I don't care how bad life gets i'm not watching Love Island

trump is 78, putin is 72, netanyahu 75, biden 82, lukashenko 70. if you kill yourself now, you'll never see them die. keep going

No I'm not burnt out. Babygirl I'm crispy

“i have of late lost all my mirth” should be a valid reason not to come in to work

Me & the other drivers were really impressed when you swerved around all of us at high speeds & got to the red light before anyone else

it’s april fools day today but here i am, a fool everyday

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

I hate not doing anything actually but I'm very, very good at not doing anything. I have a natural talent for loitering, lounging and wasting time. An inherent idleness.

where are the jobs for useless people who can't handle anything at all

baby me, sorting m&ms by color and then into a gradient: now this is how you have fun!

baby me, observing other children eating fistfulls of randomly colored gummy bears all at once: when do i get to go back to my home planet