How many nhl players are getting roasted online for whatever bit of their playing style shane mocked during the smash or pass? (ie "I wouldn't fuck him his slapshot grip is fucked and he hasn't fixed it") does anyone suggest they try and snag Hollander as a coach after it's announced he has a 'career ending' injury?
Also, how many players get murder attempts (both by Ilya and others) after Shane actually starts talking about the racism in the nhl? What does the public think about all that?
“Shane Hollander wouldn’t fuck him” is devastatingly now a meme to describe someone who fails at or is bad at hockey. Play a bad game? Uh oh, Shane Hollander wouldn’t fuck you. Shane does not know about this. He is Too Offline. If he did know about this, he would fills his pockets with rocks and walk straight into the nearest large body of water.
I don’t have an exact number but it is More Than One. The public has the sense that the NHL is currently like a nuclear reactor melting down. It’s low key caught in a civil war. For Some Reasons That Have Not Yet Been Discussed, public tide shifts increasingly in Shane’s favor. People get fucking pissed that he’s not allowed to play but the players who called him slurs or hate crimed him are still out there. Tensions escalate considerably. Ilya Rozanov tries to put every single one of their heads through the fucking ice. People continue to think this is because he lacks enrichment without Shane Hollander to rival him and is just going around biting people out of boredom. Ilya is. Furious.
CRASHOUT SUMMER AU FIC
Post 1 (OG post. Fic first mentioned in tags of Snapping Birch post.)
Post 2 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn suffers. Ilya suffers. Boston suffers.)
Post 3 (Scott is homophobic. Carter Vaughn is bi and disrespectful.)
Post 4 (Ilya's Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day(s))
Post 5 (The NHL can just LIE?! About Hockey God, Shane Hollander?!)
Post 6 (Scott is homophobic. Rose can shoot him. RIP Carter Vaughn)
Post 7 (Shane finds out about the omegaverse and he WILL abort.)
Post 8 (Rose's 12th stalker works for her home security company. Shit.)
Post 9 (Matti Jalo enters the chat only to wave sadly at Carter Vaughn.)
Post 10 (Scott Hunter knows NOTHING. Sorry Vaughny.)
Post 11 (Montreal is on fire. Montreal loves✌🏽things. Queers & hockey)
Post 12 (Nobody suspects Hayden or JJ - Carter Vaughn or bust.)
Post 13 (Rose DONT shoot Scott Hunter. You still need a Grammy)
Post 14 (Hayden & JJ wish they did right by Shane after the hit.)
Post 15 (What happened that plotful night, Shane Edition.)
Post 16 (Rose did NOT consider Ilya in Smash or Pass. Ilya rages.)
Post 17 (Gay smoothie-rista, Kip Grady is dating a hockey player???)
Post 18 (Rose and Shane think They Are Fading - actually cryptids.)
Post 19 (NHL ranking: skilled enough for Shane to want to fuck you?)
Post 20 (People think Vaughn fucked Shane. Ilya: "STOLEN VALOR")
Post 21 (Does Kip know who Shane's disrespectful bisexual lover is?)
Post 22 (Rose and Shane: The Bestie Reverse Suicide Pact Love Story)
Post 23 (What happened that plotful night, Rose Edition.)
Post 24 (Fucking Denmark??? Also...Cameras 2: Electric Boogaloo)
MEMES PART 1 (Denmark?! Poaching THEEEEE Shane Hollander?!)
MEMES PART 2 (Carter v Ilya, Hollandry v Public, Canada v Shane.)
MEMES PART 3 (President Sanders, Kip is Tired, Hollandry)
MEMES PART 4 (#GodSaveTheRaiders, #GodSaveVaughny)
MEMES PART 5 (#GodAndPertussisBlessPresidentSanders)
MEMES PART 6 (Hollandry and the Danes)
MEMES PART 7 (Kip🫱🏼🫲🏾Vaughn, Hollandry v Stalker, Ilya v Carter)
Post 25 (Sweden enters the chat. Denmark and Canada are typing.)
MEMES PART 8 (Hollandry v Bread, Carter Vaughn v The Public)
Post 26 (Someone get Sveta, the Boston Bros need a fucking break.)
Post 27 (Vaccines for everyone EXCEPT for that one baby.)
MEMES PART 9 (Carter the Sex Freak & Sweden Guerrilla Marketing)
MEMES PART 10 (Crashout Count: Raiders, Montreal, Ilya, Scott...)
Post 28 (Sweden and Denmark are changing TAX LAWS for Shane)
MEMES PART 11 (Shane is marked safe from Cave Diving)
Post 29 (Sports fans are crazy on another level. Hollanov Suffers™)
MEMES PART 12 (The Raiders are dead to Ilya. Kip is Bro now.)
Post 30 (The politics and personal/cultural identity wrapped in sports.)
MEMES PART 13 (Woman and her gay best friend.)
MEMES PART 14 (Hollandry v Living, Scott v Public, Raiders v Ilya)
Post 31 (AU-ception. The Bachelor AU - Kidnapping Edition)
Post 32 (Ilya is aware that Shane is headed for a cliff & MUST find him)
Post 33 (It could be worse. They could have done heroin about it.)
MEMES PART 15 (🖕🏼the NHL, More Guerrilla Marketing - Ilya Edition)
MEMES PART 16 (Needs another monster labeled "cave diving")
MEMES PART 17 (Decisions decisions...)
Post 34 (All Hail President Bernie Sanders 🙌🏽)
Post 35 (Crashout/Snapping Birch Crossover, WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)
Post 36 (Crossover Cont, SERIOUSLY SHANE - WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)
Post 37 (Someone (not Shane!) needs to give Carter Vaughn a hug.)
MEMES PART 18 (Everything and everyone is on fire.)
MEMES PART 19 (Ilya is a feral dog. The Raiders need to tie him down.)
Post 38 (Crossover Cont, The Raiders see 2 Ilyas and just Give Up™)
Post 39 (Sometimes you 'besties for the restie' too close to the sun.)
Post 40 (Hollandry are trying REALLY REALLY hard.)
Post 41 (Agency, healing, Hollandry coming back on their own terms.)
Post 42 (Rose lets Shane terrorize American roadways as enrichment.)
Post 43 (Rose: Do you want to form an alliance with me? Shane: 🫱🏼🫲🏻)
Post 44 (Canada: We have Canadian gays for your son. Yuna+David:😰)
MEMES PART 20 (Montreal murder/suicide, Loss.jpg - Shane Edition)
Post 45 (Is Shane Dodging and Weaving DHS? Obligatory🖕🏼🧊)
Post 46 ("only good thing about trash who hatecrimed My Shane is how breakable his bones are." - Ilya probably)
MEMES PART 21 (Shane, Scott, Carter, & Ilya - "this is fine 🫠☕🔥")
Post 47 (Ilya is gnawing - slightly less - at the bars of his enclosure.)
ART POST 1 (Consider Sweden 🏒🏳️🌈🇸🇪 - but make it sad.)
Post 48 (Rose's backstory and real-world equivalents.)
Post 49 (Countries audition for the role of Shane's disrespectful lover)
Post 50 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn's mom did NOT raise her son to deny his lover like this. For the love of GOD, someone get Mitski off of Ilya's playlists.)
MEMES PART 22 (Rose Landry fans enter the chat)
Post 51 (Shane on Kiss Cam. Ilya is Not Okay. Cliff Marlow is gay????)
Post 52 (Ilya is Not Okay because SHANE is Not Okay. Rose & Co.)
Post 53 (Chicago and Kansas Lore!)
MEMES PART 23 (Montreal v Sweden. Shane v Existential Dread)
Post 54 (How do you lose a woman and get gay crashout bestie?!)
