what the f*** you telling me for?

Today was really stressful. I basically spent the entire day with my grandmother  in the hospital. Then when when we finally got home I was constantly in tears cause she can barely move and her pain is so intense but I cant do anything to help her. Im really scared its really not looking good and I just hope she can make it through this week. I dont think Im going to be ale to go to sleep tonight…. Also my friend just texted me telling me how mad she is that she just had to spend $500 on her family for Christmas. I am not replying because all I really wanna say is fuck you for complaining about having the luxury to spend money on your family. I just cant wait for the day I have a disposable income where Im not constantly worrying about how Im going to pay for school or help out my parents and they never pay me back knowing I dont have an all year round job. Im in so much debt that Im too scared too drop out of school for fear of becoming homeless because I wont be able to pay those loans back or that I made the wrong choice and if i really do finish I may not even get a job in the field I want. When i try to talk about how I feel and how much anxiety I have it comes off to people as me complains. And they tell me Daja this is how everybody feels. Really? cause no one tells me yea were all stressed and I think more people are worried than then they give off. Maybe its because I go to school with a bunch of people who think becoming a stripper or rapper is a real fucking fall back career. All they care about is homecoming and graduation not realizing its so much more in between and that ¾ of them wont make it too either.

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