okay.

The problem comes in when you start connecting things that you don’t need to connect, like “mild displeasure” with “OH GOD EVERYONE HATES ME” or “I feel a little crummy” with “I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD”.

So when we’re talking about Life Skills/ADLs, you gotta use that power to make your life easier, not harder. You gotta connect things when it makes your life better and NOT do it when it makes your life harder. 

Here’s an example of the habits: 

I had a stretch of time where I was too sick to do much of anything. I could barely get out of bed to get to the bathroom. I was walking with a stick and generally just… le dead. And one of the problems I had was that I could almost never remember to take my morning meds. 

I decided that the first time I got up to use the bathroom every day, I’d take my meds. That way I was taking them no matter how crap I felt- I had to get up to pee, like it or not- and it was getting done pretty early in the morning. 

Getting up to pee meant taking my meds; they were the same thing. I didn’t have to remember to take my meds separately, or set an alarm to remind myself, or anything like that. I just did it as part of something I had to do anyway.

As time went on and I started getting better, I realized I could do the same thing with other parts of my routine. If you connect something you need to do with something you have to do, the thing you need to do gets done.

So like… say I’m already in the habit of getting up to take a shower. I’ve lived in crappy apartments my entire life, so the water takes a minute to warm up. Since my countertop dishwasher is right outside my bathroom door, I’ll take a second to empty and load the dishwasher while the water’s still heating up. It just becomes part of the routine of taking a shower. 

You don’t have to think about Doing The Extra Thing. Connecting it to something you’re already doing means that, after a certain point, it just… happens, automatically.

 The problem comes in when you start trying to do this with tasks- things that you only have to get done once, that already have a fair few steps to them. Especially if that task is has a lot of steps, has a time limit, or is otherwise Hard for you. 

Figuring out tasks with dependencies (I have to do this before I can do this!) is already hard for us ADHDers. Sometimes what happens is that you bundle two tasks together- you decide you can’t do something until you’ve done the other thing, even though these tasks are in no way connected. 

Here’s an example: 

I have three packages I need to mail. One of them is a gift for a friend in Australia, which costs a lot of money; one of them is a package for my Etsy store which is Not Finished Yet, and one is a very late Christmas package. 

I might decide, “hey, I need to mail all three of these packages together! I can’t mail any of these packages until I bundle all of them!” But it’s probably smarter to mail them separately! I don’t want to make my friend with the late Christmas package wait any more, so I can mail that first, and then mail the Australia package when I have the money and the Etsy package when it’s finished. 

But if I insist that I have to bundle these tasks… I won’t get any of them done. I’ll be too stressed out about the Etsy package not being done to mail the other two packages, and then I will run out of money for the Australia package, and the Christmas package will not get sent til Labour Day.

Completely abolishing the “Muslim ban” travel ban, which had blocked travel to the US from several Muslim-majority and African countries 

Restarting visa processing for people from the affected countries from the travel ban, and focusing on “addressing the harm caused to those who were prevented from coming to the US because of the ban”

Reinstating ties with the World Health Organization (after Trump withdrew the US’s membership and funding last year) and making Dr. Anthony Fauci the head of the American WHO delegation

Rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement and ordering federal agencies to start reinstating more than 100 environmental regulations that were weakened/rolled back by Trump

Stopping the Border Wall construction and immediately terminating the national emergency declaration that allowed Trump to redirect billions of dollars to the wall

Revoking the permit for the Keystone XL pipeline’s construction

Overturning Trump’s executive order that had stopped federal agencies, contractors, and other institutions from holding diversity and inclusion training

Immediately ending Trump’s 1776 Commission, a committee that aimed to give American students “patriotic” history lessons, which were widely criticized by historians and civil rights leaders as being “racist lies” and “nationalist propaganda” that whitewashed history and greatly downplayed how bad slavery was

Protecting the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA) and keeping Dreamers (people who were brought to the US as children) from being deported

Extending the national ban on evictions

Overturning a Trump executive order that had pushed “aggressive efforts” to find and deport immigrants

Blocking the deportation of Liberians, a group Trump had targeted specifically

Reversing the rollbacks to vehicle emissions standards

Designating Susan E. Rice as the leader of a “robust, interagency” effort requiring all federal agencies to make “rooting out systemic racism” central to their work, and requiring federal agencies to submit detailed reports on equity in their ranks within 200 days

Reinforcing Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, to require that the federal government does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, a policy that reverses actions by Trump’s administration

Undoing Trump’s orders that slashed the size of several national parks (Trump had wanted to auction off parts of national parks and protected land, primarily to oil companies) and halting the oil and natural gas leases in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Restoring the directorate for global health security and biodefense at the National Security Council, a group Trump had disbanded, and requiring social distancing. A mask mandate would be met with significant legal opposition, but this order also requires masks on all federal property and by all federal employees

And lastly: immediately freezing all of Trump’s recent regulations he’d tried to sneak in at the last minute, so that the new administration can examine them much closer

By Sunday night the fever was gone and she was complaining that the hospital didn’t get WWE and she was gonna “miss my wrasslin shows!”.

So Cas is comparing the effects of Rowena’s curse to being placed in a blender to make salsa. And then Dean says:

To which Cas replies:

Then we get this look:

Why is this significant?

But I’m sure it means nothing. Just a coincidence the totally heterosexual director missed.

Stop abusing your boyfriends and yes what you are doing is abuse.

Stop:

Yelling at him in front of his friends 

Hitting or slapping him when he does or says something you don’t like

Telling him he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to decisions that involve both of you 

Telling him he can’t hang out with friends because you don’t like him

Telling him to not talk to other girls even if they are his friend

Forcing him to spend every moment with you 

Belittling him and pointing out all his flaws

Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake

Threatening to break up with him if he doesn’t do what you want

Being emotionally manipulative and crying until he does what you want

Accusing him of cheating every time he’s not with you

Blow up is phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes 

Telling him you are the must thing that has ever happened to him and no one else will love

Physically attacking him when ever you are mad

Forcing him to have sex despite that fact that he said he didn’t want to

Invading his privacy by going through his phone

Getting mad at him for changing his password and demanding he tell you what it is

If a guy did any of these things to a girl it would be considered abuse but since its the other way around its considered normal. Throughout High school I saw many girl treating their boyfriends like shit. Sometime even physically abusing them in the hallways and no one trying to stop it because its a girl attacking a boy. 

Boys: If your girlfriend does anything on this list leave her. It is abuse and you deserve better.

You don’t deserve to be screamed at, ignored, or assaulted.

Being passive aggressive with him when he wants to spend time with friends or doing other things 

controlling when he’s able to go out with friends

Breaking up his friendships with other girls just because you’re insecure

Making him feel like his opinions in decisions that affect the both of you are irrelevant and don’t matter

SENDING HIS NUMBER TO STRANGERS TO TEST IF HE’S LOYAL OR NOT

testing him in anyway in general without his knowledge or permission (example: catfishing! it’s manipulative and weird don’t fucking do that)

taking money/credit cards without permission to spend on things without his knowledge ( had an ex friend do this constantly to her boyfriend and she’d always condone it because “he’ll get over it” )

guilting him for hanging out with friends/family over you  and making him choose between you and friends/family

telling him “you don’t love me if you *insert harmless activity he wants to do here* “

being rude or mean to him in front of others to assert dominance or power over him

downloading apps to spy on his phone activity (yes, this is a thing “”regular”” people do) or snooping on his social media to see who he’s talking to

hitting him, slapping him, punching him, shoving him. literally how do people not understand slapping your male partner is bad. people tend to find this funny in media and society and its weird. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR PARTNER WITHOUT PERMISSION. 

and let me add this. ABUSIVE TEEN GIRLFRIENDS TURN INTO ABUSIVE GROWN ASS WOMEN GIRLFRIENDS WHO TURN INTO ABUSIVE WIVES.

if you have an abusive teen or young adult gf right now fellas, leave. don’t let her use you to get her shit right. you’ll be so fucked up by the time she gets it together if she ever does and believe that most likely she won’t.