Old Sport

the human body is an engineering marvel. I sneeze in bright light. if I dont get enough sunlight on my skin I get tired and sad and have to drink a lot of milk to fix it. standing too much hurts, but sitting too much also hurts. if I get a virus, my body will increase its temperature in an attempt to cook it, which also cooks my brain cells. toenails exist. I have to turn the radio down to see better when I drive. there are 17 genes dictating what my hair texture is, but it completely changes when the air is too humid. yawning is contagious. there are more species of bacteria living in my body than there are species of birds in the entire world. every few months I grievously injure my neck by "sleeping on it weird." it took seven million years of human evolution to form me, and now I'm afraid of phone calls.

“...Intelligent design.” [snicker] ...Yeah, right.

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

this isnt even getting into how minorities are often treated as though theyre "traumadumping" just for talking about their lived experiences in a deeply bigoted society. specifically thinking of disabled people at the moment but i feel its also applicable to most other oppressed groups.

truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest

growing up with a psychologist for a mother was so funny because my sister and i would be like “mo-om why do we have to go to bed now” and she would respond with a long explanation of the research on the effects of sleep on the brain and body followed by another explanation on permissive vs. authoritarian vs. authoritative parenting styles, with citations

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

Part of what’s so great about Sleeping Beauty is that i’s about like one very intense day in Aurora’s life. For sixteen years she picks berries and minds her business and like one right after another it’s ‘you’re fallen in love but it doesn’t matter’ ‘you’re a princess’ ‘we’re not your real aunts’ ‘you’re engaged to a stranger’ ‘you’re going home to your real parents’ ‘magic is real and we wield it’ and that onslaught of constant life-altering information is why she is the princess best poised to survive 2020

aurora’s last words after pricking her finger: oh thank fuck some time to process all this

hello for the love of god hi. if you have a chronically ill/disabled loved one who is constantly flaking on plans, unable to attend events due to illness, please please please keep inviting them to things anyway. being excluded from events due to illness or the assumption that we won't be able to attend is the worst feeling, even if the assumption is true. a cursory 'hey we are planning to do xyz, i know this thing isn't always easy for you but we'd love to see you there if at all possible' truly means the world. better yet, make plans with your chronically/ill disabled friend in mind and help them navigate the accessibility of it all or choose what you do together. failing that, if you haven't explicitly been told to stop inviting them to things, continue to include them in your plans because being deliberately excluded hurts like hell

what people need to understand is that ariana grande is able to pull off every single one of galinda's physical gags because that woman was in the comedy trenches of nickelodeon's victorious and anyone who was forced to show feet in front of dan schneider is walking away with a level of commitment to the bit that human beings were not built to perceive

wicked truly has the funniest fucking foreshadowing ever. that pretty guy singing about how great it is to be brainless? yeah don't worry about that. oh the wizard saying he feels strangely paternal towards elphaba??? nahhhhhhh that's wild, anyway. oh nessa being gifted some handmade, sentimental shoes from her older sister?????? it's not importantttttt baby girl