Some kind of writer of fanfic...

The "Twelve materializes the TARDIS in Clara's bathroom while she's taking a bubble bath, dressed as a deep-sea fisherman and carrying a swordfish, and they proceed to have a normal conversation (for them)" comic really sneaks up on you when you're reading the Titan run of the Twelfth Doctor.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

when we "lose" a cis butch woman because he becomes a trans man or masc you should actually say such things as yay, yippee, or hooray.

Sometimes having an OC is like "this character is an outlet for my insecurity and trauma" and sometimes it's like "this character is an outlet for my love of vampires :)". Sometimes it's both

Sometimes you think it's "this character is an outlet for my love and nothing more :)" and then you look it over later like "shit. product of the deepest depths of my soul again"

Every time an author reassures readers that the smut is skippable I sigh a disappointed sigh. This is not a reassurance. Why would anybody who likes smut want to read smut that was only included as an afterthought and has no impact on the narrative? Insulting. Just don't write it at all if you're not going to make it matter.

cant wait to go home so i can go be horizontal. all this vertical stuff sucks

Sighs because I just spent my lunch break writing 500+ words of the next fic request only to realise I actually really want to write the scene from the other character’s POV.

Love character relationships that can only be described as "whatever the fuck these two have going on"

Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"