Hark, A Lurker

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

I’m making a non-profit that gives klonopin to deer so we can ride them like horses

why is there an upgrade button on gmail. why does twitter want me to scan my palm to get into my account. why is google a chatbot. why does the transit app make a transit app wrapped for me. why does youtube keep shoving its infinitely scrollable shortform content down my throat. why do my doctor and psychiatrist and therapist want to use an ai notetaker during our appointments. why do free trials want my credit card number. why are most scholarship websites just data brokers. how do i make capitalone stop sending me mail. why is my school making its own special chat gpt powered chatbot. why is every third video on instagram an undisclosed ad. why is nothing online real anymore. why is everything so FUCKING STUPID

in 2017 we’re replacing our cerebrospinal fluid with sierra mist

no idea what this means

lemon lime spine

A free-range group therapy called "get herded, idiot", where you and everyone in your group is set loose to run around on an open field while a highly trained shepherd dog tries to keep you all in one group. I am not sure what benefit this would have for anyone involved.

This would fix everyone involved including the dog

Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you

Yes!

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says “you’re half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if you’ve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says it’s got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.”

IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?

Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.

Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.

we need fewer songs about falling in love and breaking up and MORE songs about famous disasters of the sea

being told you’d cruise the seas for american gold you’d fire no guns, shed no tears, now you’re a broken man on a halifax pier might not be a universal experience, but like neither is the club. so a little perspective might be nice

i can’t listen to misery business because i hate businesses

misery commune

i’m in the co op of misery let’s take it from the top

she got a body fuelled sustainably by all organic crops