Open Casket Wedding

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

if youre feeling anxious during sex just imagine the other person is naked

imagine if public transit ran 24/7........ in my beautiful world

This local smoothie place got shut down by the health department after my buddy Jalm was hospitalized for an ageric reaction cause they didn't disclose their usage of gagobears

[Getting so angry it makes my brain disease worse] people sre supposed to be nice..

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

when your friend asks if you have any plans like nope just me and the skull lol

if he was bitten by a small burger he would be slider-man. just something to consider going forward

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.

uhh my two cents are fucking each other

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'