Twisted wonderland vice dorm x mad hatter reader headcanons
Even if anyone invited by RiddleāAKA the Queen of Heartsāis welcome to all unbirthdays and tea partiesā¦
WHY THE ACTUAL HELL DID HE INVITE YOU?!?
Lookā¦ itās not like Heartslabyul lacks students with a few screws loose, or that the dorm never experiences phenomena that violently defy logical explanationā¦
But you? You take the cake. And then you fling that cake into a teacup just because it felt like the right color.
Tea parties with you are a littleā¦ chaotic.
A tower of tea cups balancing on their rims, wobbling as if theyāll crash at any moment, yet somehow staying intact.
Tea flavors that make no sense for the day of the week.
Desserts that you swap with other students every time you take a bite simply becauseāwhy not.
āCould youā¦ be calmā¦ for five minutes?ā
āIām calm! Calm like a pin in a cakeā¦ or a strawberry in a roseā¦ he-he. Theyāre the same color, you know.ā
Great Seven, grant him patience.
Every time he interacts with you, Trey gains a new gray hairā¦ yet heās secretly amused watching you talk to tea cups as if they had a life of their ownā¦ which, letās be honestā¦They probably do.
And the worst part? They answer you. Not verballyāTrey would faint on the spotābut they move when you speak to them.
Sometimes when Trey thinks his day is finally normal, you show up with one of the hedgehogs sitting on your head, chatting with an upside-down teapot.
āā¦Perhaps you need a porcelain shift in your life.ā
Whatever Trey is holding at that moment, he carefully sets it down on the nearest surface.
And sighs...A long, slow sigh.
Still, Trey wouldnāt trade you for anything in the world, which worries him because it means heās lost his last shred of sanity.
Ruggie has exactly one rule: as long as you donāt cause problems in front of Leona-senpai or inside Savanaclawā¦ you can be the same weirdo as always.
Sometimes that truce doesnāt go as planned.
One day he found you rearranging Leonaās chess piecesāturning them all upside down, in random places, and by some strange magicā¦ they couldnāt fix themselves.
Letās just say Leona banned you from the dorm, especially from his room, for lifeā¦
Though, to be honest, you never respect that ban.
So now Ruggie has to deal not only with Leonaās errands, but also with keeping an eye on you every time he catches you sneaking through corners like a feral gremlin.
Sometimes he even uses you as a distraction when he needs to escape a mess he caused himself, claiming your natural chaos could distract anyone.
Most of the time it works; other timesā¦ not so muchāespecially when you grab his too-big sleeve to keep him with you right when he tries to flee.
He does have soft moments, though. Sometimes he invites you to lunch with him, knowing you always have a snack hidden up your sleeve.
Which is concerning, because sometimes you pull those snacksā¦ from nowhere.
āRuggie! I brought yesterdayās sandwiches that taste like tomorrow!ā
Most of the time he doesnāt know whether to answer you or perform a lobotomy.
Still, Ruggie respects you as aā¦ slightly unhinged life companion. He just hopes you donāt accidentally break space-time.
Jade isnāt the type to be disturbed by things outside the norm, nor does he mind having you around.
On the contrary: you spark a scientific curiosity in himāthe kind that makes him tilt his head with a smile that suggests heās two seconds away from dissecting you.
Itās like heās observing a rare hallucinogenic mushroom and is fully ready to build it its own terrarium.
Not that Jade will kidnap youā¦Not right now, at least.
Still, with that upside-down head of yours, you might want to be careful; one of those tweels might try to bring you into his lab.
He thoroughly enjoys taking tea with you, especially when you manage to bring blends that taste illogically logical.
Once you served tea that tasted like āa Thursday that forgot it was Thursday.ā
āExquisite. The flavor of temporal denial is wonderfully brewed.ā
Floyd and Azul fear for his sanity.
Sometimes you feel like heās inspecting youānot coldly, but with a slanted, calculating gaze, as if you were a unique natural phenomenon.
He even studies the things around you, as though your personal bubble belonged to another world.
āDid that wheel of pins just move?ā
āYep. Itās been humming low today; it needs to dance.ā
āMay I examine it in the laboratory?ā
Every time Jamil sees you, he wants to die. Literally.
He already endures Kalimās radiant, explosive energy; adding you to the mix pushes his stress level to a divine punishment.
Itās not that he dislikes youā¦ per seā¦You just multiply his anxiety by ten.
You are the only person capable of messing up his room without ever touching anything...And he never even invited you inside.
āJamil, your thoughts are crooked.ā
āNo. My thoughts are perfectly aligned.ā
āThen the ceiling is crooked.ā
Jamil fears lifting his head; but he does.
And, indeedā¦ the ceiling is rotated.
For his mental health, heās going to ignore it. Internally, he is screaming.
When you cook together, despite Jamil watching you like a hawk, you always manage to pull nonexistent ingredients out of your hat.
The dishes are always flawlessā10/10āwhich makes Jamil want to cry because he canāt keep up.
He doesnāt know whether to thank you for helping or beg on his knees for you to stop pulling ingredients from alternate dimensions.
As long as you donāt pull out an insect from that magic black holeā¦
Jamil might tolerates you.
To Rook, you are yet another masterpiece in his collection of aesthetically perfect creaturesāright beside Leona and the tweels.
He finds your madness and eccentric vocabulary a beauty beyond compare.
He is artistically, philosophically in love.
He wants to decode every particle of your beingā¦ even the ones that donāt exist.
You are his favorite kind of puzzle.
āYour soul is like a rain of unpredictable stars, dear le chapelier fouā
His poetry about you never repeats itselfāhe always finds something new to sayā¦ or you always have something new to show him.
The day he discovered that under your hat was a smaller hat, and under that an even smaller one, and so on until a tiny hat fit for a fleaāhe nearly fell to his knees.
āMagnifique. The illusion of the absurd.ā
He follows you through hallways whenever he can, like a very chatty, very colorful shadow, documenting your every step.
Once he found you having tea with ghosts at Ramshackleā¦ imaginary tea and allābut the cups and teapot were real.
āRook! Would you like to drink air-flavored tea with us?ā
Of course he accepts. How could he refuse someone so exquisite?
Lilia is his own special case.
Itās like nothing surprises him, and somehow he meets your insanity at eye level.
Despite the dangerous concentration of chaos in your brain, Lilia gets along with you too well.
As if you were kindred spirits.
āLilia, the teapot refuses to serve Sebek.ā
āOh, let it be, sweetheart. It's sensitive today.ā
When you two join forces, Diasomnia fears for its life.
Sometimes the entire dorm ends up upside down. Literally.
Furniture from the floor hangs from the ceiling, and chandeliers and gargoyles lie neatly on the ground.
How did you do it? No one knows. How will you fix it? Even less.
Even Malleus avoids the kitchen when itās just the two of you.
Liliaās cooking is already hazardousāadding you makes it biohazard level.
Some afternoons, Lilia teaches you to hang upside down from the ceiling so you can āsee the room from a different perspective.ā
To you, itās simply āthe correct perspectiveā
Azul once said that if the two of you ever made a contract together, NRC would explodeā¦
Heās not entirely wrong.
