeps them occupied by getting his dirty talk on.

Unknown Pleasures (birdsofshore, 10k): The Room of Requirements thoughtfully summons Draco & a wide variety of bdsm fuckery for Harry.

Rather Than Love (birdsofshore, 7k): Draco gives Veritaserum to Harry to make him discuss their sex life in front of strangers. 

Draco at Nineteen (birdsofshore, 5k): Draco’s turning 19 & having a difficult time of it, so future Harry (who’s dating Draco) uses a time turner to come visit him on his birthday & help him… relax. 

Endowment (dictacontrion, 11k): Finally, a hung!Draco fic! It’s so yummy- Draco spends most of it preparing Harry for his huge cock (aw yeah), and when they finally fuck, god. It’s electric.

Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets) (dictacontrion, 17,5k):  Draco fucks Harry to unlock his Parseltongue and get the map to the Chamber of Secrets. 

Simulacrum & Finders Keepers (slashpervert, 8k): Draco, being an enterprising gentleman, decides to make a replica of his cock (that’s linked to him, so he feels what it feels) & send it anonymously to Harry. 

Don’t Think Twice (firethesound, 28k so far): It starts with Harry spying on Draco wanking in the Prefects’ Bathroom & progresses in a most delicious manner.

Another Mask Behind You (lettered, 117k): Draco’s a prostitute and Harry unknowingly hires him (Draco came up with a potion that slightly changes his appearance). It’s hot hot hot.

IDK My BFF Hermione? (lettered, 19k): Draco wears eyeliner, leather, silver necklaces, and dances on tables. Harry finds this very intriguing. 

Hung Like a Horntail (lumosed_quill, 2k): Draco is determined to get up close and personal with Harry’s huge cock. #goals

Touch Me Fall (lumosed_quill, 23k): Harry hires Draco to try to get him out of his system. It works about as well as you’d expect.

It’s The Love of the Chase (that Created the Ride) (lumosed_quill, 14k): Harry and Draco are Auror partners who get off on the adrenaline rush and fucking in public.

Remote (Sara Holmes, 7.5k): Harry & Draco’s fight over the remote takes a most delicious turn.

Punishment (dysonrules, 15.5k): Draco and Harry make a bet over their Quidditch game, resulting in spanking aplenty.

Let Me See You Stripped (Down to the Bone) (traintracks, 24k): Harry & Draco are strippers who are paired up to dance together. The sexual tension is sizzling

Hurt for the Right Reasons (traintracks, 4.5k): Angry Quidditch shower fucking

Draco Malfoy is NOT Attractive & Harry Potter is an Arrogant Prick (sophiefrench77, 6.5k together): Despite both claiming to find the other repellent, Harry and Draco are unable to resist shagging like mad.

A Tale of Horns, Mating Rituals of the Winged Predator, Claws that Catch, Dragon Riding for Beginners (Pushdragon, 35k): Harry’s a professional Quidditch player and Draco’s preparing to go ride a dragon. Needless to say, Harry’s the one to ride a dragon here.

Inevitable as the Tide (cassiafrankincense​, 5k): Beautiful, emotional, intense sex that reads like poetry 

The Ties that Bind Us (Faith Wood, 28k): Harry and Draco are (literally) bound together, and put their proximity to good use.

Obsession (Faith Wood, 4k): Harry finds himself obsessed with Draco’s ass. Understandable 

Daydream Series (Faith Wood, 12k): Draco buys 100 Patented Daydream Charms featuring sexy Harry, and quickly becomes obsessed with them.

Three Potters (Faith Wood, 2k): Draco uses Patented Daydream Charms to shag three Harrys at once.

Preparation & Blush (closet_bound, 7.5k): Draco gives Harry an introduction to the glories of gay sex.

Making a Politician Shut Up: A Lover’s Guide (Lokifan, 7.5k): Harry helps Draco unwind from his day with the help of gags & spanking

While we’re on the topic, from my masterlist:

“Suffer The Children” oldenuf2nb NC-17, 32327 words Summary: Draco Malfoy has learned via painful experience that the least complicated way to go about things is to not allow himself to care—about anyone. After all, he’d tried that once without success. But now he finds himself thrust into a situation where maintaining the armour around his heart simply isn’t an option.

  My followers better all reblog this.

There should be more notes

REBLOG FOLLOWERS.

As long as you’re willing to love, you’re alright in my book <3

 i fucking love this.

This is amazing <3

No H8

If you don’t rebolg this:

by Kumagorochan On DeviantArt