Pizza Preferences (DW Fanfiction)
Guan Suo: *knocks on bedroom door* Hey sis, you hungry?
Guan Yinping: *opens the door* Im getting there. You going out for food?
Guan Suo: Yea I figured since it's game night we could order a few pizzas, maybe some wings
Guan Yinping: Oh shit, it is game night! Which game are we playing?
Guan Suo: You forgot? Were supposed to playing Skipbo
Guan Yinping: .... are you fucking serious?
(Guan Suo gets a call, it's their brother Guan Ping calling. He answers)
Guan Suo: Hey bro! How far are you?
Guan Ping: Hey man, I'm bout 12 minutes out. Is dad there?
Guan Suo: I don't think so... I think he's with uncle Bei.
Guan Ping: Okay good, could you go in the room and see if he left that prescription?
Guan Suo: I am not going to search our father's room for that.
Guan Yinping: wait what?
Guan Suo: It's Ping. *puts phone on speaker*
Guan Ping: Alright man, that's fine. I'll just find it when I get there, what yall up to?
Guan Yinping: We were actually about to order a pizza-
(Guan Xing arrives outside, knocking on the door)
Guan Suo: That must be Xing. I'll get it
Guan Xing: *walks inside the house* yall left the door unlocked
Guan Suo: Oh wow, Dad must've did that on the way out. Well, welcome in I guess
Guan Ping, via phone still: Hey Xing, how'd you beat me there?
Guan Xing: I didn't smoke on the way.
(They all giggle and laugh)
Guan Ping: Okay, fair enough. I'll see yall soon, where we getting pizza from?
Guan Xing: Yall getting pizza? Why didn't you tell me I would've picked it up
Guan Yinping: We haven't ordered yet... but it would've been nice if one of yall mfs brought something I mean... no shade
Guan Xing: My bad, shit..
Guan Suo: Well Guan Ping's not here yet, maybe he can go grab the food
Guan Ping: *hangs up*
Guan Yinping: *laughs* he get on my NERVES
Guan Suo: no this mf didn't just hang up...
Guan Xing: *chuckles* that's okay man, I can go get it. Where yall getting it from?
Guan Suo: I was gonna call Dominos
Guan Xing/Yinping: DOMINOS??
Guan Yinping: please don't let his ass order the food
Guan Suo: well damn. where do yall wanna eat?
Guan Xing: Papa John's? it's been a while
Guan Suo: *side eye* ...... so yo ass won't eat Domino's but you can eat Papa John's?
Guan Xing: I mean the wings are pretty good
Guan Yinping: Yall both about to piss me off.
Guan Ping: *walks inside the house* Do not let this mf order Papa John's.
Guan Suo: That was a fast ass set of 12 minutes. Welcome in then
Guan Yinping: Yall don't know what to do. Im calling Pizza Hut
Guan Ping: I can get behind that
Guan Suo: But Pizza Hut takes 47 business days.
Guan Yinping: Do you have somewhere to be?
Guan Suo: I mean I would like to get married one day
Guan Xing: Okay, how about we just say fuck it and go to Lil Caesar's. That sound good?
Guan Yinping: That sounds fucking terrible.
Guan Ping: Oh my God bro-
(the siblings argue over each other for bout 11 minutes due to no one agreeing on where to order the pizza. Guan Yu and Liu Bei then enters the home)
Guan Yu: Hey hey hey! What the hell yall got going on?
Liu Bei: Oh god, it's happening again.
Guan Suo: Father all of this is happening because no one can agree on where to order pizza from.
Guan Yu: Yall are arguing over fucking food AGAIN??
Liu Bei: *leaves*
Guan Xing: I told them to just get Lil Caesar's and call it a day
Guan Yinping: don't nobody want that cheap ass pizza but you
Guan Ping: I cannot make this shit up. This is why I smoke
Guan Suo: That's why yo ass need to be the one to buy the pizza bc you about to eat it all anyway
Guan Ping: how the FUCK can i go GET the pizzas when we haven't ORDERED ANY YET?
Guan Yu: *slams staff on the ground* OKAY. WE NOT DOING THIS. CHILL TF OUT, YALL ARE TOO DAMN GROWN. IT'S PIZZA
(everyone goes silent)
Guan Yu: if yall can't agree on a place to eat then just Doordash yall shit individually.
Guan Xing: Well why don't we just let Dad decide then?
Guan Suo: Well, dad?
Guan Yu: I don't want no damn pizza, at all. I'll doordash my shit
Guan Yinping: *on the phone* Yes Hi Hello, I would like to place an order for a PIZZA HUT bundle.
(Suo and Xing huff and puff in irritation)
Guan Xing: Okay, yall got that. I dont care what I eat anymore
Guan Suo: I do, we about to waiting all damn night for food.
Guan Ping: to be honest...why DIDN'T we just do doordash?
Guan Yinping: I would like to do 1 pepperoni, 1 hawaiian--
(all the sons leave the room in disappointment. Guan Yu gives Yinping money for the food)
the end
