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if i look back, i am lost

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@inthereellife
Multifandom Blog @tell-me-your-vision
DC only Blog @fandom-hoard

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my friends did indeed play a bunch of petz 5 tonight to breed horrible monstrosities, and we ended up with some crowd favorites. I will now share our children for your viewing pleasure
first off: Tiger, our beautiful winged anteater... thing. his father is a toucan and his mother is four generations down a horrible mix
next, Tiger's lovely mother Miss Buttcheeks, who has both a snake tail AND a dog tail for some reason. her head and neck are not attached to the rest of her body but don't worry about it
another of the Buttcheeks children, Enigma's back legs glitched in such a strange way that it looks like he has a penis? we did not do this on purpose
and finally, from a different line altogether, Armchair, who for some horrifying reason decided her head should come up from the middle of her torso and she needed mouth arms?? and a second tail that makes it look like she's taking a huge shit? I put clothes on her in two of these to make it easier to parse where her body parts are
baby pictures ♥️
“The LEGO Movie was my favorite movie of 2014, but it strikes me that the main character was male, because I feel like in our current culture, he HAD to be. The whole point of Emmett is that he’s the most boring average person in the world. It’s impossible to imagine a female character playing that role, because according to our pop culture, if she’s female she’s already SOMEthing, because she’s not male. The baseline is male. The average person is male. You can see this all over but it’s weirdly prevalent in children’s entertainment. Why are almost all of the muppets dudes, except for Miss Piggy, who’s a parody of femininity? Why do all of the Despicable Me minions, genderless blobs, have boy names? I love the story (which I read on Wikipedia) that when the director of The Brave Little Toaster cast a woman to play the toaster, one of the guys on the crew was so mad he stormed out of the room. Because he thought the toaster was a man. A TOASTER. The character is a toaster. I try to think about that when writing new characters— is there anything inherently gendered about what this character is doing? Or is it a toaster?”
— Bojack Horseman creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg commenting on how weird gendered defaults in entertainment are, and why we should think twice about them. Excerpted from this longer original post. (via 360degreesasthecrowflies)
the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt
The answer to "How did these Ancient People do this????" is basically always
1. A lot of dudes. Just a ton of fucking people from beginning to end of the process.
2. Ancient people weren't stupid, they just figured shit out the same way we do: fuck around until you find out.
3. We're gonna plan this out and it's gonna take ten fucking years, and you will cope.
4. Sticks and string are surprisingly versatile and can be used for a variety of purposes, like moving stuff and making sure things are even and go in the spot you wanted to put them in!
5. I want to make this easier and more efficient to move. If I put this on the round thing and push, it will move. If I put this in water, it will move. If I get some animals and rope and have a whole bunch of them drag it, it will move. All of these things are a better option than one guy trying to pick the whole fucking thing up.
No safety regulations
No weekends
Child labor
Slave labor
"The king said to do it"
History does not record the stupid megaprojects that failed

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guys is this fucking real . did i invent the term girlfailure
“the post received five notes in two years” are you mad at me? :(
you think that's bad
"didn't receive any likes over the course of 12 years" thanks knowyourmeme for permanently documenting what a loser i am
Sometimes the Good Lord takes pity on you, and sends you a forklift-certified trans dyke switch 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
forklift me into your arms mommy
Sometimes, when there are no forklift-certified trans dyke switches in your area for God to send to you, the Good Lord turns YOU into the forklift-certified trans dyke switch so that you may in turn bless others <3
and we all said amen 🙏
never kill yourself
Whale Shark Lamp Whale Shark Lamp Whale Shark Lamp
Cardboard and glue era
String era
Shape and paint era
Light!
Didn't take any pictures of wiring all the test bottles, rest assured it was boring as hell and no i dont know how many there are. There's also glass beads!
Yay yippey wihooo
Whale shark lamp Whale shark lamp whaleeee shaaaaark laaaaaamp
When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed
She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string
Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀
Good news! Whäle shark lämp 🥰
chainlink fencing looks so modern to me but it was invented in 1844?? mary shelley could've seen a chainlink fence

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@solipseismic thank u for the insight 🫡
Official ominous sign (apparently translates to "Sorry", in a sincere way)
pathetic wet beast on the brink of tears
OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THEM
Day 14_183 of becoming an influencer #4chair #protectivestyles #naturalhair #minitwists
@laurenneldapascal
I got curious, so without looking up the reddit thread because I hate reddit, I went to the list of Barbie's careers. Because of course people have dated lists of those.
Her first 28 years are fairly tame, until we reach 1987's Canadian Mountie Barbie. Reasonable odds for a cop, even if they're not a USAmerican cop.
in 1991, we get US Air Force Pilot Barbie, US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie, US Navy Petty Officer Barbie. There's also 1992's US Army Barbie, if those guys were feeling left out. I'm also ignoring the 1989 US Army Barbie because that one is 100% a stolen valour runway look, not a uniform.
Going to run my autism over those four.
US Navy Petty Officer Barbie is wearing quartermaster's rating insignia, so no combat for her.
US Army Barbie is wearing an airborne maroon beret with no rank insignia that I could see, but she's loaded down with medical supplies, so I'm gonna say combat medic, but only as many kills as her other medical endeavours.
US Air Force Pilot Barbie is wearing a jacket that looks like a Top Gun tie-in. The unit patch is just the USAF coat of arms, and the name patch says she's a Captain. VERY confusingly, the plane on the box art is an F-5, which had just recently been retired. But its USAF usage was almost all in the OPFOR Aggressor squadrons, which is... "come play enemy planes for our training exercises".
US Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie is wearing E-5 Sergeant's insignia, and three medals (she's in dress uniform). To my eye, and allowing for badly printed colours, looks like Navy and Marine Achievement Medal, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal, and the South West Asia Service Medal. The first two are fairly obvious "Barbie Is Well Behaved" stuff, but uh. That last one though?
USMC Barbie was in Desert Storm.
And if she was in a support role there, well, 1993 gave us USAmerican Cop Barbie. Case closed.
Is it important that she killed with her own hands? Because she has been the US president twice, overlapping with HW and Biden.
#which suggest that president barbie left the Oval Office to participate in Desert Storm#or arranged for herself to receive the medal without participating#both scenarios provide dizzying implications about Barbie’s whole deal

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The idea of Mario and Peach having any kind of relationship beyond the occasional kiss on the nose and "mama mia" is like viscerally incomprehensible to me
Not like in a prude way I just can't conceive of Mario experiencing... urges. He's a character outside the scope of that. I'm not saying he's asexual either cause positioning him on the allo/ace spectrum implies that it's a dimension of his character that at least exists, that he has at some point noticed it. I think he just jumps.
Luigi probably fucks though.
#op interrogate yourself about why you think this right fucking now
So unlike Mario, who continues to be essentially a void with no internality, I actually act with thoughts and intent and already did do that when writing this post.
Mario is a mascot of one of the most sanitized corporate brands in existence. He differs from real, full-fledged ace people in that his sexlessness is not queer, not transgressive in any sense of the word, just a void left by his position as a player character. He has no queer identity because he has no identity beyond the fact that it's-a-him, Mario.
Ok but why is Luigi different
displays internality by being capable of fear. to fear is to have something to lose. and what does he stand to lose? fucking.
people who don't use or spend time on tumblr don't really understand how solid this place is for creatives and how we could be living in artist utopia if they fully undid the nsfw ban. the tag system? the dashboard? the silly anons who will send you the most insane sentences known to mankind? having your very old, shitty art make the rounds again because somebody finds value from it and wants to show their friends? no other place even comes close